For the past several months, since about the time my parents' beagle Yoda died, I've been watching a lot of MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way) videos. Of late, God warned me of the philosophies of men mingled with scripture that make this appealing but damaging to good men. It appeals to me, because I empathize with the stories and appreciate the perspective. I also fear that there is a danger in the attitudes men take as a consequence of going MGTOW towards women and towards the future outcomes of their own lives. I worry about the reactions, and I worry that I almost got swept up in the essentially religious fervor with which these advocates preach if not for God's timely warning. It's actually a form in some way of hate speech, albeit clandestinely. Men like George Adams and Richard Cooper may not know this, but what they preach is actually a form of hate speech because it foments enmity between men and women. As I thought about my own decisions, my own way if you will, I came across this mean-spirited video which prompted me to write the following response:
My first reaction, which is still a true thing I feel, is that your video makes me feel a lot less cynical and bitter than I thought I was. I mean, you really could just distill all your coaching down to "ignore women unless you want to hit them and quit them". There is really no need for anyone to watch any of your other videos, pay you for advice, or listen to anything else you say. After watching five or six, that's the takeaway message I get from your "coaching". If this video truly represents how you feel, then there is no need for any further coaching. That being said, I found the following observations interesting and valuable.1. even though the woman made zero contribution to acquiring or maintaining an asset, or some women make a token contribution, they become entitled to an equal or larger share because their name gets on the paperwork due to "community property". FYI, even if their name doesn't end up on the official paperwork, the courts will consider it joint assets anyway if you get divorced. My wife didn't appear on the house loan documents because her credit was so trashed that if she was on the loan we couldn't get one, but she was entitled to more than half because she didn't have the education/earning potential I did.2. before you commit, the women take an equal interest and sometimes make a fair contribution to entertainment, but after you wed, the onus is entirely on you to keep them entertained, and if you don't they sometimes use that as rationale to justify infidelity because "he just doesn't get me" or "i'm not in love with him anymore" or "there's no spark". You have to do all the work. That's exceptionally astute and incredibly frustrating, because it's true with just about every woman I have ever met. Even my very conservative Scottish paternal grandmother told me once shortly before she died that the young women she knew were "dingbats looking for deadbeats who only wanted to be continuously entertained". That was an interesting visit.3. the courts do seem to leverage against men to take whatever they have in an effort to countermand her insult with your security. Yes, many women like to use that against you to their own advancement. Isn't that a human thing to do? Don't most people take advantage of opportunities? Let's not pretend that most of the men considering your advice are the moral authority.Who hurt you so badly? I guess either my experiences weren't that bad or that I've healed more than I thought.You present yourself as a coach, someone in a better place who can lift me up, but I don't think you really are either in a better place or capable of elevating the men to whom your videos are ostensibly addressed. I get the impression that you view women as chattel with which to slake your lusts and that you use the MGTOW empowerment movement in order to "clothe your naked villainy in odd old ends stolen forth from holy writ and seem a saint when most you play the devil". There is a real danger inherent in this kind of attitude towards women that you espouse. This is some serious He-Man Woman Haters Club stuff you're preaching. It does not behoove us to give men the impression that all women are and always will be unworthy, that the only thing for which they are useful is the satiation of biological urges. How would you like another man to think of your mother, your sister, your daughter that way? Do you seriously want us to think that if I pumped and dumped your daughter you'd give me a high five and send me on my way? I see a very real danger that this kind of MGTOW advice runs the risk of converting men into Edmund Dantes of Monte Cristo fame, where our every effort drives at revenge (or pleasure in this case) to the detriment of our own opportunities. That countermands the civil society for which you claim to yearn. Many of the women you decry rationalize their own miscreant mistreatment of men based on the notion that "all men are the same/only want one thing" and then you seem to advocate becoming the very men they despise. They look down on us because enough men give them reason to, and they consider all men guilty by association. Yet, that's the very thing you're encouraging reciprocally to women. As Dantes was told, "do not commit the crime for which you now serve the sentence". Do not earn their vitriol or encourage other men to do so. You can go your own way without despising, denigrating, and abusing women because of a perceived slight or a putative one. You don't have to treat them like a means to your own pleasure. You can simply ignore them and go your own way without them. That's what I've been doing since 2013, and I work in academia, where a constant hit parade of young, vivacious women crosses my path each term, where the next group is as equally attractive but also equally clueless as the last, and even though I know they won't make an even passing partner for me, I don't have to treat them like they are scum on the bottom of my shoe. You can be a gentleman, chivalrous, and neighborly to women. In fact, it's fun sometimes to be kind to or compliment them without an ulterior motive because they expect to be able to slap me down when I hit on them, but I don't. Just because most women have done wrong by you does not mean that all women will. Continuing to think that will both invite and justify the ire of women towards men. Even sour grapes make better wine than no grapes at all. Maybe it's time to think of something we could do to earn their respect and veneration even if they withhold it.
