06 April 2017

No Other Gods

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A plenipotentiary of interested, albeit unaffected, people tell me sometimes that I should abandon my Faith, and I think I found the best way to answer their concerns and yours if you feel like you are in that place. Fascinatingly, I was thinking this weekend about Moses and the Exodus, and I realized that it's the same story on a different scale, and that these people are doing the same things that the children of Israel did. While it is true that I am mistreated by members of my Faith and subject to some curious provisions of the bylaws, I am not going to leave. Some think I'm in the wrong congregation, the wrong Faith, that maybe I follow the wrong God or that perhaps I should create my own. Well, you don't know me very well, and some of them don't know their own religious tradition well either. The story of the Exodus is sometimes overemphasized in terms of the plagues and leaving Egypt without dwelling enough on the path they trod between bondage and prosperity. There is only one way to get from Egypt to the Promised Land, and it is not to puff up myself and build an idol, depose the prophet, return to Egypt, or surrender my allegiance once I have seen God's hand giving me a chance to leave. Thou shalt have no other gods before me, and I am not fool enough to think I could fashion one or that I have. I am the created; He is the creator.

Despite seeing miracles, they quickly forget. Each of the plagues affected apparently every region of Egypt except for Goshen. After the plagues led to their release, Israel plundered Egypt and took spoils, including money (which is where they got the gold for the idol later, but I digress). By the time they got the commandments, God had already provided mannah daily and pheasants for a change of pace (Exodus 16) and then found water out of a rock when they thirsted (Exodus 17) and then seen the mountain of transfiguration boom with God's presence (Exodus 19). What's actually eye-opening for me as I reread the account is that apparently the people knew about the commandments (exodus 24) BEFORE Moses got the tablets (exodus 31). People like to claim that if they could see God they would believe. If He only gave them everything they command they will do everything He commands. Well, as Exodus teaches us, God actually DID provide for them first and then they were still fools. After Moses told them God forbade idols (Exodus 20) they make one anyway (exodus 32). Lord, what fools these mortals be! Obviously we are no different from Israel. I have seen miracles, felt God's presence, and benefitted from His love; I know it, and I know that He knows that I know it, and I will not deny or forget it. Maybe I'm not getting the nourishment I need or making the headway I like, but I also feel very strongly like He is pleased with my stumblings (CS Lewis).

Unable to see God for themselves, they make their own. Many years ago, shortly after I was divorced, my friend Tom suggested I start my own church. He knew I wouldn't start one with beer and hookers, but I told him that who was I to presume myself called to that? Not even Martin Luther actually intended to create a splinter group from The Church- he only thought he would raise awareness and create change in the church he knew and served and loved. Other people took it upon themselves to do so, but "no man taketh this honour unto himself saved he is called of God as was Aaron". John the Baptist didn't start a church; he knew he was paving the way for the Messiah, and when he met Christ, he was reticent to think that he had any authority whatsoever in the kingdom, hesitating to baptize Jesus. The fact is that there was an organized church and congregations thereof run through a central heirarchy. If not, then why did Paul write so many epistles to the churches? He was directing the church. Even in his time, there were obviously miscommunications, misunderstandings, and misapprehensions, because if you read the Pauline epistles, you'll see that he says different things to some congregations and the same things to others. Obviously some central authority was necessary to direct the church. Paul didn't decide to do this. The other apostles chose him to be among their number after Judas' death. I do not presume to be a man called of God to start a church or even to lead my own. If that is what He wants, He will let me know the same way He has, even if I must see a burning bush.

Unwilling to follow a madman into Sinai, they insist on returning to Egypt. From the moment God spoils Pharaoh's army to the time when Moses goes to the mount to receive the stone tablets, Israel constantly complains that things would be better elsewhere. The problem is that this particular elsewhere, Egypt, was a country that enslaved them. People suggest that I should go somewhere else and enslave myself to another idea simply because it MIGHT be easier to bear, consistent, and predictable. Well, I know that wandering in the desert isn't exactly a rip-roaring good time, but I know that I would rather die with the harness off my back than deal with these alternatives. I have met my fair share of cotton-headed ninnymuggins in positions of leadership in the church. I know men who are corrupted by power and who imagine up in their own minds that they know better than God or speak for Him. Well, I know the pattern of prophecy, and I know that God doesn't call random nincompoops to positions of power without some sort of token, and I don't care what these men think, they are not fulfillment of some prophecy of which I've never heard. The only staph they might have is an infection. Finding something simpler, safer, suppler is not necessarily better. Finding something else isn't necessarily going to lead you to the Land of Promise. You left Egypt for a reason, and a VERY good one. I'm not going back to the mire just because it's comfortable. The right thing is rarely easy or immediately rewarding, and usually it costs you something upfront. If that's what you want to do fine, but don't force me to agree. "When we die and you are sent to heaven for following your conscience and I am sent to hell for not following mine, will you come with me for fellowship? (Sir Thomas More)".

