Benefits of Vigilance

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Back in 2015, I noticed water running down the sides of my driveway. When the bill came, I registered that almost 1000 gallons extra useage beyond what I usually use. It took a few weeks to determine that the leak was BENEATH the driveway, and I was worried about earth being worn away from beneath the driveway. The guy who installed the sprinkler system in my front yard ran tubing under the driveway that CONTAINED A KINKED SECTION which eventually failed. Ever since then, I have paid attention, nearly daily, to the water meter.

Tuesday morning when I left for work, I noticed that according to the water meter I had used 70 more gallons than I expected. When it happened again Wednesday morning, I went out to check the yard and found that a feed line had been detached from the valve, spilling water into the middle of the yard. So, some plants suffered for two days, and I wasted some water, but I got it repaired and didn't have to spend any money on a repair or a professional. If I were not aware, who knows how long it would have been before I noticed the water waste?

Periodically, unexpected useage piques my interest and gets me looking for a problem. Since the initial leak, I have caught neighbors using my water to fill their swimming pool, squatters (in that same house later) using my hose bib to fill their carbuoys, found a leak in a valve in the front yard, and tracked another useage to a cracked section of pipe at a corner. That last one was a huge pain to fix. However, since I pay attention nearly daily, I caught the problem early on, within a few days, and minimized the water waste.

We take a lot of things for granted in our modern life. Many daily conveniences create massive problems because we just assume things are running fine. Back when you had to haul your own water, nobody ever ended up with a flood inside their house unless there was an actual flood. When you had no electricity you went to bed when it was dark or hung out by a fire/candle. When you didn't have netflix, you had to entertain yourself or get together with friends. Now, a lot of things go without oversight and, unwatched, often end up out of wack.

The world has changed a lot in the las 23 years. Politicians, unwatched, have run rampant. People, obsessed with watching their phones, have often run into me while walking. A lot of things are not getting the attention they ought, and some things, like tiktok and other social media, get far more attention than they deserve. Are you watching what they teach your children? Are you watching your bank account? Do you check your utility bills to see if they make sense? Do you pay attention to people in your neighborhood? I recently spent 10 days in France, and none of my neighbors even noticed. Everyone seems obsessed with what I'm eating online, but nobody seems interested in actually getting together.

They say that eternal vigilance is the price of freedom. Our conveniences and opportunities came, often, due to no sacrifice or work on our part. For the most part, people simply pay money and the conveniences of modernity are provided BY OTHERS. When crisis arises, we are then beholden to those professionals to repair our state at whatever price they demand. When crisis arises, we often don't notice before things are far beyond our poor power to affect change. People don't really seem to notice what goes on around them, and then they piss and moan when something goes wrong, badly wrong, and a large price is required to repair the damage done.

Like I said, because I watch my water meter, I caught the problem within two days and paid nothing to actually rectify it. If I waited for a professional, in all likelihood he would charge me a service fee to "take a look" (which I could also do) and then probably has a minimum fee even though no expense was required. If we pay more attention to what happens around us, we can save ourselves from irreparable disaster sometimes as well as from being beholden to the often unethical business practices of those who would hold us at ransom. Years ago, I had a flat tire that was irreparable (so they say) and they refused to let me leave. I put on the spare tire, drove home, put on a FULL SIZE SPARE that I had in the garage, and waited until tires were on sale to buy a replacement. Vigilance provided me with freedom. I didn't have to bow to their demands, pay their price or act on their timing. I was ready and free to act upon my own. You can be too. Not everything is simple and not everything is cheap, but if you are paying attention you can often end up paying a lot less down the road when things go wrong. Catching a problem early may cost you for the repair, but you wont stack up months worth of excess water useage because you didn't notice the back yard was flooded every morning. Be vigilant. In this there is savings and peace.

Long Time Passed No Posts

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I learned yesterday from a follower that people miss this media. I abandoned it because during quarantine I was making videos, and they are easier to make. However, I do get a lot of shade for how I look, which I don't get here. I've just been frustrated, distracted, and discouraged, and so I have opted to do other things with my time, because I thought that nobody read this or cared anymore for blogs, especially mine.

