Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires

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Today didn't turn out to be the kind of hike I originally anticipated. We got a late start as it was, and the park was packed, but I think we arrived right when we needed to be there. It's early in the season, and according to Smokey the Bear we're actually not at big risk for forest fires, but that assumes everything is equal. Everything is not equal, and sometimes I get to do things I never expected.

My buddy Jay and I decided to go up Rocky Gap Road to the escarpment so that we could fire some guns and try out my new .44 Mag. We like this trail because it's actually a steep ascent and 12 miles round trip through the back country without a lot of other people around. We saw one group coming down, and they only went about 2.5 miles to what they called "the waterfalls" which is a spring that's getting overexposed to hikers. We passed everyone else, only to be first to arrive on scene of a forest fire in the making.

Despite prohibitions to the contrary, there is a campsite just a short way up Rocky Gap Road. There are actually several, but this is the first one and the easiest defined. Shortly before we arrived, we could smell the distinct odor of burning pine sap on the wind, which told us the fire was strong. At the site, there were visible flames coming from a completely unattended fire pit. I urinated on the fire, and we poured what water we had on it, and then we threw dirt all over it to try to smother the flames, but it continued to smolder. We couldn't tell if any of it had spread, and so we did what it took to call in the fire.

Paradoxically, smart phones have no reception when you need them the most. Also, nobody we met seemed to take it seriously enough to actually act. So, we got to the ranger station to report the fire and gave details and request assistance. By that time, over ninety minutes had passed. Before too long, we saw a firefighter plane flying into the canyon, and I assume they found the fire and doused it sufficiently. We aborted our hike in order to make sure we could hike again. Two summers ago, a fire at Mt. Charleston put several trails out of commission, and rather than not be able to hike for a while, we decided to call it off today.

As we drove away from a personally disappointing day, I remembered the words of Smokey the Bear, that only I can prevent forest fires. Far too many of them are started by people. Far too few of them are fought by people who can and will act. Far too often, too few hear and heed the call to serve, to act. Jay and I were not prepared for this level of effort. We did what we could, and then we called in the professionals to finish the job for us. It's kind of above my pay grade, but we did something about it rather than talk. That's probably the story of my life.

I act all the time, and I do the best I can. When fires pop up in my life, I do what I can to stop them. When I can, I nurture the things around me that can grow. Like the fire, sometimes things are beyond my ability, beyond my skills, beyond my power, and beyond my comprehension. I trust that by calling in help, by appealing to God, that the best things will happen. I'm kind of still waiting to see what will happen. I'm assuming the fire at Red Rock is out. I hope God will come to rescue me as quickly as those people responded to my call for help.

America Has Always Venerated Women

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There's a movement afoot to replace Alexander Hamilton on the $10 bill with a woman. I'm not a big fan of Hamilton. I think it's ironic that liberals want to replace him since he's one of the most liberal historical people honored on our specie, but I digress. The movement is a canard. They have dressed it up as "the first time a woman will be honored on American currency". Well, that's not true. Like most journalists, this author seems to have researched only during her lifetime, as if the past doesn't matter, as if facts don't matter, ignoring everything except what lies immediately in front of her. The truth is more complicated. Thank God I earned the Coin Collecting and Stamp Collecting Merit Badges as a scout.

Lady Liberty features prominently on old American currency. Although the woman depicted as Lady Liberty is actually French, as early as the dawn of the Constitutional Republic, she featured prominently on our coins. I have a penny from 1804 with Lady Liberty on the obverse. She appears on the Morgan Dollar, the Liberty Dollar, the liberty quarter, and several other coins of historical relevance.

After reading this article late last night, I tore open my own collection, something I haven't done for over five years. I found a $1 silver certificate featuring Lady Liberty on the obverse and Martha and George Washington on the reverse. I also found a $5 silver certificate with an indian chief on it, but we also had indian head pennies, buffalo nickels, and the like. It is simply not true that we only put fat, rich, white people on our currency. Lest we forget, we've already had the Susan B Anthony and Sacajawea dollar coins, which went over so well they were quickly discontinued. Yet, those women are proposed again to replace Hamilton.

