30 June 2015

Morals, Virtues, and Equality

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There's a lot of self-righteous condemnation of Christians this week, the paradox of which is apparently completely lost on the celebrants. Usually, when someone says someone else is judgmental they are projecting. It's extremely difficult and demanding to stick to a high moral standard, so much so that very few people accomplish it if any. By the same token, it's easy to go with the flow, follow the lowest common denominator and do whatever you like whenever you like for whatever reason seems good. Low moral standards are easy to keep because they do not demand much, but that doesn't make them good standards. Those same people often declare that people who aspire to higher moral standards "think they are better" when that isn't the case of people who really mean it. If I insisted on being friends only with people who shared my morals and virtues, I probably wouldn't have any friends at all, even in my own Faith. I am the one who has friends from all walks. I am the one who is tolerant. They demand that I abandon my morals and embrace theirs, or else they declare me a bigot and abandon me. We are different. We have different views of the world. We are not compatible.

Perhaps the saddest fruit of this difference of opinion plays out in interpersonal relationships. My late friend years ago once told me that I would be perfect for her except for my moral standards. Whose morals am I supposed to follow? I became the person I am because I live what I believe, as close as any man can. If I changed to please the jury, I would become someone else, and then they wouldn't like me. The sad paradox is that people who find themselves drawn to me like me because of my morals and then leave me when they discover what those morals are (or how I attained to them). They don't like other people because of disparate morals, but they think that they can find a good relationship, however platonic, by encouraging another person to step down from his morals to join them in theirs. Morals, virtues, and equality mean very different things from what most people take them to mean, but they make us who we are and they shape the world view we have. Ultimately they dictate our interactions with others, and so it's important to differentiate properly what they mean and what consequences they have on human action.

Morality is quite simply an individual's standard of what differentiates right from wrong. It encompasses the things that one finds acceptable, tolerable, and amiable. A moral standard makes us what we are. Our character, disposition, discipline, and confidence are linked to our morals. This is more than what we do; it's what we really are. Someone said we have three faces- the one we show the world, the one we show our friends, and the one we keep hidden from everyone. The hidden one is what you truly believe as morality. It's what you believe, what you think the world and life and words actually mean. It dictates how you treat people including yourself. As your knowledge, opinions, and judgments mature, morals lead to ethics, feelings, the contemplations that lead you to act.

Everyone has their own unique morality because everyone lives a different life. In order to share perfectly the same things in the same order, we would first need to experience the same things and then react to them the same way. We can share morals with others who arrived at them via other paths. Most lasting relationships rely on similar principles of right and wrong. The more compatible you are, the more you will bond together in joint ventures, particularly of social consequence. Adam Smith spoke of this as the highest form of friendship, friendship for similar virtues (Theory of Moral Sentiments). In "Human Action", Ludwig von Mises explains why people choose different things, because they value different ends. We essentially value things as better for us to be right, and our understanding of right varies with our understanding of our relative value to and position in the cosmos. For this reason, most modern moralists tend to be people of faith, because most religions strive to nurture the innate sense of right and wrong with which we are born and keep it consistent with a particular view of human existence. It's not limited to religions. Even Marcus Aurelius admonished men to live well, according to the best standard of which they are capable, whether there is a god or not. That tends to civilized society.

Members of civil society differ in their morality. Since we do not share perspective on what constitutes the best and highest choice, we experience "wonderful contentions" with one another. The most common consequence of this variance is that people are judgmental, arrogant, and self righteous. We consider only the best parts of our morality and paint the morality of other people in charicature. We mock them because we disagree with them, because we don't understand them, and sometimes because we discord with them. Usually this comes from enmity, a sense of competition. It is not supposed to be a fruit of Christian living, but many "Christians" practice it too. More often than not, however, Christians are the targets of slander, ridicule, and condescension because they declare their standard. Since we strive for a better way, we always fall short, which invites the judgment of others. Beware the temptation to judge me for an inability to perfectly live a standard you won't even attempt. Just because you don't share my morality doesn't mean you get to mock me for it. It's easy to do whatever. It's hard to stick to principles.

Most of the people who mock you are confusing virtues and morals. I have different morals than you do. In your argument, you think I should live as you do when my idea of morality differs from you. We have different morals. You can have the same morals and have different virtues, but having the same values doesn't mean we share morals. Unless I believe what you believe, that makes me a bigot? If you can't be impartial, you drag morality into your arguments. I am impartial. I don't care until they bring it up.

Members of civil society also differ in their virtues. Your virtues are what you do about your morals. Virtues are manifest in our daily actions. They arise usually from our morals, or in other words what we do results from what we are. A life that confirms to moral principles manifests its virtues in how one conducts oneself. A man of virtue voluntarily conforms his life and conduct to principles of moral law, standards of right conduct, however inexpertly. In modernity, this appears to be rare. Virtues are the means to our ends. They represent how we do things. How we do a thing, why we do a thing (morality), matters at least as much as what we do.

Jesus warned us of doing without being. He taught that a man who gives a gift grudgingly is treated by the universe as if he retained the gift. He also taught that people who love God will live similar lives, because they will keep His commandments. For this reason, a moral man rejects the notion that the ends justify the means. Different means may share the same ends, but only if they share the same view of the ends. Two people can have the same virtues with different morals, but they cannot have different virtues if they share morals.

People who do not share your morals will attack you for resisting their virtues. Mostly, this comes because they see virtues in themselves that do not really exist. Disagreeing with you doesn't make me a bigot. It means I have different morality than you. Calling me a bigot makes you a bigot. Don't confuse virtues and morals. Virtues are the exercise of morals. Don't force me to exercise your morality. Don't force me to act as you do, particularly if I think those actions do not lead to the same ends or for the same reasons. There is no virtue in using the adversary's methods to achieve the Father's plan. Why should I conform to the morals of other people? I don't hold other people to mine. Please don't obligate me to yours.

Over twenty years ago, I was introduced to a psychological exercise on the powers of negative peer pressure. In a particular religion class, one teacher had the great convenience to have all of the power players in the high school, the people like whom all the other students aspired to be as his students. These included for example the varsity football captain, the head cheerleader, the student body president, and the eventual valedictorian. The teacher drew four symbols on the board: circle, star, oval, and square and gave the students specific instruction. He then invited another teacher to send over one of his freshman.