Only those willing to trust God, follow His prophet, and remain true were allowed to see the Promised Land. When Moses came down and saw the throng engaged in their riotous and raucous reverie, he cried out, "Who's on the Lord's side (exodus 32:26)" and then instructed the Levites who gathered to slay the offenders. Eventually, as punishment for persistent and constant complaints against God, Israel was punished to wander in Sinai for forty years and only Joshua and Caleb were allowed to go into the promised land (at least of the men of the camp) because they were true to their God. I find it paradoxical just how many people think that they can do whatever they like and still get everything God promises. The prodigal son was welcomed back, but the inheritance remains promised to the faithful son. At every juncture where they opined the loss of Egypt, where they were slaves, God provided for them. At every point where they assumed Moses was a raving lunatic, who had gained their release from Pharaoh, God backed him up. At every instance where they had a change to prove what God they truly wanted to follow, even when they made their own or forgot the cloud by day and pillar of fire by night, God still protected them and let them see the land of milk and honey he promised. Not everyone who calls out, "Lord, lord" will get his due, for how knoweth the man a master whom he has not served and who is a stranger to him? How can I expect God to bless me if I follow your advice and abandon Him? If I want to see the promised land, I must remain true to the end.

Paradoxically and contrary to logic, people like to complain about how I am treated because of my Faith and suggest I leave it. What I suffer doesn't compare at all to what Moses had to bear, and nobody suggests he was a raving lunatic. No, I'm the fool and he was a prophet, and yet our stories are not so different in their undergirding principle- it is strange for mortals to keep faith and normal for mortals to criticize those who do. I am not a prophet, but I know what they teach and how to recognize them. I will not fashion my own God because the one I have doesn't happen to validate my worth or follow MY commandments. I am not going to find something easier or better fitting or connoiseur churches, because it's not a question of what I like but what God commands. I know what I know, and I will not go with you on a path that doesn't lead where I want to go just for company. The exodus is a pattern for our lives once we start living what God asks. Sure, it's difficult, demanding, draining, drudgery, but the only way to get from Egypt to the Promised Land on foot is to cross the Sinai Desert. There are no other options. No other roads connect those two places (interestingly enough). No other Gods can redeem us from bondage. No other Way exists. This is where I know I ought to be, and I will not be moved. I might falter or fall, but I will do all that I can to at least see that promised land if not ultimately dwell there. I am following the prophet, following Moses, and listening to God and His Christ, and as much as I appreciate your concern, I trust that if I'm on the wrong path they will tell me directly.

04 April 2017

As a Disciple of Christ

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Although I don't occupy a position of visible prominence and lofty titles, I occupy a position in my Faith of great responsibility. I teach Sunday School for all the teenagers in my congregation who are in High School. They are a variegated and complicated bunch, not because they are problematic, but because of the world into which they are about to enter. After General Conference this past weekend, I told my father that since I wasn't a priesthood leader, I wanted to find more ways to get involved and inspire them to action and growth. He told me that I already was, that I have been for a long time, often leading from the middle rather than at the head. He told me that he feels he is there to help train his bishop, and it made me think of a time when I had to train someone in a far loftier position than I who apparently didn't learn certain lessons and had to learn then from a 20 year old boy in the Alps. Those of you who know who Dieter Uchtdorf is have your own stories; mine are much different than yours, as you will see, and as he gently tried to use me to teach a man who once occupied a position of prominence and lofty title. During that brief interval, I got to work essentially directly under God's direction, which is quite a thing if you think about it, and learned just how involved He is, how much help He gives, and what He asks of those who truly accept Him and want to work with Him. You see, far too many people think about accepting Christ in order to be saved while ignoring the other scriptures closely akin to that. "And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the one and only true God and Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent" and "for how knoweth the man a master whom he hath not served and who is a stranger to him?" My missionary service was my time to become a disciple, to not just accept Him but to walk with Him and get to know Him as I got to know and serve and love those people whom He asks to call Him Father.

God directs the work. When I became the Zone Leader of Tirol, the Mission President called me about the Newmans. Elder Newman was a former member of the 2nd Quorum of Seventy, who was now serving in a much more humble position as clerk in the mission home in Vienna. Elder Newman wasn't happy about his assignment and wanted to be more involved, to proselyte, and, as I later learned, push people around by virtue of his experience as a leader, and nobody wanted to work with him. When President Schulze called me, I knew what he wanted, and I wasn't happy, so when he asked me if it was ok to send the Newmans to Tirol, I said to my great astonishment and pride, "If God wants the Newmans in Innsbruck, you do not need my permission." The President hung up and called me back. After the Newmans arrived, he set about immediately validating the rumors that came before him and immediately tried to exercise unrighteous dominion, demanding to be in charge of the missionary work and missionaries over which I was Zone Leader. I told him that if he thought God wanted him to be ZL, he should call the mission home and ask, thereby freeing me to do God's work and stop having asinine conversations with him. A few days later, Dieter Uchtdorf, the Area President of Europe, called and asked me if I'd told Elder Newman he should be the Zone Leader; Elder Dieter told me that he had discussed things with Elder Newman and made it clear that God decides whom He chooses to lead, and that I was the designated leader and that if I had any more problems I should call him directly. When I made decisions, I deferred to the Lord, involved the Lord, and acted on what the Lord commanded. I cannot tell you that things turned out peachy keen, but I do know that I said and did things I never could have known to do let alone that well at the age of 20, and I continue to live that way today.