The people selected for this honor are of dubious value. In addition to the aforementioned redundancies of restoring Anthony and Sacajawea to a paper bill, the list contains people I would not consider. Why not Betsy Ross? Why not Martha Washington? Why not Florence Nightinggale? The choices on our current bills make sense. They are all people incidental to the Civil War and the Revolution, without which all the other events of American history are footnotes to footnotes. Yet, the list includes many women of whom I have never heard, mostly hat tips to civil rights. Again, without these hated white men, there would be no civil rights for anyone, particularly women. Yet, the article oozes with vitriol towards men, and while I don't care much for Hamilton, this is just another emotional plea.

People behind this movement want you to think that we do not respect, laud and honor women in America. Hogwash. I honor my mother, my grandmother, my sister, and other women constantly on this blog. Historically in our paintings and portraiture, in our currency and our calendars, we have depicted great women. That these women didn't champion suffrage for women isn't a sin against them, and some of these suffrage people and civil rights icons were miscreants and malcontents. However, for the emotional and irrational left, the ends always justify the means. That's dangerous, deadly, and defeating.

Books and Covers

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One morning several years back while running, I came across a stack of old looking books lying in the street in the rain. I love books, and so I decided since I was about a half mile or so from home to pick them up and take them with me. As luck would have it, I looked through the books when I got them home, and amongst the lot was an original copy of the Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin. I see things discarded by the roadside all the time. One year for Christmas, my dad jokingly suggested giving me a bumper sticker for my Saturn that says "This is not a abandoned vehicle". It creates an interesting impression, but I know that if I assume things left out by the roadside in the rain are trash I might miss out on a chance at something very valuable.

They say that nothing can compensate for a first impression, which bodes poorly for me. From my beard to my honest expressions of what I think to my 20 year old car, I don't tend to give a good first impression. Ironically, if I were to reciprocate what they claim applies to me, I would probably not have many friends. You see, if I were to restrict myself to people who were like me, I'd be lonely. Yes, I proceed with caution, but I was taught that it's what on the inside that counts. Now that I'm an adult, I'm disappointed to discover that all too often the opposite is true.

Sometimes people have preconceived opinions of you without ever having met you. When I transferred between campus locations, the secretary told me how happy she was that she waited to form an opinion about me until she met me. Apparently, there were all sorts of things going around about me prior to my transfer, which mostly amounted to negative denotations of the fact that I'm cavalier and a crusader. When students come into the classroom, mostly they know about my online ratings, and I'm sure some people chose the other instructor because he gets better marks.

Sometimes we don't know we're giving an impression. People tell me to dress like I'm going to run into the love of my life all the time, but I dress appropriately to the situation. When I work on my yard, I wear old clothes and boots; when I teach class I wear a suit; when I hike, I look like a homeless man. If you walk up to me and essentially give me only the next five seconds to impress you, you're going to be disappointed. All too often people put us to tests without telling us. We don't usually know they did it unless we discover that we failed the test. I learned to be me, and I learned that I like who I am, and I'm hoping that my comfort with myself will attract people into my life who are comfortable with themselves and comfortable with me.

Sometimes we make a mistake in the conclusions we make from impressions we get. Years ago, a coworker confessed how glad she was that work forced her to get to know me, because if not she would have never gotten to know me and felt that would be a shame. I even have a student this term that I misread. I thought she was a flighty, floosy girl, but it turns out she's one of the smartest students in this section. I told her I misjudged it because of her age and the way she speaks, and I felt bad. I know better than anyone else that the beard is not the man, that the clothes are not the man, that the Saturn is not the man. Many a player dresses in fanciful duds, and many a player chooses a car to impress. Anyone can buy a fancy car; not many people can keep a car running.

All too often we judge books by their covers. We choose our chocolates based on their content, but we choose our mates based on their colorful candy shell. I actually gave JK Rowling a try, not because her books hooked me, but because my family liked them. Normally, after 50 pages of asinine scribblings, I would have tossed her books aside as the drivel I considered them to be. Not all the books you find soaking in the gutter are worth keeping. Not all the things on craigslist are worth picking up even if they are free. Not every fancy vase is valuable; some of them are fake. There is usually more to the story, and sometimes the rest of the story is amazing and wonderful. Don't act like it's a bad thing to find out more about a person than the first impression provides. I might be that expensive biography you find lying by the road under the weather.