The freshman timidly knocked and entered the room. The teacher invited him to occupy a single vacant seat at the head of the class in the front row. The freshman could not believe himself when he discovered himself in a class with all the most prominent members of his high school. Even more amazing, they accepted him as one of their own, inviting him to sit with them, joking and laughing with him, and making him feel quite at home.

Then the teacher began the test. He turned to the varsity football captain and asked him to help with a visual experiment and to describe the four objects on the board. He began naming them, according to the instructions: "circle, star, oval, triangle". The freshman, who couldn't believe someone he so admired could have made such an obvious mistake, laughed aloud. Quickly, he noticed he was the only one laughing, and the students turned to him with that look of disdain that only seniors can muster towards freshman. He slunk a little in his chair.

The teacher continued. Each of the others in the front row continued to name the objects "circle, star, oval, triangle", and every time, the freshman sank lower in his chair. Beads of sweat formed on his brow. He knew as he looked around that soon the time would be his to go through the exercise and he was nervous.

At length, it was his turn. Everyone's eyes were upon him. Tepidly, he began, each word phrased as if it were a question.

"Circle?" he began.
"Good..." said the teacher.
"Uh, star?"
Silence. You could have heard a pin drop.
"...er...oval..."

At this point, the freshman paused and looked around. He knew that it was a square. Would his admiration for all of these power players corrupt his judgment of what he knew? One of the others in the class prodded him, "What's the last one?" The time for decision had come.

We live in a world full of negative peer pressure. There are people all around you who will try to convince you that good is evil and evil good. They will try to get you to join in with them to justify their aberrant and abhorrent behaviors and beliefs. They are looking for people to bring down, and if they can get you to join in with them, they will use it to rationalize themselves. Remember that not everyone is doing it.

We differ in our morality. We cannot see eye to eye, because you have a different idea of what constitutes right and wrong. I will not call a square a triangle in order to conform or survive. They say they won't force it on us. However, someone will. Daniel Webster warned of those who mean well, because even if they mean to rule well, they do mean to rule. The road to hell is paved with good intentions. The next push will be to punish people who do not share the virtues they espouse, to claim that we reject equality, equity. They will say you do not love people, society, justice, truth, etc., but they will never bother to define those things. You probably don't define them the same way.  You will become the problem.  You will be the bigot.

True equality requires impartiality. These people cannot be impartial and claim it's about equality because they are emotionally involved in a particular outcome. Aristotle wrote that "the law is reason free from passion". This is why Lady Justice is blind, so that she can look without an air of subjectivity. This is why an impartial third party (a judge) is supposed to look at it, because presumably he doesn't really care emotionally how it goes. This is why we hire a lawyer to represent us because, although he has a vested interest in the outcome sometimes, he has already been paid on retainer no matter the outcome, so he can be objective to balance out our emotional attachment to the subject. That is not what usually happens. Usually, we get activism. Far too many people become lawyers to "right wrongs" which is emotive, and then they become judges with an agenda, activist judges who play their bias on plaintiff and respondent alike.

Solomon shows us true objectivity. When two women bring a baby before him because one of them claims erroneously that it belongs to her, he displays equality and justice. Since he has no emotional involvement in the matter, he can truly be objective. He does not personally care what happens. However, he knows how to tell who does have an emotional involvement, which is revealed when a truly equitable and just outcome is proposed. Rather than allow Solomon to cut the baby in half, thereby giving both of them half the child in question (equality) and rendering them both childless (justice), one mother who is emotionally involved rejects the offer to save the child (activism), and Solomon knows who the mother really is. The mother is not rational or objective; she is incapable of being so because she is emotionally attached to the outcome.

Impartial people reprove with equity because to them the matter is of no lasting moment. Those who clamour for justice in the streets are usually partisans. They argue until they get what they want. Notice that Christians do not usually riot in the streets when they do not get their way. Civilization does not exist to validate your worth, particularly if you do not share the morals and virtues of the civilization you inhabit. Rather than change that civilization in the name of "equality" better you join one that already shares your views. You only really truly believe in a cause when you protest and plea on behalf of people you do not know and in particular those you do not like. If you can fight for justice and equality for your enemies, you are exercising ration and logic; if it's only for your pet cause, it's activism and emotion, and those do not lead to equity, equality, or justice.

Cowardice asks the question - is it safe?
Expediency asks the question - is it politic?
Vanity asks the question - is it popular?
But conscience asks the question - is it right?
And there comes a time when one must take a position
that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular;
but one must take it because it is right.
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.


Until and unless you establish an honest, earnest, and accurate definition of morality, your virtues will not lead to justice and equality. They will be partisan efforts, distorted efforts, mutated efforts that will favor a few at the expense of the many. I find it paradoxical that people who claim to be rational and adhere to vulcan philosophy claim they believe the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one until they are the one, or someone to whom they share an emotional connection is the one, at which point they reject their own premise. At some point, you must ask the question of what is right and decide to reject your conscience or follow its direction and correction. I believe that all people, somewhere, however hidden the rudiments of that divine spark may be hidden, knows what matters most, what things really are. I do not believe there are bad men, only deceived men. I think like CS Lewis that if you remove what is good about man, you are not left with a bad man; you will be left with nothing at all. That's the message of the Christ- that men are and can be whatever they like. The challenge for us is to choose morals, to follow the virtues those morals dictate to our conscience, and do what is right at all times, in all things, and in all places, even if it costs us personally.

I know this sounds daunting and possibly impossible, and I will not pretend I practice it perfectly. However, every time I have abandoned my morals, I have been miserable. I keep my morals because they keep me. Eventually every man must face his true face, who he really is, when all the pagentry and prose and poise and pose vanishes and only truth remains. We can pretend all we like and ignore whatever we like for now, but eventually, no matter what you believe, the truth remains. It is like a Lion. It wins. If you would truly have the lion and lamb lie together without ire, then consider how the morals you espouse dictate your interactions with other people, and look in the mirror. If they don't create the world you claim to seek, then don't force me to change. If you don't like the ends, change the means.

