Santa Symbolic of Christ

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22 November 2004

Why Santa Claus is a Christian Symbol

Many in our world will decry Santa Claus for taking away the focus from the Savior at Christmas. I heard today how a leader in a religious school felt justified in telling children that Santa Claus doesn’t exist. How sad to poison their minds against one of the most powerful symbols of Christmas, one that, as I will attempt to convince you, leads men indeed to Christ and true Christianity.

Under pressure from Pagan threats, the powers that be combined Christ’s birth with pagan celebrations but kept the gifts. Over time, the legend of Kris Kringle arose, a man who traveled to good children at Christmas and gave them gifts according to their behavior. Those who permit Santa a place at Christmas do so generally on the basis of the gift giving, which commemorates the tokens the Wise Men brought to the baby Jesus. However, Santa himself reflects the Savior in many ways. He works all year long to give things away. He does so without expectation of recognition or reward, appearing in secret and giving without hesitation. He gives gifts proportionate to the behavior of children. He forces none to do his work in his stead, delivering the gifts personally on a single night before returning to his distant home. Children write to him, imploring him to shower them with gifts. One of the best images of Santa is from “Miracle on 34th Street” where Kris Kringle, acting as the department store Santa, sends shoppers to a competitor for a gift. He is concerned with the child’s happiness, not with the bottom line. Teaching children to believe in Santa Claus teaches them to believe in someone bigger than they are whose only desire is to bring men joy.

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten son… Santa gives. He never takes or expects us to give against our will just because he gave something to us. Ye are my friends…whom I delight to bless…and ye shall have inheritance with me. We receive blessings by obedience to his laws and commandments, but rather than give punishments, at least Santa gives children something useful- coal, which provides them with warmth and light and helps lead people back to Christ, the source of all that is good in this world. Jesus spent but a brief period doing good among men, then he went home to his father. He invites us to work with him as his elves, but forces none to serve. Jesus went about doing good, giving of his essence and strength to help others without hoping or even wanting gratitude or reward. He asked the lepers not to tell what he had done, and in one single night, he gave the greatest gift of all- the promise of freedom from death and sin for those who commit to serve and obey his word. He invites us to ask him for blessings and promises to answer our prayers. He knows who’s naughty and nice, but he usually gives us gifts despite the fact that we haven’t been “good little girls and boys” all year long.

Some fiends of capitalism took advantage of the popularity of this idea to market toys and possessions in order to maximize on the gift idea. Just like the servants of the adversary have done through all time, they counterfeit Christmas behind gifts, wrapping paper, and shopping so as to distract us from the true meaning of Christmas. Despite our best efforts, they will likely continue to provide opposition to the truth, mutating Kris Kringle into their spokesman and masking his role as a herald of Christ as they have done with all good things God gives man.

Let us be like Edmund Gwen as Kris Kringle and work for the happiness of children. There is happiness to be found in life so long as there is Christmas, and Santa Claus is the messenger of happiness and hope, who annually reminds us that there is something bigger than ourselves that acts for only altruistic purposes and that men can be good when they consider the needs of others.

Traditions at Christmas

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Most of the Christmas movies I remember and like are about families and came out when I was still living at home. I am close in age to McCauley Culkin, so I could empathize with him in "Home Alone".  I tried to watch "The Santa Clause" Tuesday night and realized just how old it was. It was a simpler time, about family and traditions and the like, more than about gadgets. in fact, there are very few electronics in this movie. Ah, how I miss those days! My family established good traditions for which I am grateful, and I yearn for the chance to set some with a family of my own. Until then, here are a few of my own.

I have to give SOS radio a thunderous applause for playing traditional Christmas music this holiday season. Other radio stations play "holiday songs", but SOS went out of their way to play predominantly carols as well as the songs reminiscent of my youth. You see, every year on Christmas Day my dad would play Mannheim Steamroller Christmas music, most of which is traditional and religious, rather than the tripe like Santa Baby and Feliz Navidad that predominates elsewhere. It made it feel more like Christmases when I was at home and helped me think more about Christ than the other stations ever will.