Leaders Who Aren't

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After church last Sunday, I pulled the mens group leader in my congregation aside for an instructional moment. He's several years younger than I and unaware that some of the things he says in sweeping broad strokes come across as uninviting. I explained to him how it made me feel, and he told me that he wasn't going to change the way he talked to make me feel better. I told him thanks for letting me know where I stand and walked away. I don't know how men like this become leaders, but when he was dismissive and derisive of my concerns, I lost any and all desire for further felicitation with him.

By contrast my new department chair seems to be the perfect choice for a leader. Many professors don't like him because he's a bit too officious for their preference, but I like that because it means I can know where I stand. He's consistent and constant. He looks after the people who take care of the mission as much as he cares about the mission. When I got hurt at work, he simply said, "Do whatever it takes. We want Doug well." He responds to my requests for time off and purchasing and everything else promptly. He's a stark contrast to his predecessors. that doesn't mean things will be better, but it does mean that things will be consistent.

What struck me most about this encounter was how arrogant and condescending the man was. He's a man for whom the ends always seem to justify the means because for him everything is coming up roses. I don't think he will ever struggle for anything, and I'm not sure he isn't being groomed to rise in the ranks of the priesthood irrespective of his flaws. Although I didn't do this to confront him, he took a defensive posture almost immediately and got his dander up at what I said. I've never really felt like he and I had much in common, and now I'm not sure that I care. He's certainly not someone to whom I would turn if I needed help. He's already shown me that he's disinclined to acquiesce to my request.

Far too often, good things unjustly end up in the hands of those who deserve them least. Dishonest men prosper at business; philandering men end up with amazing spouses; abusive men win and keep loyalty; intoxicated men outlive the drugs that should kill them; incontinent men are held in esteem and vaulted above others. I suppose this really stems from the kind of men who aspire to leadership. Good men don't really desire power or wealth, position or fame. The people who seek that seek them whatever the cost and don't care how they get there. If they step on your toes getting there, then so be it. That's not really leadership either, but because they wear the title, sit at the desk, and speak with the power to back up their position, we accept them and follow their lead.

God willing, I will never have this or any other position of responsibility. I'm not one of those who aspires to power. I'm not even comfortable passing judgment on students when I grade exams. What I do know is that most people begin once given the least scintilla of power to exercise unrighteous dominion. They abuse their position and the people over whom they have stewardship. It's a great temptation to favor some and exclude others, but I found out this week that I am not alone. As I said before, I discovered I already earned the esteem of people whose esteem actually should matter to me, and even if I'm never popular or powerful I'll never really be alone. Leadership, now that's lonely. I hope this man's wife and children prove good company.

"Help" From the Neighbors

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When my buddy and I moved dirt into the back yard as phase III of my backyard overhaul, a stranger approached us with an interest in helping. He purported to be a neighbor, and I assumed foolishly that he meant to help in the neighborly way like my ancestors did, banding together to raise the barn. He had an ulterior motive, and so when I ran into him last night again trying to use the same sob story, I told him to move along and sell his snake oil elsewhere. You see, I don't need that kind of help from the neighbors, and I dont' need that kind of neighbors, and the more we tolerate this kind of behavior the more it persists.

The man first approached us after three hours of shoveling and offered his "help". He proceeded to toot his own horn and take credit for the acceleration in our progress. While it was invigorating to have a fresh pair of hands and an energetic attitude, it was inaccurate and unfair for him to take credit for our progress. We were making good time considering that we are only two, and all he did was shovel. Jay and I did all of the moving and dumping, and so it's easy for him to talk big. In all he and I walked nine miles hauling dirt in wheelbarrows back to the yard. I should have become skeptical earlier than I did. He claimed to be a new neighbor, but I asked Jay how it was possible for him to live in my neighborhood but not have a job. He claimed to be an amazing construction worker, but if that's true, he could do far better actually having a regular job than coming over hoping for some crumbs. I am normally wary and cynical, and I should have known better than to think any neighbor would come over and help me out of the goodness of his heart.