26 June 2015

Mind Pollution in Higher Ed

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I have many problems with higher ed, which may seem strange since I work there. I do not think that a college degree is a panacea, especially when my father employs electricians who earn more than I do. College degrees give you options, but all too often the classrooms at these colleges are filled with people of disparate and deprecative ideas. We package our children and send them off to be inculcated, indoctrinated and inoculated with vile and virulent visions rather than the virtues we teach them at home. We even pay huge sums for this privilege. By and large the faculty at most institutions contribute, even if unwittingly, to the degradation of civilization. Although it was not always this way and not all institutions or professors fit this mold, far too many, the lion's share in point of fact, are there because it's a way to validate their views by propagandizing your children to things you probably find detestable.

Many students gravitate to the professors as preferable exemplars of principle and knowledge. Most students resent and reject their parents but will accept the invitation to join the invisible army that constitutes the coalition of the mutable mind. Particularly when these new voices encourage and validate the rebellious ideas of the teenage mind, the students glam onto the counterculture efforts of faculty and concrete their rebellion as they become adults. Even now that I am a professor, I hear about students who love to hang out with that "one cool professor who will go out drinking with us", and I think at least one student last term actually fantasized about and expected that I might invite her over and sleep with her because that's what people in Vegas do. I tell them that if they want validation they need to go to the mall and shop and get the store to stamp their parking stub.

Curriculum celebrates counterculture.

I read rags as a student. We read about licentiousness and lasciviousness. We read about misogyny and misanthropy. We read books that glorified codependency as if it were synonymous with love. We read books that bastardized words to be the worst denotation possible, and they taught us that there was virtue in wickedness, that piracy was the right course. I felt dirty on the inside and out to be forced to critically think about books I am loathe to admit I read and that I would never own. We spoke often of these courses as our forced foray into the Wicked Traditions of our fathers which are not correct. Every student, even those of my own Faith, was forced through these core classes, and some of them were converted by the persistent proselytizing push. I survived the WT core because I went into the course striving to glean something positive from those books. Most students are passive learners, facilitating the efforts of fundamentalist faculty to fill their brains with aberrant and abhorrent imagery.

Students just left high school and continue to live in fear of being different, of being left out, of being seen as having things in common with their stupid parents. They fall victim to a slieu of misanthropic logical fallacies that proclaim that the ends justify the means or that there is no point to life. If it feels good do it. You only live once, so live it up. You're missing out if you don't avail yourself of everyone who offers to put out. Don't be a Puritan. I read Tuesday that a class at UPenn (an ivy league school) entitled "Wasting Time on the Internet" encourages and rewards students for watching porn. What in thunder? How does this make us a better people?

Faculty exalts multiculturalism over virtue

A large preponderance of seminars and continued learning opportunities afforded faculty have to do with encouraging a diverse population of students rather than diversity in thought. Curriculum and syllabi endorse conformity of ideas but variance of background over everything else. Students transfer into my section sometimes because I am literate in English, and I was hired because everyone else to whom they offered the job said no. Before I transferred into chemistry, I was the token white male. It's as if it's better to be diverse than to be virtuous, better to have good demographical statistics than to have good quality students and faculty. To accomplish this, we are surreptitiously encouraged to coddle underperforming students of protected classes even if they are overrepresented. I have been called to account for poor marks when students accuse me of racism. Other professors report that consistency matters most, that students are taught it's never good to be better than others.

They balkanize us so that we're divided and easier to defeat. The Left used to claim they sought a society in which we are judged by the content of our character. Now they draw attention to phenotypical demographics that separate us. Like Voldemort, they know we're less of a threat if we feel like we're alone. In order to accomplish this, they prey upon white guilt, as if any class, particularly the white barbarians of the north, has a monopoly on wickedness when reality shows anything but. Ignoring and ignorant of history, they act as if and talk as if everything evil comes from the Nords, the Germans, and the Celts, and as if everything praiseworthy comes out of Africa and Asia. They look for the bad in mankind expecting to find it, and so they do. In other parts of the human race, they look for the good and invent it when they cannot find it. I thought we were supposed to evaluate people on character rather than melanin, testosterone, linguistics, wealth, etc.

Administrators advocate political correctness

Media, politicians, and the "ignoble intelligent elite" among us deal in distractions. They cry foul about the scandals of the Battle Flag of the Army of Northern Virginia while they ignore members of the Klan in Congress, perverts in the White House, and other criminals in high office. Every week, there is a new sensational story, only to keep us from paying attention to the man behind the curtain, but then when its utility fades, they forget about the Malaysian airliner and all of the other momentary sensations to focus on things that advance their agenda. When you bring any of the pertinent issues to light, they assault your character rather than the argument or topic itself. Just yesterday, I was assaulted with responses to my tweets that accused me of smoking crack, being a bigot, ad infinitum, but none of them pointed me to evidence or counterarguments besides assuming I'm an idiot.

No matter the problem in the world, somehow according to them, it's America's fault. They draw attention to our flaws. Krister Stendahl once said that most people see the virtues in their own opinions and paint their opponents in caricature. This kind of strawman argument paints every member of any group as a miscreant if ever one does anything even remotely bad. Every time there is a shooting, they look for "right wing propaganda" in his belongings. When there is a sexual scandal, they look for evidence of Christianity. When marriages fail, they point out that homosexuals love too. Wednesday's scandal at Cannes must infuriate them that it wasn't a homosexual couple. These efforts are meant to stifle dissent and disagreement, to prevent offense to the offensive. Feelings matter more than truth. They ignore facts and evidence that counter their agenda. They know they are right, and they are not interested in any ideas and opinions unless they echo their own, like the Pope's climate advisor who worships Gaia not God. It calls to mind a scene from a famous movie I have never seen: "You want answers? I want the truth. You can't handle the truth." Rather than justice, injustice is the order of the day. Rather than establishing virtue, they make immoral laws with illogical consequences. Since the law is necessary for justice, they make things lawful as a way to legitimate them and outlaw other things to make them passe. I reject this kind of emotional outcry in the name of the law. Aristotle taught me that the law is reason free from passion. As I've been saying for years, "I don't do P.C. I'm a Mac."