When I was young, Christmas was all about family. Although we didn't live near extended family, my parents spent time building our own traditions and making it a family affair. During the week prior to Christmas, we went out to look at lights in the neighborhood. My dad read from Luke 2 every Christmas eve and pontificated on the story briefly, and we had a series of musical presentations from each family member since all of us are musical. Before we could see Santa, dad set up the video camera, and before we opened presents, we had traditional pettel roll. We had to sing again before opening a present, and we took turns from eldest to youngest until they were gone. In the afternoon, we'd go for a walk, or in later years go to play tennis.

Christmas has magic because of families. The best Christmases I remember since leaving my parents' house were the ones where I made Christmas for a family. I found two families this year to help, from setting up the tree to telling stories to procuring presents. It helps make it magical when, on Christmas morning, the children awake to presents from Santa that are surprises to the parents as much as to the children, labeled with handwriting that the children do not recognize because they don't know how I write. It gives them hope in someone bigger than they are who believes in giving good gifts, and I like doing it because I believe that Santa is a great metaphor for Christ Himself. Since I don't have my own family or my own children, for a few days at least, I get to be part of that magic for others, and Christmas reminds me of what it meant when I was a boy.

After Christmas Eve, this will be a quiet holiday for me. My parents are going to visit the rest of my siblings, meaning this will be the first Christmas since we left home that my parents see everyone. Despite promises to the contrary, I am still without a family of my own, and when I get home, I'm working on taxes rather than on family memories, on physical fitness rather than on family togetherness, on prep for next term rather than on preparation for next Christmas. Many moons ago, I said adieu To my beloved Katmandu. She's the one with whom I desired to be For time and all eternity. There isn't anywhere I really desire to be since I'm off work until the New Year. Normally this time of year, I go for long walks every evening and talk to God or look for people who need help. Since I don't have a family of my own for which to care, I go looking for members of the Family of Man to help instead.

I like the idea of family togetherness, and traditional Christmas memories. We were a tight family, and I look forward to that possibility for my own family one day. God blessed me with a good family, and my buddy thinks I'll make a good father in my own right one day. Time will tell. Until then, I enjoy playing Santa for others. Since that post doesn't seem to have made it up on my blog, I'll hunt it down and post up this weekend why I think Santa makes a great allegory for Christ, which would be a very Christmasy thing to do. Joy to the world, the Lord is come, and I am so very thankful that He did. Merry Christmas to you all, especially you.

Peace on Earth

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Many people lionize the notion of peace on earth as if it's something more than an ideal. As an example, some of them point to the Christmas when, during the Great War, soldiers from the trenches organized their own armistice at Christmas and sang and celebrated together, drinking libations and exchanging gifts. The paradox of that story is that the next day those same soldiers resumed killing each other. As we wish each other peace and joy, I do not think that peace means what we think it means. In our Sunday School this past week, as we spoke about Christ's mortal life and His eventual return, I thought to myself about how Jesus himself described His mission and His coming. While it's well known that He didn't come to throw off oppression in a mortal and temporal manner, I don't think it's well understood how true that really is.

When Jesus first began His ministry, He went to the synagogue and read from the Torah as was their tradition when a man becomes a man. He chose a passage from Isaiah. Rather than war and justice and liberty, it speaks of mercy and hope and kindness. The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised, To preach the acceptable year of the Lord. Truly, the peace that the Prince of Peace seemed to offer was peace of mind, peace of heart, which might be why they protested Him so vehemently. That's not what they wanted. They asked Santa to throw off the Roman oppressors! Instead, Jesus came to heal their souls and leave the geopolitical establishment virtually untouched.

All too often we discount the value of inner peace. I used to complain that when I prayed mostly what I felt was peace of mind and peace of heart, but I realize now just how much I like that when I don't get it. Of late, as trials mounted, I felt very disquieted, and the peace and love I felt from my Maker gave me courage to press forward, confidence in good things to come, and direction that allowed me to seek a peaceable outcome. There are no fireworks. The status quo remains the same, but I feel better about the situation, and I have peace. I doubt the other parties privy to private matters can say the same.