He had a lot of nerve when we finished. Aside from taking credit for helping us get the work done in only one more hour than when he arrived, he presumed to deserve a reward for his work. He gave me a sob story about needing money for his new baby, and when I told him I had no cash, he brazenly suggested I take him to an ATM to get some. Apparently he's done this before. Often. Since he did work hard and saved me the effort of doing longer work after Jay left, I decided to pay him. Little did I know that he would ask me for a whopping $80. I should have told him to get out right then and there. I did tell him that when he arrived there was no contract and as such I was not obligated to give him anything. I told him that as far as I know, he was just helping, since he never asked for any money until it was over. If he had, I would have told him to move along, because I can handle it without paying him that exorbitant sum. Since he did help out, I chose to give him money because it let me take the rest of the day off. I told him: "I don't mean to be rude. I didn't tell you to have a child, and I certainly didn't have any of the fun involved in making your daughter, so I don't see where it's my responsibility to provide for her." At this point, I think he stopped expecting anything from me because he didn't press the issue when I let him out of the car. I suspect that he still slandered me and my demographics after he left for not giving him what he demanded. It wasn't until then when he told me to let him out near an apartment complex where he lived (that's almost a mile from my house) that I fully realized that probably everything he told me was a lie. Trick me once, shame on you; trick me twice, shame on me.

Last night at the grocery store, I saw him again and decided to right my wrong and vent about it here. When he fed me the same sob story about his newborn kid and not being able to afford diapers, I realized he didn't remember me. I reminded him that we had met, that I had already done him a solid, and I told him that if he continued to solicit in our vicinity, I would call the police. I told him if I ever saw him on my street I would call the police. I reminded him that he told me he would come back and work for free before I actually paid him and I had never seen him again. He gave me every reason to detest members of his demographic; he certainly isn't doing his fellows any favors.

That's not the kind of help from the neighbors I expect. I have a neighbor to the south who is passive agressive and reports me to the HOA rather than coming to me directly. However, when I repair what irks him, he doesn't thank me. He finds some other thing about which to complain. I doubt he notices that I fix things. I'm the good neighbor. I noticed that his weeds were already going to seed, and since I was weeding mine, I weeded his side yard too. I know that if I let it go, the seeds will establish more weeds in my yard, and since I'm already out there, it takes little extra time to weed or spray poison on his weeds since he has bare dirt. I didn't ask him to pay me my hourly wage as compensation or to even replace the weed killer and water I use keeping his side yard clean. That's the neighborly thing to do.

Christ taught me to love my neighbors as myself. I do not think however that if He came or caused one of His children to come to me for help that they would use manipulation, emotional abuse, condescending speech, verbal fisticuffs, or other tools of the adversary to solicit my assistance. I do not think it is love to manipulate people into doing things. I think that's a high form of self-service. I do not think this man was one of those we sometimes entertain who are really angels in disguise. I think he was a charlatain who uses my values to serve his selfish desires. I doubt he has a kid. I hope not. However, I gave him more than I should have so that I could feel better and because he had indeed earned something by his labors. I do not earn $80/hour, and if he's really good enough as he claims to earn that, he should have no problem getting a steady job and living a better standard of living than I do. Since he's in the parking lot, I venture that he's neither a neighbor nor a help to anyone, including himself. That makes me sad.

Rise Up

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Last time my buddy and I went hiking, we spent some time just after we got out of the car trying to identify a strange noise. It was a busy day at Red Rock NCA, and the rocks near us were covered with teenagers involved in rock climbing and repelling. Eventually, we found the source of the noise, which was a small drone hovering above the picnic area recording footage of the teenagers. Jay turned to me and commented on the fact that it took us longer than we like to admit to scan an area besides the area all around us.

Most people think two dimensionally in a world with more than that. We look all around, but we do not usually look up. This same flaw enabled Captain Kirk to defeat Khan in Star Trek II when he started fighting in three dimensions. We sometimes get caught up in that to which we become accustomed. We get so used to "looking both ways before we cross the street" that we don't look anywhere else. Just this week, while I was walking and deep in thought, I almost smacked my head on a street sign low enough to hit me but high enough that it wasn't in my normal field of vision. So much lies outside of our normal perceptive range. When we look for answers or solutions or help, we are prone to do what comes easy. You see, it takes work, HARD work, to ascend to a higher plane of existence, but many things can only be properly viewed when we look at them from above.