In my teaching, I respected the Old Guard and modeled my teaching style after their example. These were the teachers who, by and large, I respected and from whom I learned and with whom I would deign communicate today. Most of them are gone. In their stead, the new crop of tenured professors come from the counterculture of the 1960s and fit the sobriquet to a "t" that "those who can't, teach". They would fail everywhere else. Here they shine because they have captive audiences who eagerly pay exorbitant sums to participate in the fall of civilized society. A few of us try to pass on what the old guard gave us, but in many cases, we can hardly stem the tide of negative pressure that overturned the equilibrium upholding traditions of civil society. I will probably never be tenured. I will not sell my soul for a job, and I'm ok with that. I will not teach you to think as I do. I will however teach you how to think.

Every semester in my general chemistry courses, I stress the importance of accuracy and precision. You see, people make decisions based on the information that you provide them, and if you do your honest duty to ensure that your data is reliable, you help society advance. Far too many professors want to advance THEIR agenda regardless of its utility, veracity, reliability, or consistency. These spurious characters in higher education pollute the minds of our children with their aberrant and abhorrent ideals, often riddled with licentiousness and lasciviousness. We give the next generation information of questionable veracity and then ask them to build something worthy with subpar materials. Higher Education prepares people for the future. The kind of future being built may vary from the one you think we are building.

23 June 2015

Socks and Freedom

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My parents were less excited than my sister when I gave her a sock at her graduate school hooding ceremony. My sister understood the allusion and exclaimed, "Master has given me a sock! I am free!" Aside from the reference to the world of Rowling, I find that socks mean much more, both in a practical as well as a philosophical way. Socks play a pivotal role in modern society because they hold a special position in many of our activities. This seems coincidental with modern technological and economical advances now that people can clad themselves in what was once reserved only for the rich. Plus, socks help us play, something that frees us from worry, frees us to be a kid, and frees our minds in times of seriousness so we can truly enjoy life.

Socks are a hallmark of convenience and civilization. In times of antiquity, people went barefoot. It is actually relatively recent that hosiery reached beyond the wealthy or the gentry to the rest of the population. Our advances in technology accompanied the progress of hosiery into common use. Even in the civil war, many soldiers marched barefoot. It helps people feel clean, feel complete, and feel rich, because you don't have to wash your feet or worry about them getting as cold. When I fed the homeless with the One Way Riders before NLVPD banned us from the vacant lot where we did this so the owner could build on it (he still hasn't), we used to give out socks. You should see the looks on the faces of homeless people to get a pair of new, clean socks, even if they didn't like the socks.

Socks mean fun. Many of the things we really enjoy are things we do while wearing socks. I've watched my neices run around the house wearing socks having a marvelous time. My dad used to put socks on his ears when playing with us, and I have done that too, because it makes people smile. It doesn't work on Russians, however. As a child, we made sock puppets, and my grandmother made toys by stuffing socks and then sewing faces on them. Socks are for sliding, socks are involved in almost every terrestrial sport involving your foot, and stocking-covered feet sometimes play footsie on cold days while we sip cocoa with someone special to us.

Socks are a practical means by which we free our feet from friction. Blisters, fungus, cracks, etc., are prevented by the use of clean socks. People make fun of me when we hike for adjusting my socks before we start our ascent and for changing them when we get back to the car for a new pair. It helps me feel better after a grueling physical effort. Similarly, at the end of the day when I change my socks, it's one of the greatest feelings ever. In fact, I went out this afternoon for my "emergency socks" in my car, and when I put them on, I felt a new wave of energy. If your socks fit, your feet fit into your shoes, and you take care where you walk, having your feet appropriately shod helps carry you safely and suredly to your destination. I think God gave us socks in modernity so we could "run and not be weary and walk and not faint".

Just as the sock symbolically freed my sister, they continue to free us today. They free us to do things and go places and see things that we couldn't if we had to go barefoot. They free us from worrying about our feet being cold or dirty or cracked or damaged. They free our minds when we make toys out of socks or play games in our stockinged feet. Socks helped men move from the depths of poverty to the heights of civilization to enjoy things most people in antiquity never imagined even knowing. Socks are synonymous with freedom, particularly in a tumultuous time that tasks everyone and threatens fear and loathing on the horizon. Master has given Dobby a sock; Dobby is free.

21 June 2015

Something Missing

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Now that I'm an adult, I find that most things don't really change all that much. Every day has its share of routine, and every year has its share of duty. Every effort bears the fruit it should, and every dream dies in the din of reality. I ask frequently what's missing, what I'm doing wrong, and what I should be doing, and in response I keep feeling that I should keep doing what I'm doing. Other people have other advice, but years ago I trusted inspiration and saw it bear better fruit than I ever imagined, so I go out every day and keep moving forward.

When I was a kid, I really loved the movie Goonies. It was fun, it was clean, it was an adventure, and it was the first real attempt at diversity that actually managed it without seeming contrived. More than that, the characters in that movie were my age, and they were like the people I knew and with whom I was friends. Those kids were the kids I knew in real life, and they had an amazing adventure. At the end, as the treasure of One Eyed Willie sailed away into the horizon, they found the real treasure was their friendship, and they were able to keep those things and have more adventures.

That's what I miss. I miss being able to get together with people I know and like with regularity for adventures. We're all busy now. I have work, and lots of it. They have their families and their significant others to keep them busy. We live in different parts of town doing different things for a living. We're not kids anymore. I was in a hurry to grow up. Now, I feel like I've lost my childhood, and last night, another Fatherhood.gov ad featuring Tom Selleck reminded us that being a good day is about learning to be a kid again. Thanks. It's right though; particularly with Father's Day today, it's true that families with fantastic fathers fare far better. Even if you have one who tries, it's the right thing, and far too many families have absentee fathers but I digress.

Although I've been married before, I only really had one good chance to be a dad, and that marriage was not it. While visiting my brother, I spoke with him about it, about how I knew someone once with whom I could actually envision myself having a family. She's been missing for a long time now, and it sucks. I really do think being an adult would be more fun with children. Children make Christmas magical. Children make it worth paying all that money in property taxes to schools. Children give us reasons to take pictures, to be grateful for a good night's rest, to go revisit things we already know as we share it with them. I know some of my friends don't understand this. Life, at least for me, is about the family I leave behind. Now that I've lost the only person with whom I desired to have a family, life feels hollow. There is definitely something missing.