This Greg Adams guy is very angry and very self-centered. Too many people in the MGTOW movement seem to have flipped 180 degrees from caring about others to only caring about themselves, which is precisely what the devil would desire. Satan wants each man preoccupied with himself; Christ wants each man to think about his neighbor. To achieve this, satan redefined family, discouraged marriage, and now he's trying to stop men from caring about women one whit. Now, I have my own problems, but this is serious, and it's dangerous, because it puts men and women at odds, such that MGTOW men are encouraged to actively engage in hostile behavior towards women. How will we get good marriages, families, and societies, if men subscribe to the notions Adams espouses? This is a form of priestcraft, and he's having success and making money so much that he really believes now that it can and will lead to a better world. It won't. I thought of Nehor and Korihor who taught the people what was pleasing to the carnal mind. I mean, there is truth in what Adams says. There is also sophistry. This is a popular movement, and it's extremely profitable. The men earn significant amounts of money. As they have success/validation, it makes their ideas seem true. However, even though they contain some truths, they also preach adultery, fornication, and suppression of women, which are expressly repugnant in the eyes of God.
Civilization relies on good men. Back in 2009, a student told me that even if I had no children, I needed to pass on what I was because the world needed men like me. I suspect that civilization persists as long as certain groups of men exist, from each of which I know representatives. The first bailiwick is men who won't copulate with women they don't actually know. The second is men who won't copulate with women they don't actually love. The third is men who won't copulate with women they did not marry first. As long as a sufficient number of that type of men exist, civilization prevails. However, many MGTOW advocates actually advocate licentiousness and lasciviousness, as if an evil attitude can create a virtuous outcome. If men are incentivized and then encouraged to copulate without reservation, civilization cannot persist. Instead, the new norm is that many MGTOW coaches and Pick Up Artists are actually encouraging men to be debauched and debasing, and they are teaching men to simply use women.
Personally, I have been burnt and badly by women. I admittedly spend a lot of time complaining about that treatment and wondering if it's worth my time to pay any attention to women. However, you will not see in any of my ramblings any incentive to or suggestion that men go out and do unto others before they do unto you, to treat women as if they exist for your enjoyment, to treat women as if they are beneath you. I do not believe that this leads to civil society. I do not think this pleases God. He created women too. I am cynical and bitter, but I do not think that an eye for an eye will improve our vision of the future. I don't necessarily need a woman, but I like to look at them, and I would like to have a good woman if I can meet one who is actually interested in me. I won't get one if, in the modern world where you can search the internet, she reads or watches a series of seething posts/videos about how women are at fault for all the crap in my life. Well, I did pick them, and sometimes I wonder at my selection paradigm, but that onus to choose wisely is still mine as well as the consequences when I choose poorly. I'm cautious now, perhaps more than is necessary, and that's where MGTOW and I align. Honestly, I don't like most women, but I have a mother that I love, a sister who is dear, and several precious and thoughtful nieces whom I hope will find good men with whom to build families of their own. Just because I don't expect to find that doesn't mean that I feel justified to go out and lie to women I meet about my motives just to slake my urges or excuse you because you do so or that I'm justified to treat all women as if they hurt me. Women hurt me, but their past is not your future. Civil society is based on healthy families. Healthy families emerge from husband and wife (married) who love one another and are committed to the mutual success of each partner and the family unit they create. A society is only as strong as the families of which it is comprised. Unless the behaviors your espouse incentivize families, you're going to damage the society just as much as other behaviors you may decry. If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