When trouble comes, we turn to friends, to loan sharks, or to government. We read books, try pills, change our diets, and hire professional help. All of these efforts confine themselves to the plane of existence in which we reside. Rarely do we look up, and when we do, it's often without penitence, humility, and submissiveness. When we look up, we try to boss God around, as if we can see or understand what will really help us. Only from His lofty, vaulted, and exalted perspective can our circumstances really make sense, and only from that vantage point can we understand why the path along which He directs us leads to peace, safety, and happiness.

Many years ago while still in college, I had an experience where I got to be that perspective. A few of us went to a corn maze in the fall, and some of our number got disoriented in the maze. To help them get free, my date and I went up on one of the observation decks and shouted directions to them. I guess we were lucky that they trusted us, because they followed our commands and got free of the maze. All too often, we do not trust God and insist on our way right away, keeping ourselves in a lost and fallen and disoriented state.

Now we have a world where people are confused; if you don't believe it, go and watch the news. They use words that do not mean what they think they mean; they have things both ways when it suits them; they call good evil and evil good and think that nothing really matters. Well, even small things matter. No matter how long you look around at your own level, if the help for which you are looking isn't in the same plane of existence, you will never find it. In order for my friend and I to see the drone and satisfy the query of the mind that preoccupied us that morning, we had to look up. That is the message religion teaches. When in doubt, we must look upward. When we fall, we must rise up. If we desire the best things, we must be upstanding. It is not enough for us to walk upright; even monkeys do that. We must walk uprightly. It is no accident that men through all ages have looked up at the sky. They knew there was power there. They knew the answers lay elsewhere, somewhere higher, and when we are abased, God invites us to look on Him and benefit from His wisdom, power, and knowledge.

For the past two years or so, this has been my favorite hymn. I sometimes struggle to be the only one trying to rise up and rise above it, and sometimes I'm not able to be as "up" as I like. However, it reminds me that only when I "have done with lesser things" can I have the better and the best that life has to offer.

50 Shades of Glory

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Part of the campus food service is undergoing renovation, and so the upper muckety mucks on campus allowed some food trucks to come supplement food choices. One of these is called "50 Shades of Green" and offers all sorts of vegetarian, natural, and other products at vastly inflated prices. As a byproduct, purposedly I'm sure, this name brings up the movie of similar title in conversation on campus and all of the things associated therewith. The usual suspects on campus began defending both the truck's prices as well as the movie it references because they are "natural". Well, I'm a scientist, and I know that just because it's natural doesn't make it good for you. I'm also a man of faith, and I know that the natural man is an enemy to God. If we don't rise among the animals, we are destined to end up among them.

Proponents of natural foods, vegan diets, alkalarian living, and the like all use the same justification as those who defend smut, violence, and lawlessness. They claim that natural things are perfectly fine and even desireable above all others. Paradoxically, these same people fight against other natural things. They think that carbon dioxide is killing us, when it's essential to plants. They fight against nuclear isotopes as a power source without realizing that it decays all around us anyway and force us all to use CFL bulbs despite the fact that they contain mercury. Apparently mercury is fine in your fixture but not in your fish or your vaccines. They eat "organic" without understanding what that means. They look for real water instead of Living Water and seek solace in sophistry, relying on the philosophies of men mingled with scripture as a magic pill to fix their aberrant and abhorrent behavior. Cyanide, arsenic, and lead are all natural, but to men they mean death. We use acid to digest food, but you can't bathe in it without dying. Natural isn't necessarily good.  One other great paradox of note, it strikes me that many people living as raw foodies and strict vegans look more sickly than those who indulge, and that is telling!

How we use a thing matters more than what we do. In the right way, at the right time, and for the right reason, the things given to us on earth by our Creator exist to exalt and advance us. Used in the wrong way, they can take away hope, opportunities, health, friends, careers, fortunes, and even our lives. CS Lewis wrote that the adversary will encourage us to use things in ways and at times that God forbids. The things advanced by liberals and the "liberated" are usually advanced for any reason imagined whatsoever. They say it's ok to love anyone/anything/anytime, but they will draw a line at defending the unborn or at biblically knowing children. Apparently there is a standard; they just want to be the ones to set it and the freedom to move the goalposts whenever they choose to do something decidedly deviant.