So, I bring it up here and in prayer all the time, because that's what life means to me. I don't pretend to understand why God keeps this from me. I know that if it were as important to Him as it is to me for me to be a dad, I would be one. Yesterday, when I was on the mountain, the people who made me smile most were the parents there with their kids. How I wish I were among their number. I know that would mean I'd have to walk slower or carry them or their things, but I would love to be the father walking with a daughter who used her disney princess umbrella to shade herself everywhere she went.

Other than that, my life is amazing. I know I shouldn't be ungracious or ungrateful or impatient or impertinent. How many people can say they would only change one thing about their life? I'm not desperate for it or willing to settle, not when I once knew a woman who was practically perfect and was beautiful on the outside too.  Since others bastardized other songs, let me go back to this crooner classic to show how I feel about what and who's missing.


If you only ask, I'll come get you in a heartbeat.  Ask any time.

20 June 2015

Volunteer Work is Harder?

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I'm exhausted. Last Saturday, I spent most of the day up on Mt. Charleston as a volunteer with the national park service. Today, I went back, foolishly, for a second trip because I volunteered and wanted to keep my commitment. I have decided that if this is what it's like to be a NPS ranger that doesn't sit at a desk I'm glad to have my job instead. Over those two days alone, I hiked 30 miles carrying a 35lb pack, giving assistance, directions, water, and first aid to people on the trail. Most of them were not even all that friendly, and some of them I think were intimidated by my gun. I think I understand why most people must get paid to do their jobs.

In all of my trips hiking, I can only recall seeing park rangers on the trails a handful of times. Most of them are where the majority of the people are, which probably makes sense, since most rangers are "interpretive". This means they are there to guide people. Well, since most of the Spring Mountains is actually wilderness, I don't think I've ever seen a real ranger, but I have seen volunteers which is how I found out about this opportunity. Most of them, except for right after the fire two summers ago, were all young, pretty girls. I'm not sure yet if I'm happy or sad not to be paired up with those kind of volunteers, but it turned out to be just fine today.

Last week, I was there mostly as a sign compared to this week. Sure, I gave away two bottles of water and explained some guidance, but most of the people out last week were pretty sure of their destination and preparedness. This week was a different story. It's a much nicer day (no thunder/hail up on the mountain), and so there were probably 50 children under the age of 10 up on the trail where I was, and there was a youth group of teenage girls too. Most of these seemed wise enough to not overextend themselves. Some of the elderly were woefully unprepared when it came to water. Between what I gave away and drank myself (I drank probably 2.5L which is far more than I normally consume), I think I came back with almost none myself. We did get to carry someone out on a stretcher, and then when we went back for the gear we had to abandon at the junction, I hurt my ankle and had to hobble back down. I was glad to be with a 25 YO Male, because he was helpful carrying the stretcher and composed while we meandered our way back down. Of course he chided the "old man" all the way down, but I think everyone we meet is pretty confident I'm the right man for the job.

I haven't encountered anyone I know on the mountain this year, and I haven't encountered any other volunteers. I submit my reports to my supervisor and drop off the backpack each Sunday at Church where he is a fellow parishoner so that they can replenish my supplies, but mostly I see people. I am disappointed this year to see so many unhappy people. Only one person really stood out today, and that was probably 2 miles into the day when I took pictures for a woman and her mother. They were very pleasant. Some people didn't say ANYTHING to me, even when I tried to engage them in conversation. Normally I like hikers, but today was just a dour day.

I'm so very glad to be home, to have driven my much more comfortable 2005 Malibu, and that it's "only" 112F at my house today. I don't think a day of work ever wore me out so much like a day of volunteering does. I remember as a missionary feeling this tired, but work doesn't seem to burn me out nearly as badly, even when I worked under similarly hot and dry conditions elsewhere. I was so dehydrated when we got back to the trailhead I couldn't even spit correctly. What I do know is what this tells me about my conditioning and my perseverance. I went 14 miles today, climbed a total of 2500 feet in net elevation gain (and loss), carried someone to a safer place, carried my own gear, went back for my gear, and made it to the car only eight minutes behind schedule. It was a sore day, a red day, but a great day. Sadly, I was tired enough that for the first time in a long time two hikers managed to pass me, but they were on mile 4 of their day, and I was on mile 10 of mine, so I don't feel too bad.

Maybe volunteer work seems harder because it's something I actually enjoy and so I'm willing to go the distance. Yes, there are some perks, but mostly I am doing something that I love, and so I'm willing to go further and do more because I'm in my element. Years ago, I was given advice to spend my life doing what I love and let God bring the people into my life who belong. I guess not many people really belong, and I'm not a hard core hiker by any means, but I love being out there in the wild with people willing to get out of their cars, out of their own lives and into the world at large. I don't really know if you could pay me enough to do something I detested, and as much as I love science and teaching I won't do them for free. I also don't do this every day; my neighbor is a HS teacher, and he told me yesterday that he hikes five days per week. I'm not that gung ho, and I know if I did that much you'd probably have to start paying me to do it. For now, it's a nice escape with a purpose larger than my own.

18 June 2015

Busy Doing Nothing

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Although we haven't yet quite made it to 110F at my zip code in Vegas yet this summer, I have enjoyed coming home each night for the past two weeks and doing absolutely nothing. Well, that's not quite the story, but there is nothing that I MUST do each night, and that's wonderful. My father suggested earlier this year that I take summer off from teaching, and although I have other responsibilities and a research project to keep me busy during the day, it's nice not having anything I must do.

For the past four years straight, I have taught ever semester including summers with breaks only when students are not on campus. Although it feels strange to walk around while others are busy teaching without having reason to interface with students, I enjoy going home without having any grading or prep to do. When I leave work at 5PM, I leave work. If I like, I lie around and watch movies while I feel the air conditioning blow on me, and when it gets cool enough in the evening, I go out into the back yard to enjoy the plants, check on weeding, and make sure everything is watered. I find it amazing how much cooler the yard is this year for just having completed the landscaping from bare dirt/rocks last fall. I know that's different from standing all day in the sun, but this summer doesn't feel all that bad so far.

Sometimes I feel guilty doing nothing. It doesn't seem to bother most of my coworkers some of whom arrive hours late and leave hours early, but I do like to have something to do. It is nice to be the one deciding what to do and sometimes deciding to do absolutely nothing. I know that my ancestors would salivate at the level of freedom and luxury that I enjoy and they would shake a fist at me to see me shirking and sitting there doing nothing. As for Vegas, I think the original settlers would totally understand; I've seen photographs of them during the heat of a summer day doing as little as they absolutely must to stay alive. It's arduous here which is probably why it was never permanently settled until the advent of refrigeration!