Particularly this year, I value peace more in a time of turmoil. We had scares about ebola, about cop shootings, riots globally, and a whole extent of reasons to fear. I come home some nights and thank God that my life is quiet and boring. I don't have the flu, I am not trapped in a mine in Chile, I am not in Ukraine worrying about the Russian army, I am not in west africa worried about hemorrhagic fever, and I am not living behind the Cox Cable transfer box or in my car. I sat in church this Sunday and, although I am keenly aware of my weaknesses, I felt the love of God in my life and knew that He would take care of me. Monday morning, I even got some news that alleviated a worry and gave me clarity, and that was a peaceful moment for which I expressed gratitude all day.

I think it's wisdom to celebrate the birth of Christ just before the new year dawns. Just before we think of new beginnings, fresh starts, goals for personal betterment, and hopes for better things to come, we think about the Way by which those things really manifest in our lives. Because He lives, there is hope, there are second chances, and dreams can be realized despite our past. Because of Him, we need only let our mistakes trouble us with the trouble that leads to repentance. Just before we make changes, we think about the Agent of Change. Despite our disappointments with the previous year, we celebrate at its denouement the fact that there will be another year, perhaps a better one, because He lives. Last Saturday, I told someone and myself in so doing that our trials exist to remind us of our need for a Savior, and so I thank God this year as always for the chance and disposition to think about the Christ in Christmas.

Christ offers a different kind of peace than people usually expect. Until Christ returns to rule, there will not be peace on earth in a political sense, but we can have peace of mind, peace of soul, and peace in our hearts about our lives, our choices, and our circumstances any day of the year. In our sphere of influence, we can walk peaceably and be agents of peace. We cannot change the choices other people make, but we can decide how we regard them. We can be better. We can offer the other cheek. We can show them a more excellent way. We can be peaceable. In that way, we make peace and we are at peace despite the tumult and chicanery with which we find ourselves surrounded. The ruderal and rude world may rail around us, but we can feel the comfort of the Comforter because we learned to follow and look toward the Prince of Peace. Until He comes again to rule, the peace is personal. Every day, that peace can be real.

Merry Christmas to you all, and may you have peace and joy today and every day through Christ the Lord.

Play Your Best For HIM

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For me, Christmas really only begins the Sunday prior, when my congregation performs their Christmas program. Usually, it involves a series of musical numbers and narration, during which I shut my eyes and just listen to the Holy Spirit. Mostly, I don't really feel like or realize that it's Christmas because I only finished giving final exams last Monday and posted grades on Wednesday, and so until mid December I'm busier than ever with work. This year, I also shifted into a new office and work space at work, and it was a disaster area governed by entropy, so this last week in my free time I've been taking care of errands and working feverishly at work so that it doesn't feel much like Christmas. Finally today I had time to finish the gifting and take care of the people who mean something to me and settle down to think about the season.

One part of yesterday's program that particularly touched me was the bishop's remarks on his favorite Christmas hymn.  His choice surprised me and caught my attention.  Lately, I came across a series of internet cartoons that criticize "Little Drummer Boy" as an inappropriate gift for the Christ child. Apparently these people failed to realize what message the text communicates, and until the Bishop recounted them, I realized I never registered them either.

You see, each of us are like that drummer boy. What do we really have to give the Christ? He is the Son of the Living God, and He has no need of our gold, frankincense or myrrh. Like that boy, we "have no gifts to bring, parum pa pum pum". We have our time, our talents, and our abilities. We have our will. Neal A Maxwell once said that our will is the only thing we can really give to God, our genuine desire to serve him. When the drummer boy offers to play his drum, that's what he's doing- genuinely desiring to do something worthy. Despite attempts to portray it as some kind of grunge display of banging drums, I doubt that's what the song's author had in mind. When you listen to it, it's hardly a harsh drum beat. Sure, percussion isn't usually pretty, but remember that the piano is a percussion instrument too. It wasn't about being a good musician or playing Chopin or giving the best gifts. Sometimes we forget that the first people to visit the Christ were shepherds, ostensibly among the humblest of professions. Rather, like the song reminds us, "I played my best for him, parum pa pum pum". We play our BEST for Him. Finally, what these cartoonists miss is that at the end, even though this was a drum solo, the Christ child smiled at the drummer boy. His best was fit for the King.