Rather than ask if something is normal, we ought to ask what ought to be. I know far more about what ought to be than what is. Last month, I gave a test, and in that exam we discussed real gases versus ideal gases. All gases are real, but under the right conditions we can manipulate them to behave as if they were ideal. That's the point of guidelines; that's the point of commandments. God isn't interested in cattle; He's trying to make us worthy to be His children. So, He asks us to do the right things the right way at the right time for the right reason. We want what we want, and He asks us to wait until it's right. Then, it will be natural, because we won't desire to do anything that can harm us in any way.

The Story is about the son of King Louis XVI of France. After King Louis was imprisoned and executed, the enemies of the monarchy took it upon themselves to change the heir to the throne to match their depravity. They thought that if they could destroy him morally, he would never realize the great and grand destiny that life had bestowed upon him. They took him to a community far away, exposed the lad to every filthy and vile thing that life could offer, fed him foods of richness intended slake his gluttony. They used vile language around him constantly, kept him in the company of lewd and lusting women, and showed him only cause for distrust. He was surrounded 24 hours a day by everything that could drag the soul of a man as low as one could slip. Months passed. After intensive temptation, they asked why had he not submitted himself to these things designed to provide pleasure, satisfy his lusts, and were desirable; they were all his. The boy said, “I cannot do what you ask for I was born to be a king.” Like Louis' son, we know our heritage. We too were all born to be Kings and Queens.

Movies, foods, and people touch our lives, but we decide what we do with those influences. By choosing the best entertainment, company, and nourishment we can find/afford/attract, we invite God to make the best things of our lives that He can. They say that if you put garbage in, you get garbage out. The same proponents of similar smut and esoteric gobbledygook diets all seem to think that how we achieve something doesn't matter. The ends justify the means; it's only a crime if you get caught; everybody's doing it. I testify that everybody's not doing it. That is a lie told by those who would rather justify mistakes than change behavior. Like attracts like. If you do the best things, you will attract and keep better people. If you spend time with wise, wealthy, well-mannered people, you will become more like them. Human beings have a tendency to make permanent the things they do often. You have the right if you choose to go with the flow and do what comes natural. By doing that, you throw away God's gift to us above all animals- the freedom to rise above instinct, ignore our baser natures, and be what we were born to be. You were born to lead; you were born for glory; you are the son or daughter of a King.

Nothing to Say

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Owing to an incident at work last week, I've spent much of the weekend using my voice as little as possible so that my throat and lungs can recover. I found as I sat at home sleeping, thinking, reading, etc., that I have nothing to say sometimes. I wish I had something interesting, helpful, or profound to communicate, but I don't. For a few days now, I've had nothing to say at all to anyone anywhere about anything, and it hit me yesterday very strongly.

Most of us like to think we have something to add or something to say that will be of use. Maybe that's why so many people talk incessently. For my own part, I grow tired of the talking heads on the news, and I gave up on JK Rowling when she went on and on in the details about a room in the castle so much in Harry Potter that I forgot why we were in the room in the first place. Faith, madam, what is there to say? I don't know if I have anything to add or anything to share or anything to say, and it has been interesting to me to see just how many times I am tempted daily to open my mouth and add something trite or asinine.

I know that I am dumb, for I cannot speak, and I am not sure I am not dumb in every way. They say that we learn things when we young but only understand them as we age. I hope, as many of you can attest, that some things that make no sense now will mean more as I grow older, that as I am given to better understanding based on perspective, experience or inspiration I will understand why so many things vary so much from what I expected them to be. I hope that as I age I will grow wise rather than otherwise and come to understand the things I learn.