Without the urgent and important work associated with teaching, I finally have time to do something I like to do with my time. I'm catching up on my naps, getting to the bank during normal banking hours, paying attention to the silk worms that eat my texas mountain laurels each summer and retard their growth, and reading for fun again. When I feel hungry in the evening, I walk over to the Sonic for a milk shake or a drink and don't feel bad since I burned most of the calories I consume just walking over. I volunteered this summer as a Park Service Trail Guide at Mt. Charleston, and so I spent all of last Saturday until 5PM wandering around in the wilderness talking to people, helping people if they needed it, and doing statistics. The poor young guy they paired with me was totally exhausted after our 21 mile day, but it was all in a day's work for me.

I thank God to be born in time and circumstances that free me to pursue my interests. Many of my ancestors even in recent times earned their living via subsistence farming. We have plentiful, fresh, and nutritious food available to us in a store less than a mile from my house, and so I walk over there sometimes and buy things I wouldn't have thought worth the price ten years ago so that I can be fit and healthy and enjoy my meals rather than eating because it's time. Plus, walking makes me grateful for climate control, for a car, and for the function and use of all my limbs. If I like, I don't have to be in a hurry. I have nothing else I must do, and that's wonderful.


For your listening pleasure, Bing Crosby et al with our theme song.

16 June 2015

What Message Does it Send

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People prove more likely to spread criticism than praise, unless of course they praise their friends. This is normal human behavior, and it was the subject of criticism from the Christ himself who admonished us that loving only those that love us is nothing different than the hypocrites do. Unfortunately, our tendency to pass on feedback sends the wrong message all too often, especially when we reward people with extra praise and presents for their presence. Rules ought to matter, and the law ought be administered evenly or else it creates the logical fallacy that the ends justify the means or that it's only a crime if you get caught. God sees everything, and eventually you reap what you sow.

Years ago I worked for a large international corporation in a time sensitive logistical capacity. One of our cadre came from a protected minority group, and he took every opportunity to cut corners, usurp, and manipulate management using his phenotype and the benefits accorded thereunto. When my boss awarded him a commendation for coming to work on time every day for three months, I went to him and told him that it cheapened the commendation awarded me for service above and beyond the call of duty. If there was a reward for arriving on time, then he ought give that award to everyone who qualified and not just this man. Paradoxically, this man was fired several months later for excessive tardiness; I took my commendation and tore it up in front of my manager that day and left the pieces for him to pick up off the floor.

I stood at the grave sites of my grandparents on 7 June and considered the messages enshrined on the rocks that sit over their bodies. Both sets declared their love for and focus on their families, on those left behind. Not every tombstone had that message, but there were none declaring, "I died with the most toys" or "I cheated my way to the top". Centuries from now, most people won't remember who you were or what you did; what you're really leaving behind is your family. What message will your family tell the world about you? What message are you sending? Is it the right one? I am trying to be the kind of man I want my daughter (if I ever have one) to date and marry so that I can hold young men to that. I have chosen the message I want to send, and so have most of you. I am comfortable with the message I chose. Are you?

Far too many of us prattle on about equality while we award special privileges to our friends and turn a blind eye to the plight of strangers or enemies. I admit I was tempted to preferentially hire a student to work with me based on prior affiliation, but I suggested that she apply to the Department Chair through the normal process and compete. She was not awarded the position, but if she had been, I would have felt better than if I used undue influence to help her get the position over other needy and qualified candidates. It wasn't venom against others; it was a matter of prior experience and personal preference. It is a huge temptation to use unrighteous dominion which sends the wrong message.

The message sent by the world is that it's not what you know, what you do, or who you are but who you know, whose boots you lick, and to whom you give a plum. This protracted campaign to reward boot-licking toadies sends the wrong message. The qualified are passed over for things beyond their control while the wicked are given a pass because they know people. I am fairsure that one reason NHP decided not to hire me came from the fact that they knew that I would cite them for traffic violations and hold them accountable to keep the law. I don't care so much usually what the rules are as long as they apply to everyone teh same way. Instead I see the opposite.

Among the recent violations of this civil compact, people in positions of influence have: 

  • promoted a man to manager because he was a people person meaning he was in with the right people. When they actually presented this man to us, they told us that he was promoted for all the virtues that I possess, and no mention was made of his people skills. 
  • promoted a man because he was calm. He was calm because he smoked pot every day. promoted people because they have kids and need the money. My brother was not selected to head a university flight program over a less qualified man because that man had two kids, "needed the money more", and was less likely to leave (read easier to manipulate). 
  • promoted people because they are friends with the Dean. During the pay freeze in Nevada, public records will show that people were promoted in various departments, and these people are all known daliants of the deans. 
  • promoted people because of the plums they put in the pies they send. 
  • awarded my ex wife a large sum of money. When she took me back to court five years ago, they decided I "owed her" to put her through graduate school. She could not prove that I promised to pay for this, because I did not, and they did not seem to care that I attended a far cheaper school than she. 
  • awarded my friend's ex custody of the kids and denied her parental rights.


What message does that send? It tells people that you will get rewarded not for virtue but for croneyism, not for your work but for your connections, not for productivity but for likeability. We keep sending the wrong message, that you sleep your way to the top, that you buy your way into power, that you manipulate people into loving you, and that the truncheon or verbal fisticuffs make people pliant. It is little wonder that there are few good people left. Even my attorney warned me that I should expect a hard time. He told me that going in by the front door expecting to be treated well is somewhat naive. Well, I shall continue to tilt where I should withdraw, because that is the knightly thing to do.

Years ago, the leader of my Faith asked parents to raise up missionaries to match the message. We need parents who, even if they are themselves imperfect, still encourage their children to be the best they can be. We need to reward and validate virtue. We need women who pick mates because of their virtues rather than their physique, on their values rather than their paycheck. we need men who refrain from things they should not do even when others offer them those things. We need to encourage and reward those things because what we nourish is strengthened. As the world around us tries to render virtue laughable, destroy the family, and undermine civilization in favor of cowtowing to a statistically insignificant minority, we need to stand for the behaviors that lead to civil society. We need people who will stand up for truth and right even if it costs them. We need people to tilt where others will withdraw.