"So, to honor Him, parum pa pum pum" I will continue to play and bang on THIS drum. This year, more than ever before, I am grateful for the coming of Christ. It was a tough year in many ways, and like so many before it, I'm glad to see most of it go. I sat in the meeting thinking and listening and registered for the first time in my life that I've been going about this all wrong. The Atonement of Christ wasn't for IF we sin, IF we fail, IF we aren't good enough. He came because it was certain that we could not get back alone. Which of you can, by simple force of will, add an inch to your stature? Which of you can erase a mistake? You can wear platform shoes or keep secrets, but in and through Christ's sacrifice, that is the only way we can hear that the Lord remembers our sins no more, covers our pains forevermore, and welcomes us to His presence to depart nevermore.

I don't really know what I have to offer. People who know me well betimes tell me how wonderful I am only to say "You're a great guy, but..." when I don't validate their worth or fulfill their expectations. For some reason, God not only knows my name but also cares about me. For God so loved the world that He sent His only begotten Son that whoso believeth should not perish but have everlasting life. Until this year, I was pretty confident that I was a great guy. I was fairsure that I was a person worthy of veneration. I knew I was no paragon, but I am even more acutely aware now of my weaknesses. I really hope I haven't led anyone astray who followed my lead. You see, my decisions set me up to either be scapegoat or saint, and since sainthood isn't really possible, I'm afraid I'll fail. Well, I will. That's why Christ is such a special message.

The first visitors to the stable where Christ was born were shepherds. They had very little to offer. What they did that mattered most was went abroad and told everyone what they saw and felt and learned from the angels and from the visit to Joseph, Mary and Jesus. Maybe they were not as articulate as they would like or couldn't convey their feelings effectively or didn't get to everyone, but if God wanted that message spread perfectly, He would do it Himself. Instead, He invites us to help Him. I am a poor boy too. I have no gifts fit to lay before the King. I desire greatly to honour Him, to give good gifts to Him, to play my best for Him. I hope that when the final accounting is taken of my life and my drum solo ends, He will smile at me and smile upon me and be merciful to me.

Barack Almighty

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With rare exception, I dislike Jim Carrey movies, but one in particular teaches a powerful lesson about work and rewards. In the movie "Bruce Almighty" God gives Bruce the power to act in His stead, and Bruce decides to make things easy so as not to be distracted from his will by simply giving everyone what they demand. Soon this makes problems for Buffalo NY until God returns and sets things right. Far too often in our lives, we insist that God give us everything we like, whether that God is our Father in Heaven or government, only to discover that we're neither happy nor well. Truly, James Madison proved prescient that what we achieve easily we esteem lightly.

For most of Barack Obama's presidency, this nation lived under a Democrat dominated government that could deliver what denizens demanded. Despite all of their achievements- amnesty, Obamacare, gun control measures, a bloated budget, ad infinitum, neither the Democrat politicians nor their constituents are happy. They got everything they demanded, but they are not satiated. They demand more. Apparently they forgot that Barbossa taught us that all the pleasurable company, fine food, and drink cannot slake our lusts. Barack Almighty answered their prayers, and although he didn't give them everything, he gave them things that Democrat politicians have promised for decades, and the people are still miserable, poor, and far from panacea.

Many people in life complain when God doesn't answer their prayers even though most of them defy His commandments. We assume that we know what we truly desire, that we know what's good for us, and that our plan and vision is better than His. Despite what Isaiah wrote, we think our way is higher, better, and purer than God's and we demand our will be done. Then we often have to crawl before Him and petition Him to fix our plight and humbly wait whilst God unties the knot we made. We constantly go after things that are not good for us or are not good when it comes to God's intend regarding us, and so sometimes He intercedes to protect us from ourselves when we go after things we ought to ignore. He knows that if we get everything we claim we want we will serve the natural man and end up far from fulfillment of our eternal potential.

If God gave us everything we asked, we would become dependent on Him rather than like Him. Consider what you would be likely to do if God were more of a genie than a deity. By a rub of the lamp, god would appear and grant your every wish immediately, even if it wasn't good for you or what you actually intended to request. We'd end up with things we didn't need, didn't want, didn't like, and didn't intend because it would come easily. Rather than working, we'd turn to him to wave a magic wand and make all of our dreams come true. Soon, we'd cease appreciating what we have because we could have anything we like. Nothing would have value, including our lives, if we could simply have everything we like. The value of a thing is in what it takes to acquire it. That's why people waste easy money, avoid easy women, and whine when they have everything they asked.

