Many things have changed since I last wrote on this blog. Most of them have been challenges or blessings disguised as trials. One of them, however, was not. After more than two years grieving my dog, last August, God helped me find a new one. His name is Courage.
His previous humans were allergic to him. Turns out I might be too. Courage licks me more than my other dogs, and I find that I develop a rash sometimes, but when I went over to meet him before committing to bringing him home, he came over and sat between my legs as comfortable as can be, and I took that as a sign that this was the right dog.
Sometimes Courage sits in my other beagle's spots, but he has not taken his place. I wonder sometimes if he knows that there was another dog here once, that some of those spots are his. At first, he sniffed around looking for my other beagle, despite the fact that he'd been dead for two years. Now, he has his own places and we have our own things, and I reserve some places for the dog who was my best friend.
I brought Courage home over a year ago. I would have written on the anniversary, but there was a fire at my house, and I just moved back in this week. It was tough sleeping on a couch and leaving him in a crate, but we have shared some tender moments. I am determined to show by the way I treat Courage that I have learned to be a better dog dad. Sure, I wish I'd done that with my other beagle, but at least it shows that I have learned and that his sacrifices brought forth fruit.
This morning, I awoke to find Courage laying on his side, his head resting on the pillow watching me sleep. I left the light on all night, and he was there for me. Courage chose me, and he continues to choose me. I know that he'll be over the moon that I'll finish class early this week and be there with him a little bit longer before bed. I will be too.
Although God still sees fit to introduce me only to humans who will not be meaningful to my life long term, He has granted in His mercy to bless me with dogs. I wrote in the book, which I still have not finished three years later, that my dogs are a reminder that God has not forsaken nor forgotten me, that He has good things for me, and that He loves me. Courage's humans named him after Courage the Cowardly Dog, but he's not a coward at all. Instead, I kept the name when the words of a hymn came to mind:
Fear not though the Enemy deride. Courage, for the Lord is on our side.
He has been and continues to be on mine, and Courage is a tangible reminder that God loves me, even if it's a canine companion. After all, Courage knows the truth about me too and is still excited to be with me, warts and all.