For a time men are allowed to violate the rules and get away with it, but ultimately the consequences come. The perpetrators hope to not be alive when the time comes to pay the piper. However, their is a law irrevocably decreed in the heavens and a punishment affixed and a repentance granted which repentance mercy claimeth otherwise justice claimeth the creature and casts him down into the depths of hell. Hell is not a place; hell is a state of mind where everyone is obsessed with himself, blinded by a sense of self-import and actions that reward him regardless of the virtues of others. For today, for the struggling and the suffering, we need to be the kind of people who speak out in support of truth and right. We are more than you might think. I still think most of America if not most of the world still prefers truth and light over pelf and might. They are looking for someone to lead them, someone to carry a different message that justice and freedom are more than words. What message will your life send?

10 June 2015

Courtesy Shuttle of Doom

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I took my 2005 Chevy Malibu in this week for THREE recall repairs. The brake lamp, transmission shift cable, and a turn signal issue have been reported, but I haven't experienced any problems myself. I have actually never been to a dealership for service, and I have procrastinated these repairs for a good long time. I called ahead, got an appointment, and found out about the courtesy shuttle because I have no other way to get around without help driving me elsewhere. I arrived on time and was seated in the waiting area quickly. That's where the story turned sour.

I discovered that the list already had 16 people on it. This meant that by the time they got to me, it would be at least an hour. What's the point of getting on the list if it doesn't expedite the day? What was the point of an appointment if people who just show up can get on the list ahead of me? If I had known that, I would have shown up at 7AM to get a spot higher on the list. I mean, the service department was efficient up to that point, much to my amazement, but they had one shuttle driver. When she took her first load of four people, she took the list with her, and I started weighing other options.

I decided to walk to work since by my reckoning the dealership was only 4 miles from where I work. I can walk that in an hour any day of the week, and by the time the shuttle returned and got me to work, assuming I was the very next stop which I doubted, I would arrive at basically the same time. This way, I wouldn't just sit there doing nothing, and I'd get some exercise to boot. So, I asked for some information to get my bearings and hit the road.

My calculations about time and distance and ability were wrong. It was 96F that day as a high, it was humid for Vegas, and I was quickly out of the energy provided by my morning V8. As it turns out, the dealership was actually 6 miles from work, so it took me 90 minutes to walk. Good thing I wore my nice new shoes! So, I made good time, got in a good workout, but by the time I got to work I was wet and slightly odiferous. I am sure people noticed and objected.

I appreciate the shuttle service usually. It's nice to not have to rely on someone else or inconvenience a friend, neighbor, or relative to get you where you need to go. However, this was supremely inefficient and ineffectively articulated. If I had known, I would have made alternative arrangements. At least they gave me a loaner/rental later since it was going to take a few days, but I reaffirmed my belief that going in for service is a huge hassle. By the time I waited on the shuttle, I'd end up taking off half a day. No wonder people do what they do. Hopefully they won't break anything while the car is there. Now, I thank God that I had the endurance and stamina to complete the walk. It's a desert out there.

08 June 2015

Tomorrowland Review

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My brother and I went to see Tomorrowland Saturday night despite the reviews I read. We are glad we did. I heard that it was essentially a self-righteous lecture by George Clooney about how we've tanked our futures. However, I saw in the movie an invitation to make a better tomorrow, to do our part to make sure there is a tomorrowland whether you achieve it through environmental endeavors or through interactions with your fellowmen. Both of us saw a different message in the movie, a call not to act but rather to change our perspective. We trust so much in the so-called "best" among us that we excuse their sins against humanity because they mean well, as if none of us do, and as if means matter more than ends. I saw a few different things that struck me that I felt impressed to share with you.

What are we doing to stop it? When we first meet Casey, she attends a day of class in high school where her teachers all talk about the certainty of apocalypse. Her literature teacher finally lets her speak, whereupon she asks whether it can be stopped and what to do. A lot of these people jump to hyperbole. Either it cannot be stopped (Al Gore) or we must reduce ourselves back to the stone age in order to avoid it (Arinofsky). Whenever I hear absolutes like that, I know I can probably discard both of them. The appearance of chaos is simply an attempt to reestablish equilibrium as the concert of ebb and flow overreaches in the search for order. When we see disasters, they are simply the efforts of the universe to reorient itself to changes it finds unfavorable. It is not beneficial or desirable to have everything in common everywhere. Penguins do not do well in the rain forest, and tortoises stay in the desert on purpose. Everything has its place. We need to better learn our own, not to master the earth, but to care for it. As George Carlin reminded us "The greatest arrogance of all is trying to save the planet when we haven't figured out how to save ourselves." What are we doing to lift where we stand? Rather than some grandiose gesture that ends all suffering everywhere, what are we doing to alleviate problems for our neighbors and our families?

Many people are focused on, excited about, and certain of an apocalyptic end of the world. Whereas our parents grew up in a time when people excitedly and optimistically anticipated a better world of robot servants, flying cars, VOIP teleconferencing, UFP Star Trek, and a society run by altruism rather than money, the rising generation talks about nuclear war, the world of Idiocracy, a zombie apocalypse, the 2012 Mayan end of the world, and the like. Ironically, our forbearers envisioned this bright future while their present was darker than our present has been. We enjoy the greatest period of scientific, technological, and social advancement in human history and see only downhill from here. The movie rightly illustrates a morbid fascination with the end of things rather than the beginning, a new beginning, "earth PLUS plastic". Where is our hope? Where is our vision? The people invited to Tomorrowland were people who saw something better and kept trying to achieve it. That's what we need to be.