God denies us immediate gratification because the value of a thing is partially related to what it costs us. If a thing costs us little, then we esteem it as dross and refuse. When everything comes easily, we esteem nothing. This is why the liberal panacea is no panacea. When everything comes cheaply, nothing will. We cannot be satisfied by having everything. We choose things that are unwise. If everyone won the lottery, we'd all get $5, and that's hardly worth the effort. If everyone's team wins, there are no losers. Everything has its opposite so that we can learn to eschew the evil and relish the virtuous. In a time of "your way right away" and "on demand TV" and whatever whenever, the poor of today do not realize that they are better off in many cases than the wealthy of yesteryear. Without having to achieve, they see only that others have more and turn to envy. For this reason, particularly between Thanksgiving and Christmas, God asks us to possess an attitude of gratitude because it gives us perspective. I do not live in my car. I do not have arthritis. I am not living in a country at war. I have a roof over my head, money in the bank, food in the fridge, and friends on the other end of the phone. Sure, life could be better, but I thank God for all of my blessings, even sometimes for the unanswered prayer. For now, His message in some cases is, "Not yet", but that means that one day it might be. What should be will be when the time is right. Who am I to say when that is?

Governor's Fitness Challenge

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Dear Governor Sandoval:

I hope this finds its way into your hands directly, because I feel strongly that it will get lost in the shuffle when it ought to be brought to your attention. I write to make you aware of an issue because I think it causes more problems than it solves, and I think it's easier to right something when you know about it. I urge you to consider the unspoken message this communicates to State Employees, many of whom have low morale and lower wages than they hoped in order to comply with your predecessor's attempt to balance the budget. Many of us feel put upon, and you are in a position to change that.

Last week, I received my "reward" for participating in the October NV 150 Wellness Challenge, and I felt far from rewarded. Rather, it seems that someone in your office chose a gift, not with thought, but with urgency to get something out to us without regard for how it would be received. The "gift" included two items in which I am not interested and for which I have no use. Both of them came across as tawdry and jejune, hardly worthy of consideration as a fit reward for the many hours of exertion put into this challenge. The first item was a piece of jewelry that can only be described as a gawdy bauble. I am a single male, and I know no female, including family members, to whom I would consider gifting it. it is poorly made and of absolutely no worth to anyone, except perhaps to the "artist" who was likely handsomely compensated for something that might never sell on the open market. The second item was a pack of special playing cards. It is against my religion to engage in games of chance, and I refuse to keep playing cards in my home. Furthermore, I can get these at any casino in town for free. Neither of these items can be considered a fit prize to the average person.

I suspect the issue lies with members of your staff who made poor choices. Gifts were given without regard for whether they were appropriate to my gender or considerate of my religious sensibilities. Perhaps the choices were made in haste, as an afterthought, and anonymously, left to people who have no interest in due diligence. I would have preferred to receive nothing at all, or perhaps you could have sent me the money unwisely spent to FEDEX the package to my house since the gifts will in all likelihood find themselves in the trash. Your office kept the actual identify of the gift clandestine, and I would have exempted myself from the program if I had known I would receive these two trinkets so as to make room for someone who valued these items, since they have zero value to me.

Hopefully, you will speak with these individuals and find a way to correct the choices that led to this travesty of generosity. As these gifts have no value to me, neither of us have gained from the virtues of the other. I have no interest in keeping them as a momento of my achievements, and so you gain no credence for having given them. Instead, I feel like a relative to whom one gave an old fruitcake or a pair of used socks. Particularly during the Christmas Season, it would have been nice to have something of actual value that I could put to use procuring a gift for someone about whom I care, particularly given the many years during which State Employees have worked without any kind of raise while costs rose. I expect this was done without your specific knowledge, and I wanted you to know that it made me feel unappreciated to receive "gifts" I would never use and for which I have zero desire. I was one of the top 150 in the state, and I hope that others received better items or that they feel more rewarded than I. If not, this is your clarion call to correct the actions of those to whom your office delegated the task.