God qualifies us to lead. When I became the ZL, I wasn't sure about the choice. I had never been a leader, and I wasn't really very successful if you talk about statistics and paperwork, so I asked if I was being promoted because there wasn't anyone else who really qualified. President Schulze just laughed and told me I was funny. I can however tell you that I was given phrases to say, activities to attempt, ideas of places to go, and ways to handle problems far above my experience and maturity level. So surprising were the interpolations of Providence that they sent the highest missionaries in Austria out to watch me to find out what I was doing and why when all I was really doing was living worthy of God's help and then trusting that it would come when I opened my mouth. As a Zone Leader responsible for missionaries in four different countries speaking three different languages, I was the only one who received an unrestricted EU travel visa, and I found that I was able to learn all the languages of the areas for which I was responsible. One young Elder wrote me about how he tried to picture what a good, down to earth, hard-working missionary would look like, and was pleased to meet me as his first zone leader, and another told me how he looked up to me as an elder brother. Not everyone liked me, but there was one who wrote how he was glad he picked up a few of my traits by serving closely with me. As I traveled around the alps and crossed borders to work with missionaries in Italy, Slovenia, Austria, and Germany, the work in my area suffered, and as their efforts bore fruit with my help and encouragement, they knew that I was giving up my time and opportunities for their success.  I spent a LOT of time on the train, and a LOT of time listening to conversations in different languages and doing most of the talking since I was the only missionary who knew what was being said.  I look back on that time as one of the best times, albeit one of the most difficult, of my life, not because of what I achieved but because of what I learned about my true propensities and qualifications for leadership and how God gives His mantle to whom He calls.

God's leaders sacrifice. When the Newmans came, I surrendered my car, my apartment, much of my time in the aforementioned verbal distractions, and even my decision to cease speaking English as a missionary. Sister Newman spoke only English, and so I had to speak English to her, which caused one other missionary to exclaim, "Is that what you really sound like?" when he heard me speak English for the first time. Only just before I returned home did the Newmans really learn about the way in which they came to be in Innsbruck and what I surrendered to help them be comfortable, and they felt ashamed that they complained about their accommodations especially when they saw the dive to which Elder Gertge and I had to move when they took what we had. As I mentioned, I spent a great deal of time in the areas where other missionaries were assigned, and on one particularly inauspicious encounter, I was assigned to proselyte in Hall in Tirol, a town where the Deacon of Tirol lived, a man who once ran the missionaries out of town. I was beat up at a train station, incarcerated by Italian border guards, frozen nearly to death in the mountains, and when I found people willing to listen they almost invariably lived in another missionary's area. Still, one elder wrote how when I returned home the people would know that I had served with valour, and my family can probably still remember how I looked when I debarked the plane in America, tired and worn but not defeated or finished. I spent most Sundays translating meetings for tourists, and if you've never translated before you know how difficult it is, and so I don't remember a single thing said at church in Tirol, because I had to translate rather than pay attention, and so I gave up my Sundays so that tourists could enjoy the meetings too. When an Elder's bike was stolen, I gave him mine and then when his was recovered, I went to court to translate for him since he was new.

My missionary service in Austria was the last time I held an official and lofty title. Since returning from that service, except for a brief period, I have spent all of my church service teaching Sunday School in one fashion or another. I realized this year that this is a position of great responsibility. I have the power, means, and opportunity to corrupt all the youth in my congregation if I choose, to teach for doctrines the commandments of men, to teach the philosophies of men mingled with scripture but deny the power thereof. I try very hard to still let God direct me, trust that He's going to help me, and sacrifice in order to achieve the best approximation of what He would do that I am capable. Connor prayed at the end of class back in January and thanked God for my faithfulness in and dedication to my calling, and they know that I care about them even though I have almost no reason to do so whatsoever. They are not my children; I don't even have a girlfriend. They are not my friends. THeir parents are not my friends.  They will probably not talk to me much when they matriculate to college. I learned as a missionary how to be a disciple of Christ. I am still trying very hard to do what He would have me do where I am, to lift where I stand, to act well my part, and to follow His direction even when I have no idea why. I face a lot of disappointment and heartache. I did in Austria, too. When I went home, the Newmans invited me over to their humble apartment in Thaur where they cooked a nice meal for me and thanked me for the lessons in leadership I taught them. I found a way to work with them and give them a place, something that nobody else apparently wanted to do. He and I still had problems, but I knew that he was also one of God's sons, trying to help others of God's children, and so that as a leader it was my job to get him connected to the work, and we found a way. Sometimes it was difficult to view these people as God's children, and except for the SS people we met, I think I can honestly say I managed to see them as God's children. I got to know God and work with Him, to start off well on the road to discipleship. IN that way, my missionary service was the best time for my life.