Sometimes I wonder why I do any of the things I do myself. Although many people, particularly women, think me a dork/nerd/geek, I have never gone in costume to a renaissance fair, and the last time I wore a costume for Halloween I was 21. I do what I do because I feel like it, because I won't feel like I regret it, and because sometimes the information given makes it seem like a good idea. All I know is that I made many choices based on misinformation, and I've tried the past year or so to inculcate in my students just how important it is to give accurate information, because some of these people will make life and death decisions based on what my students say in their professions of choice. I guess I do what I do because nobody else will, because nobody else wants to, and because nobody else will sacrifice what they have to do what they ought. This doesn't mean that I like it any more than they do. It just means I have no excuse.

As you know, one of my literary heroes is Don Quixote. My parents exposed me to great movies and great literature as a child, and I took these exemplars seriously. They're fictitious, and so their stories differ greatly from mine, but I do draw inspiration from their stories.

I am a knight. I have a quest. I made a choice to march into hell for a heavenly cause, and I know that I'll be bruised, torn and tattered with scars of all kinds as a consequence. My life philosophy can be summed up mostly in that clip from Man of La Mancha. There is nothing more to say about myself or to you if you know that about me. Too few hear and heed the call to lay aside their lives and tilt at windmills. We all think we can talk them down when we are fully cognizant of the fact that such a notion is futile and folly. I have nothing to say, and there is nothing I can say. What evil we cannot resist with our tongues, let us resist with our swords. When there is nothing more to say, the time has come to act.

Out of the Books Written

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It has been said that we will be judged out of the books that are written, and if so, I may end up becoming my own judge, jury, and executioner. Very few people record all of their thoughts, ideas, and actions, and even those who do rarely disseminate them for all the world to see. When that day comes, it will be easy to find examples of things for which to roast and condemn me because for over six years, I've provided you with a steady stream of insights into my psyche through this blog, and so it will be one of the books written. I know that most Christians assume that's the Book of Life or the books the angels keep of our comings and goings. In truth, it won't really be necessary. I know my place. I know my weaknesses. I know I need a Savior.

There is no shortage of information on this blog and on my twitter with which to indemnify me if you so choose. Last night in class one of my students said that it was refreshing to encounter someone open and honest all the time. I told her that I am no more opinionated than other people; I just share mine more freely. I know that I say and do plenty of things that I shouldn't say or do, not because they are not things I ought to say but because they can be used by other people to make my life miserable. I am not certain that my vocational pursuits have not been stonewalled by people I have openly and consistently challenged. I think they use what I do and say against me, but I won't stop. If I stop fighting for truth and right, who will still fight? Last semester, when one of my students had a Dragon Dictate to assist him taking notes because he was deaf, I saw a small portion of the awkward things I say that sound awful without the proper context and without knowing how I actually mean them.

That's where the crux of the matter comes in. Very few people record all of their thoughts, opinions, actions, and conversations, and even fewer do so both accurately and completely. When someone decides to quote me, I sometimes think, "Oh great! They'll report half of what I say without the other half to give it context." We cannot judge people JUST on the books that are written because the books don't always give us context. We don't know why people do or say what they do. Only God knows the thoughts and intents of our hearts, and only He knows what was going on in our lives when we said and did what we do. For this reason, only He sits in a position to judge righteous and accurate judgement.

I am an ordinary man with lofty ideals, goals, and aspirations. I dare do all that may become a man; who dares more is none. Sometimes I wonder if it was wise to share what I share, to admit what I admit, to say what I say, to do what I do, and to be what I am. However, I also know that some day you may all know anyway. At least this way, I told you about it myself. For better or worse, I am me, and if I'm going to be damned anyway, I will be damned for who I really am, what I really feel and think, what I actually say. You do not need to misquote me or take things out of context. Unlike most of those who are criticized, I supply you regularly with plenty of material with which to convict, condemn, criticize, condescend, and otherwise excoriate me for my weaknesses. Unlike most of those people, I don't earn a dime doing this. I do this because I hope maybe it will help you, to see someone try, to see what I do when I fall, and to watch me rise and rise again until lambs become lions. Maybe you won't feel lost like I do. Earlier this week, I received an anonymous comment from someone who asked not to be published. However, they pointed out that my "posts vibrate with honesty and introspection". I take that as high praise and encouragement to continue on, knowing that somehow this cracked pot waters by the way where others won't go and reaches people God can't reach any other way.