Thank you for your attention in this matter.

Sincerely-

Doug

Update: Here is a picture of my "prize".

What Professors Do During the Break

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Last year for Christmas, I came down with Norvovirus and spent a miserable break between the two ultimate holidays of the year. In talking with other professors, this appears to be both common as well as easily explained. You see, we remain in constant contact with students, many of whom do not know they are sick, and we are under stress. At first the stress helps us, but when the semester fades so do we, finally succumbing to whatever bug they happen to pass. At least we can't say they never gave us anything, and there's plenty to share. In fact, many of us spend our breaks recovering from illness rather than lounging by the pool like many students seem to believe.

During the semester, we keep things under check as best we can. Like my desk at home, our lives become more difficult to keep tidy as the weeks wear on, but with the help of adrenaline, we soldier on and keep things in a controlled state of chaos. Once the stress of achievement wanes, we frequently weaken due to exhaustion and since our adrenaline drops without the urgent and important hubbub of academia to keep us in a state of constant agitation, we fall under the weather. Rather than recuperating in relaxation, we find ourselves seeking remedies and rest in order to reset for another term. I've been working a full load now for 3.5 years, and at my father's suggestion, insistence, and advice, I'm taking next summer off from teaching before I burn myself out, particularly before I learn to hate teaching.

The worst part of breaks isn't the colds and flu as much as it's the politics. They like to barrage us with emails even when we are off campus, forcing us to work. They like to change textbooks or course materials in such a way that we must prep new material in order to teach the same class. In my case, they like to assign me a potpourri of different courses every term to keep me in a constant learning curve or to deprive me at least of as much redundancy as possible. Most teachers have multiple sections of the same course. At most, I have two. Once I had zero. Somehow, I managed to only come unprepared for the right class once that spring, and I felt a sense of satisfaction at having kept that failure rate so low. There are meetings, bloody meetings, expectations, stupid expectations, and then there's jockeying for sections with people who are connected more than they are qualified while the best professors are slowly squeezed out in favor of boot-licking toadies.

During the break we all wonder how much longer we can do this. Many are close enough to retirement that they would welcome the chance if economics permitted or if they were terminated. I don't know if anyone does this for 30 years, and I don't think I could, which is why I'll take the summer off and see if I'm part of their long-term strategy. So far, I accepted Saturday courses, courses that created scheduling conflicts, last minute changes to my load, overload, and other things every time asked except for once hoping it would win me a place. I don't think that worked. We shall see.

This break, I hope I won't be sick either with a cold or with the culture of higher education. I will thank God for the chance I had these past few years to meet fine people and change perspectives. I will mourn the loss of friends made and opportunities missed by those I met and knew and loved. Most of all, I will miss my Kat. Particularly this time of year, we reflect on what we have. I know my ancestors would gape in awe at my affluence, and I think my paternal grandfather looks down with approbation. Like Thomas More told Richard Rich, he thought I should be a teacher, and with all due humility, I'm pretty good at it too. Maybe after this break I'll be ready to do it again and do it well.

Check for Loaded Guns

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People offer you things all the time, and usually they are good for you. Sometimes, what looks like a good idea is really a loaded gun. Owing to my experiences, I have grown far more jaded for my age than I should be, and I look at people warily when they offer me anything, particularly if it sounds too good to be true. I have learned by sad experience that most of those opportunities are snake oil in drag, and so I know that they come loaded and likely cost me either more than I expect or something dear to me.

When I started college, I learned to distrust the "friendly" telephone call. Almost every Sunday when the phone rang, it was someone from church asking me to fill in for someone else's failure to properly prepare. Knowing that I would be home and have nothing else to do, people frequently turned to me. At first, I was flattered to be wanted; then I realized I was being used, so I took to taking walks for hours on Sunday morning and going down to the river to feed the homeless so as not to be a crutch on which others could lean. Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part. I grew so suspicious of the loaded friendship that one Sunday, when my father called just to chat, I answered, "What can I do for you?" as became my modus opporendi. When he told me that he just wanted to find out how I was, I realized how suspicious I was.