Science is actually destroying the planet. Despite the images and dialogue paraded before our eyes that men are destroying the planet by not hearkening to science, the real truth of the movie is that the smart people and the scientists inadvertently created its demise. In their arrogance to create a world without sin, a utopia, they build a machine ostensibly to see the future that actually becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy that CREATES the end of the world. Like most time travel paradoxes, trying to avoid the problem actually precipitates it. As soon as they machine is destroyed, the certainty of doomsday ceases to be as dire or imminent. Scientists, smart people, and the "best" among us are actually responsible for hastening the destruction (I also enjoyed watching Hugh Laurie play the villain because he strikes me as the type). This comes, I believe, because many scientists actually manipulate data in order to reach the conclusion they want to be true rather than what the data actually supports. I heard today that NOAA is going back and manipulating the temperature records to corroborate the conclusions of climate change. That's crony science, and it leads to this kind of disaster- wasting time, money, and life in the pursuit of something that never was and never will be. In the movie, they had to turn to someone who didn't have an ulterior motive because Casey didn't even know what happened when they brought her to Tomorrowland, so that she could see the solution without bias and without spin. Governor Nix refused to try; George Clooney didn't believe it could work; the robot Athena couldn't create original thought. It took true and pure peer review to see that science was the problem and propose the correct solution. Sometimes the solution is to leave things alone and let them play out as they naturally will.

People who didn't give up and held to hope held the key to the future in this movie, and they do so today. Rather than relish in and look forward to a tomorrow that demands nothing of us today, the movie invites us to focus only on the part of tomorrow that has its roots in today. CS Lewis warned about the futility of focusing on the future where fear and hope are inflamed in favor of focusing only on the part of tomorrow that belongs to today. We are so arrogant to think that we can destroy this planet, that we have destroyed what has vanished and that we know how things ought to be. Just because it's what we find familiar doesn't mean it's the preferred state for all things everywhere all the time. The same people who prattle the cliche that change is the only constant then act as if resisting change is the only virtue (unless you're a conservative Christian in which case conservation is a sin). Like Governor Nix, they just sit in their ivory tower doing nothing but talk while they insist that we act. Well, I call foul. Over a decade ago, George Carlin gave the perfect counterblast to these fearmongers and their ilk. Since he indemnifies them, they turn a blind eye to it, but you shouldn't. Warning: it is a wee bit profane.


Who knows what tomorrow will bring? Who knows what will be possible tomorrow? Who will act to make tomorrow better than today? That is the clarion call of Christianity- to make bad things good and good things better. It is also the temptation. We must do this without compulsory means, without manipulative speech, and without unrighteous dominion, but it must come by gentleness, meekness, persuasion, and love unfeigned. The elites among us prefer the former and keep trying to apply the adversary's method to achieve the Father's plan, a futile attempt by fallen men to build a utopia on earth that heaven alone can sustain.

02 June 2015

Penny Promise

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For the better part of a year, I walk, run, hike, or some other way reach 12 miles per day. On some of these trips, I pick up pennies, so many in the course of a year that I have quite a pile on my desk. I do this because pennies come with a promise, and because I decide to remind myself of that promise by picking up as many of them as I can.

I prefer to pick up pennies face up. It's not about their face value as much as it's something I value on their face. Emblazoned above Lincoln's head lie the words "In God We Trust". Although it's not on all of our coins anymore, it still remains on the pennies, and it reminds me every time to ask myself whether I still trust Him, His promises, His grace, His timing, and His love. Sometimes, as many as nine times in a day, I see those words above Lincoln's head and think about what He has told me and remind myself to be true, to trust Him, and to keep moving forward.

I know they aren't probably worth my time to pick up for any other reason. They really are all I have sometimes on a daily basis to reorient my attitude, opinion, and gaze in a direction that means anything. Sometimes, I feel like I only have as much faith as a penny can buy, but as the pile grows, I feel like God takes every opportunity He can to start a conversation with me. F. Enzio Busche gave a speech years ago and told us that "God always attempts to speak to you. Listen carefully and follow the uncomfortable suggestions He makes, and everything will fall into place (Unleashing the Dormant Spirit)". I feel like sometimes the counsel is completely mental, but I remind myself that I trusted Him before and ended up in a land of promise, and so I trust that if I continue to follow the counsel things will go well, even if not the way I might hope. As I pick up the pennies and think about and talk to my Father God, I get to consider daily if not more often whether I really do trust Him and commit to do better at it, even if only for a few more moments.

God seems to have plenty of pennies. Jay and I even found eight one day hiking up Rocky Gap Road in the wilderness behind Red Rock Canyon. Even more amazing, it seems like most of them are face up, as if it matters specifically to God that I see the message as soon as I notice the penny. It seems like they appear when I'm struggling the most, when I feel the most weighed down, and when I am most likely to criticize myself, and then I find someone dropped one where I just walked or a handful in a place I'm about to go. Yes, God tries all the time to speak to me, and He tells me to trust Him like I have in the past and like I encourage others to do themselves. My sister even messaged me Sunday and thanked me for encouraging her to inquire of the Lord for correction and direction, because she feels led to a land of promise. Well, it's easier to encourage others to do it than to do it yourself, particularly when the metrics measured by men mark you an abject failure. Still, the pennies come, the message repeats, and I affirm both in my heart as well as vocally that I put my trust in the Lord God.

Sometimes trusting God really is a leap of faith. It doesn't take much to bend over and pick up a penny, and it doesn't take much to utter the words attesting to a desire to trust God. Sometimes the work of patience, the work of life, the test of endurance requires a lot more. Only in a leap from the lion's head will he prove his worth. I have lept. I have acted. I have prayed. I have trusted. I have waited. I have seen blessings and miracles and opportunities, and I am still waiting for others to materialize. The pennies remind me of my promise to trust Him so that He can keep His promises. I don't always like how things come down, but I have a roof over my head, food in my pantry, money in the bank, marrow in my bones, and the peace of mind that many chapters of my life that closed against my will did so to my ultimate benefit. That doesn't mean it was easy, but it was the right thing.

In God we still trust at least here, in my house, on my street, in my town, in this country. I can't control what goes on in other people's homes, neighborhoods, towns, and nations, but I can set the tone for what happens for me and my house. Some people think it evil to serve God and use times of trial to justify their true desire to follow the dictates of their own carnality, and some worship the gods of sloth, lust, greed, or government. As for me and my house, we will trust the Lord. It's kind of why I'm particular and yes very picky about those with whom I choose to spend time; if you disagree with me on this point, we're not going to get along very well. I think it's funny that these people will trust powers they cannot see but refuse to attribute them to a person. God once left manna as a sign that He would take care of Israel. For me, He drops pennies to remind me to trust Him, to trust in Him, and to be worthy of what He entrusts to my care. Pennies are a promise, and the pennies are plentiful as are His blessings.