So, now that I know you care, so here's the skinny. I've been in a bishopric now for about two years, and it has been the most frustrating thing in my life. I took this calling knowing that it would require sacrifice, but I had no idea as to the width and bredth of sacrifice it would actually exact of me. Whether we're talking about my job, my health, or my other private concerns, this calling has cost me in many avenues of my life, and may culminate in me losing my membership or at least some privileges thereof.

First off, it hurt me professionally/vocationally. I had to take a significant pay cut to be in the bishopric, and that staffing option has been filled by someone else who was willing and AVAILABLE. As soon as I was no longer willing to do whatever it took, the administration started looking for OTHER PEOPLE to put into my slots. For the first time in a decade, they took a class from me last term and gave it to a new hire who is a member of the HDTV+ community. Students were upset. Administration was aloof. Meanwhile, the other bishopric counselor has been promoted twice, and he's unlikely to be at weekly activities, summer camp, or stick around very long after church. His career is far more important than the Lord.

Secondly, it has hurt me socially. As a member of a bishopric, I'm supposed to work with the youth, but there are also a crapton of widows and widowers, and I have adopted them and cared for them. So, my friend circle is predominantly filled with septa- and octagenarians, who are old enough to be my parents. On the other end of the spectrum, I work with teenagers, who are young enough to be my children. Some of their parents don't like me because the kids listen to me and not to them. So, I ended up in a social no mans land where the people my age are married already and/or hate me.

Finally, it has hurt me psychologically. I find that church leaders are reticent to help with or dismissive of my concerns. Yesterday in church a Stake Leader used abusive language toward three youth and although the Stake President and Bishop were there, I was the only person who pushed back or pointed it out. I was so ticked off that I was about to punch the dude for mocking teenagers, so instead I tripped over my chair and left. My pulse was 117bpm. I was angry. Church leaders expect me to "plow and sow and reap to glut the avarice of those who would riot in my blood and hunt me from the face of the [ward]". They expect me to get these kids to seminary and prepare them for missions and then allow other adults to mock them publicly in front of their peers. I told the Stake President that I expect him to back me up if the youth matter, otherwise I'll surrender my temple recommend and resign from the bishopric.

At the end of the day, none of these kids are mine. Nobody will make much mention of lessons I taught or times I stood up for them if other priesthood leaders drive them away from the church. If stake leaders aren't going to stick up for the kids and push back against the Adversary's methods, what good will my feeble efforts achieve? I am only one man, and half the time I'm sure I'm overreacting and being over the top because I lack a female influence to calm me down and temper my reactions. I don't know if God talks to me, if I hear Him at all, or if I misinterpreted His messages. Plus, what do I know about raising children? Nobody seems to want to have any with me, so what do I know about raising them? I just about attacked a priesthood leader who was bullying the youth. Imagine what that might have cost me if I physically assaulted him in a church building!

I don't know why, but I care about these kids. I know that five to ten years from now, if past is prologue, most of them won't remember me, talk to me, or talk about me even though in the digital age keeping in touch is easy, even for someone sans social media such as myself. Two years ago, I attended wedding receptions for two young men I taugh back in 2018, but I haven't heard a peep from them since. I know God sees what I'm doing, and He hasn't struck me with lightning yet or closed my mouth so that I cannot speak, so I keep being me because that's what I was told to do was be me. Yet, I feel so often like I am the 506th Parachute Infantry, surrounded in Bastogne, and the Allied leadership is dickering about helping me while I give ground and lose confidence. I know that paratroopers are supposed to be surrounded, but we also rely on other parts of God's Battalion to come to our relief. Nuts!

Maybe I'm just complaining. Maybe I'm just not cut out for this job. Maybe I'm not supposed to win. I mean, sometimes God sends people to proclaim repentence knowing they won't actually repent, but I hoped that I might be able to make a difference. Now I have to go spend six hours this week doing damage control with vulnerable youth because some high school football star continues to bully those who are weaker than he and gets away with it because priesthood leaders "believe in God's mercy". I refuse to let the kids be bullied, and I refuse to put my arm to the square to sustain men who think there is virtue in using the adversary's method to achieve the Father's plan. I managed to walk away, but I cannot do that forever, and I don't know how else to respond. I don't have time to raise other men's kids, and why would God trust me to do that when He gave me none of my own?