Many of the people I meet try to sell me their arrangement as a win-win when it's anything but that. Sometimes it's not on purpose, but some people do so knowing full well that it will be a problem. Whenever I handle a gun, the first thing I do is check to see if it's loaded. You do this to make sure, even if you have good habits, that it can't accidentally shoot you or anything else. You see, as long as it's not loaded, a gun is just a very expensive hammer, and like all hammers it's there to drive in things that are sticking out so that they are more flush. If however the gun is loaded and something happens, even if you survive, it may still cost you your life, at least the life you were currently living.

Friendship no more implies absolute trust than absolute trust implies friendship. I take very few people on account, having been promised frequently that people will pay me back or make it up to me only to do nothing of the sort. I still remember the first girl who promised me a rain check for standing me up on a date; not only did that never happen, but she married my close college friend instead, leading me to think that she never intended to go out with me let alone make good on her representation. I take cash up front, I refuse to accept checks, and I ask questions. I look with my own eyes, educate myself, and do much of the legwork personally not because YOU have burnt me but because I have been burnt. I check to see if the deal is loaded. What will it actually cost me?

Particularly in our modern world, it pays to check for loaded guns. Years ago when a young female friend cut me off because her parents hated her talking to a man more than ten years her senior because we "only want one thing", I told her that she should listen. Although I know I'm different, I know that most people do have ulterior motives, and it's better to be safe than to assume you are the exception. The blade will catch you, the arrow will pierce you, and the stone will break you if they hit you where and when you are vulnerable. Guns do not discriminate. If they are loaded and someone pulls the trigger, they can kill whatever stands in their way. Properly used, guns are a wonderful tool. In the hands of fools, they make only blood in the marketplace. You need not be jaded and cynical as I am, but you need to watch your own back. No matter what others may say, nobody can care as much about your own welfare as you can, and if you're not watching your own back, then it's entirely possible that nobody will.

Misleading Science Data

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I read recently of a pseudoscientific experiment conducted on a college campus concerning how toilet paper dispensers unravel. The "researcher" did a blind test to see if there was a preference for whether the paper was dispensed over the roll or under it. Like many scientific experiments, this experiment included too many variables and lacked a control group for comparison. As is prone to happen in pseudoscientific endeavors, the person making the claims jumped to conclusions without considering other factors. Although interesting, it is hardly conclusive nor useful as a determinent of anything whatsoever besides the fact that toilet paper vanishes from the bathrooms.

Proper scientific studies involving people must inform the people that a scientific study is underway. There were zero signs indicating that our behavior was being studied, but thankfully there were also no cameras mounted in the bathrooms to violate our privacy. Had I known that they were studying something, this would have changed my behavior. If I knew I were studied, I would make sure that my preference were known, that I included all relevant items, and that I made sure that anyone who didn't know was aware that a change might result based on the data collected. Instead, they concluded that we always do exactly what we prefer. As a biochemist, I have taught biology labs, and we discuss altruistic behavior, which illustrates that sometimes people do what is best, even if it's not best for them, however rarely that may occur. Since that happens, it renders the conclusion irrelevant, because at least some people didn't choose always what they personally prefer.

Studies with too many variables often unjustly ascribe outcomes to the variable of interest when it's coincidental instead. The researcher made no mention of the sample size either in terms of users or bathrooms considered and failed to specify the limits besides "my campus". Well, even then, that's hardly telling, because that's not my campus, and the student body will change next year as will the one where I work as well. The researcher did not consider the disparate behavior of custodians, some of whom may have an already biased proclivity to install toilet paper rolls in a certain fashion. Additionally, it assumed that the rolls were used to wipe and not as tissue or stolen for personal home use or used to toilet paper a car, building, office, or person, which is a different set of outcomes altogether. The researcher failed to note whether the dispensors were all installed on the same side of stalls, which might change which roll one chooses due to flexibility rather than preference. Although one could conclude that this served as a benchmark for future studies, because they didn't reduce the variables sufficiently, we cannot conclusively link the outcome to the variable of interest.

