While I'm on the subject forgive me one more relationship grouse, then I promise to let off this subject for a while.
Over the past several years, I've known several women to whom I was attracted who told me they weren't interested in me and then paid me the following insult: "I wish I could find a guy like you." Hello! I am like me. They insinuate that there's something about me that they like yet something about me they detest at the same time. They don't really mean they want someone like me. They really want someone like me, only cuter- much cuter.
I know I'm not much to look at, but I'm a decent man.
About half my life ago, one of the college aged guys in my martial arts class told me something that gave me encouragement. He said that the girls to whom guys paid no attention in high school would be the ones that they'd pursue in college for the traits and skills those girls had towards making good relationships. For my own part, I have lost almost all interest in and attraction to the drop-dead-gorgeous girls who offer aesthetics and little else. While attraction is important to me, I know that aesthetic beauty is an asset guaranteed to depreciate while other characteristics retain value or appreciate with time.
When you consider what I bring to the table, the girls who insult me under the guise of a compliment describe me correctly. Not to say I'm perfect, but I possess a myriad of skills, characteristics, and ethos that will be useful and strengthening to a properly founded relationship. Other far more attractive guys talk about what they do in the evening. They convene for movie nights, pay homage to "Family Guy" reruns, or go out to eat. I go home and read Dostoyevsky or Marcus Aurelius, work on my own books, and do photography. On the weekend, they go for hikes or to the pool. I work on my car, fix my bike, and pour concrete. They stay up late, sleep in, and become part of the party life. I retire early, rise early and exercise, and work to keep my quality of life. Yet, those are the guys everyone wants to be around and to be together with.
I really wish I could stand here and tell you that nice guys finish first, but I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided and that is the lamp of experience. Being valedictorian, an eagle scout, and a moral man have not catapulted me to fiduciary, philanthropic, educational, political, or marital success. Nor have they proven successful keeping me from troubles in any of the aforementioned arenas. I know no other way to live. I trust that what should be will be when the time is right, but this much I know. If there were more people in the world, not like me, but who lived like me, the world would be a better place, because it would be full of people who really care and really try to "Do Your Best" and "Do a Good Turn Daily".
Over the past several years, I've known several women to whom I was attracted who told me they weren't interested in me and then paid me the following insult: "I wish I could find a guy like you." Hello! I am like me. They insinuate that there's something about me that they like yet something about me they detest at the same time. They don't really mean they want someone like me. They really want someone like me, only cuter- much cuter.
I know I'm not much to look at, but I'm a decent man.
About half my life ago, one of the college aged guys in my martial arts class told me something that gave me encouragement. He said that the girls to whom guys paid no attention in high school would be the ones that they'd pursue in college for the traits and skills those girls had towards making good relationships. For my own part, I have lost almost all interest in and attraction to the drop-dead-gorgeous girls who offer aesthetics and little else. While attraction is important to me, I know that aesthetic beauty is an asset guaranteed to depreciate while other characteristics retain value or appreciate with time.
When you consider what I bring to the table, the girls who insult me under the guise of a compliment describe me correctly. Not to say I'm perfect, but I possess a myriad of skills, characteristics, and ethos that will be useful and strengthening to a properly founded relationship. Other far more attractive guys talk about what they do in the evening. They convene for movie nights, pay homage to "Family Guy" reruns, or go out to eat. I go home and read Dostoyevsky or Marcus Aurelius, work on my own books, and do photography. On the weekend, they go for hikes or to the pool. I work on my car, fix my bike, and pour concrete. They stay up late, sleep in, and become part of the party life. I retire early, rise early and exercise, and work to keep my quality of life. Yet, those are the guys everyone wants to be around and to be together with.
I really wish I could stand here and tell you that nice guys finish first, but I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided and that is the lamp of experience. Being valedictorian, an eagle scout, and a moral man have not catapulted me to fiduciary, philanthropic, educational, political, or marital success. Nor have they proven successful keeping me from troubles in any of the aforementioned arenas. I know no other way to live. I trust that what should be will be when the time is right, but this much I know. If there were more people in the world, not like me, but who lived like me, the world would be a better place, because it would be full of people who really care and really try to "Do Your Best" and "Do a Good Turn Daily".
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It should be noted that this post was inspired by something my sister said and not by the girls to whom I refer. She is of course free to not like me that way, regardless of how much she may admire my qualities.
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