Moreover, I am in good company. The prophet Elijah prayed to God one day and said, "It is enough now, o Lord, take thou I pray thee my life, for I am not better than my fathers." He felt himself a failure. He was acutely aware of his own humanity. He is the prophet I am most interested to meet, because I empathize with him the most. Remember that you are human too. Remember not to condemn me for failure to perfectly live ideals you won't even attempt. And if you do attempt them, remember that everyone needs the Savior. That's the most important thing we can learn from all the books ever written.

Guns on Campus

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For the third time in I think as many years, a member of the NV legislature proposed a bill to allow guns on campus. In recognition of the slaughters seen on other campi where gunmen went unopposed until police arrived and in concordance with the history of Nevada as a gunslinging state, there are many who believe this would help our students. The administration of Nevada System of Higher Education disagrees, but their arguments evince first off an ignorance of the legislation and secondly a disaffection for the students. What exactly is their better plan? I just see nay-sayers, and that inaction helps only criminals. If they have a better plan, let's hear it.

Several years ago, when they first defeated this measure, they forced us all to take an active shooter course that essentially taught us to duck, hide, and hope we don't get shot. As a chemistry professor, I have access to things that I can use in the case of an active shooter, but I don't see the administration taking action to protect students. We have campus cops, but they seem more interested driving around in the parking lot scanning license plates for putative registration and insurance issues or giving speeding tickets than in protecting students. I had a student last term who was worried about a stalker. I looked out for her. They didn't do anything visible. Security patrols the halls, but they're sometimes just students on work study. I see the cops near their office. Meanwhile students are shot, raped, and the like without anything special being done to protect them. We have lights, we have panic call buttons, but the cops don't seem to be seen when I expect them to watch out for my kids.

We already have guns on campus. Some students carry against the law, particularly the ones who are criminals. Some of the campi in Nevada are in lousy parts of town, close to dangerous neighborhoods and exposed to the seedier parts of society. As in most historical crimes, the criminals ignore the laws, get guns anyway, and it's the innocents who suffer. The NSHE opposition centers around stupid ideas. The proposed bill calls to allow students and teachers with conceal-carry permits to carry guns. The NSHE worries about people, particularly children, seeing guns. How will they see concealed guns? Once again, they deploy an emotional argument about a putative eventuality while ignoring what is already happening. Wouldn't it traumatize a child more to see people gunned down around them? NSHE worries about identifying the wheat from the tares. They don't seem to consider that we would have to register with the campus as a gun-carrying person anyway. If the cops spent as much time walking the campus as they do glaring at us from outside their office, maybe they'd know who the good guys were when the bullets start to fly. NSHE has a weak argument, but they are crazy if they think we in academia are so stupid to just regurgitate their talking points to the legislative subcommittee.

At the end of the day, I care about my students more than I care about the college president, the board of regents, the campus police, or their asinine objections. Without students, all of those people are irrelevant. If there's a shooting, the students will go elsewhere. We have convoluted building layouts without much thought for egress for any kind of disaster. It's like they assume nothing bad happens in Nevada. Well, if there is a shooting in Vegas, it will NOT stay in Vegas. During the first night of lab, I explain to my students how to get out iff there's an active shooter, and then I tell them not to look back for me. I'll be keeping him busy. He'll regret coming into my lab, and I'll be damned if he takes any of my students from me.

Honestly, I don't know if this bill is the right call, but I do know that they're doing nothing of which I am aware to empower students to help themselves. This is a stupid time to finally decide to quote the hippocratic oath and "first do no harm" when the media makes it sound like there are campus shootings every day. Moreso, I think this is just another move they must make to stop people from carrying guns. Democrats say "if it would save one child" they will do it, but they're out there stonewalling this. What I do know is that only one thing usually happens when people without guns stand up to people with them. Just this evening, my dad and I talked about how having any gun can be a crime deterrent, and right now criminals of all stripes know that the students don't have guns and that when they leave campus the campus police won't give them a second glance. I don't have nitric acid off campus or anything to help them, but imagine if they knew some of the faculty were armed. They won't know which ones, but the campus police and metro police will. Suddenly NSHE opposition seems silly. Something needs to be done. Until the Democrats finally stop crime, I don't understand why they want to stop us from resisting it. That's the western way.