Many pathways of both genetics and behavior intersect, but they do not always do so on purpose or for the same reasons. Even people who prefer the same things as you may prefer them for completely different reasons, sometimes reasons you find personally repugnant. Misbegotten conclusions project similar values, actions, and morays onto a diverse group of individuals, particularly when, in this instance, they are not told that their actions are being measured. I do not always choose toilet paper the same way. When I use the restroom, I sometimes notice that rolls offer both under and over paper dispensation. I prefer one, but I usually will take paper from the smaller roll, not because I prefer it, but because I know that the sooner the roll is spent the sooner that custodians will replace it with a fresh one. In this example, my behavior has nothing to do with preference of dispensation but with preference about having more toilet paper available on my next visit. What matters most to me is not how I obtain the paper but that it is there to obtain.

While it may be possible to do this scientifically in a blind study, this study was neither scientific nor conclusive. There was a time when there was no toilet paper at all. Furthermore, not all paper is the same. I will take certain brands over others due to factors more important to me than the manner in which I obtain them. This study presumed that the most important thing to everyone was how the paper came off the roll. How is irrelevant if I can't get it or if I can get it better elsewhere, and let's not forget all the times I enter a stall and change because some nincompoop unirated on the seat. I don't choose those rolls, not because of how they are rolled, but for sanitary reasons instead. Coincidence is not causality. People are claiming that it's false to claim that global warming is a hoax because it's colder this winter than normal when they use the same logic as evidence for it when it's absurdly hot in the summer. So many things they claim to be true simply vanish from the news. Lest we forget, swine flu, SARS and Ebola were supposed to wipe out life as we know it, and none of those are important anymore despite the vast army of scientists working on them. Proper science comes from proper methods. Since men are flawed, I don't expect our methods to ever conclusively answer anything, as if an imperfect thing could perfectly describe anything more complex or perfect than itself.

Enough and to Spare

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For many reasons at Christmas, I think about how much I have, compare it to others and ask myself where I stand. Perhaps this is because Ebenezer Scrooge defines this time of year as a time when you find yourself a year older and not a penny richer. Perhaps it's because we see people milling about the retailers in a frenzied attempt to get that item their kids "must have" but won't care about a few days after Christmas. Perhaps it's because we watch the gladiators at play on sports fields earning millions because they can catch, throw, or hit a ball. Perhaps it's because I'm still at the bottom of my pay scale at work while others climbed higher this year. Perhaps it's really because Christmas is about family, and because I feel that those with good families are the richest among us. Whatever the reason, I think about myself, and I realize things about others.

In truth, I don't actually need more money. You reach a point where after you earn a certain amount you change. For me, this level comes when I earn a certain amount above what I actually need to live, at which point I start frittering it away because I can. There is another professor who takes every class he can and earns almost six figures after his overload, but that's far more than I need if I'm single. Also, if I earn too much more, I get to pay extra income tax penalties because I earn too much for a single guy.

People often opine the fact that educators earn less than entertainers when it's actually quite simple. Nobody would pay to watch a teacher teach or a doctor do actual surgery, so there is no advertising in school or the operating room. Entertainers, whether in sports or in cinema, are paid, not so much for what we see them do, but for what they do for their boss. Essentially, these people are paid a commission on the advertising revenue they generate. The more people watch them, the more advertising they can sell, and the more they can earn. In truth, they get a paltry sum considering how much advertising sells. If nobody watched them, they would be paid about what they're actually worth. True students pay me to teach them, but I don't have a studio audience, I probably will never have one, and that's totally ok with me.

Someone once told me "some people are so poor that all they have is money" and I agree with that. A few weeks ago, my buddy and I were talking, and some other people overheard me saying that money won't make you rich. You can buy company, but you can't buy good company. you can buy pleasure, but you can't buy love. You can buy health care, but you can't buy good health. Money buys many things, but it won't make you happy. It's a means.

Knowing when you have enough and to spare is an important skill that's difficult to acquire. Even I overexerted myself these past few months and hurt my foot working out too much. Other people have 40 scarves or 120 pairs of shoes or so many cars that they need an elevator in their garage. This year, knowing that I earned far more than I need, I actually gave away an entire month's worth of pay to help people I knew. Some of it went out in gifts they needed, and some of it went to paying bills or whatever, but I know that God gives us gifts so that we can help other people. I don't know how to spend more than I need well, and although other people may not use what I give them well either, that's out of my hands. I am thankful that I had a decent year. Maybe next year something will change for the better and be a blessing disguised as a blessing.