A plenipotentiary of interested, albeit unaffected, people tell me sometimes that I should abandon my Faith, and I think I found the best way to answer their concerns and yours if you feel like you are in that place. Fascinatingly, I was thinking this weekend about Moses and the Exodus, and I realized that it's the same story on a different scale, and that these people are doing the same things that the children of Israel did. While it is true that I am mistreated by members of my Faith and subject to some curious provisions of the bylaws, I am not going to leave. Some think I'm in the wrong congregation, the wrong Faith, that maybe I follow the wrong God or that perhaps I should create my own. Well, you don't know me very well, and some of them don't know their own religious tradition well either. The story of the Exodus is sometimes overemphasized in terms of the plagues and leaving Egypt without dwelling enough on the path they trod between bondage and prosperity. There is only one way to get from Egypt to the Promised Land, and it is not to puff up myself and build an idol, depose the prophet, return to Egypt, or surrender my allegiance once I have seen God's hand giving me a chance to leave. Thou shalt have no other gods before me, and I am not fool enough to think I could fashion one or that I have. I am the created; He is the creator.
Despite seeing miracles, they quickly forget. Each of the plagues affected apparently every region of Egypt except for Goshen. After the plagues led to their release, Israel plundered Egypt and took spoils, including money (which is where they got the gold for the idol later, but I digress). By the time they got the commandments, God had already provided mannah daily and pheasants for a change of pace (Exodus 16) and then found water out of a rock when they thirsted (Exodus 17) and then seen the mountain of transfiguration boom with God's presence (Exodus 19). What's actually eye-opening for me as I reread the account is that apparently the people knew about the commandments (exodus 24) BEFORE Moses got the tablets (exodus 31). People like to claim that if they could see God they would believe. If He only gave them everything they command they will do everything He commands. Well, as Exodus teaches us, God actually DID provide for them first and then they were still fools. After Moses told them God forbade idols (Exodus 20) they make one anyway (exodus 32). Lord, what fools these mortals be! Obviously we are no different from Israel. I have seen miracles, felt God's presence, and benefitted from His love; I know it, and I know that He knows that I know it, and I will not deny or forget it. Maybe I'm not getting the nourishment I need or making the headway I like, but I also feel very strongly like He is pleased with my stumblings (CS Lewis).
Unable to see God for themselves, they make their own. Many years ago, shortly after I was divorced, my friend Tom suggested I start my own church. He knew I wouldn't start one with beer and hookers, but I told him that who was I to presume myself called to that? Not even Martin Luther actually intended to create a splinter group from The Church- he only thought he would raise awareness and create change in the church he knew and served and loved. Other people took it upon themselves to do so, but "no man taketh this honour unto himself saved he is called of God as was Aaron". John the Baptist didn't start a church; he knew he was paving the way for the Messiah, and when he met Christ, he was reticent to think that he had any authority whatsoever in the kingdom, hesitating to baptize Jesus. The fact is that there was an organized church and congregations thereof run through a central heirarchy. If not, then why did Paul write so many epistles to the churches? He was directing the church. Even in his time, there were obviously miscommunications, misunderstandings, and misapprehensions, because if you read the Pauline epistles, you'll see that he says different things to some congregations and the same things to others. Obviously some central authority was necessary to direct the church. Paul didn't decide to do this. The other apostles chose him to be among their number after Judas' death. I do not presume to be a man called of God to start a church or even to lead my own. If that is what He wants, He will let me know the same way He has, even if I must see a burning bush.
Unwilling to follow a madman into Sinai, they insist on returning to Egypt. From the moment God spoils Pharaoh's army to the time when Moses goes to the mount to receive the stone tablets, Israel constantly complains that things would be better elsewhere. The problem is that this particular elsewhere, Egypt, was a country that enslaved them. People suggest that I should go somewhere else and enslave myself to another idea simply because it MIGHT be easier to bear, consistent, and predictable. Well, I know that wandering in the desert isn't exactly a rip-roaring good time, but I know that I would rather die with the harness off my back than deal with these alternatives. I have met my fair share of cotton-headed ninnymuggins in positions of leadership in the church. I know men who are corrupted by power and who imagine up in their own minds that they know better than God or speak for Him. Well, I know the pattern of prophecy, and I know that God doesn't call random nincompoops to positions of power without some sort of token, and I don't care what these men think, they are not fulfillment of some prophecy of which I've never heard. The only staph they might have is an infection. Finding something simpler, safer, suppler is not necessarily better. Finding something else isn't necessarily going to lead you to the Land of Promise. You left Egypt for a reason, and a VERY good one. I'm not going back to the mire just because it's comfortable. The right thing is rarely easy or immediately rewarding, and usually it costs you something upfront. If that's what you want to do fine, but don't force me to agree. "When we die and you are sent to heaven for following your conscience and I am sent to hell for not following mine, will you come with me for fellowship? (Sir Thomas More)".
Only those willing to trust God, follow His prophet, and remain true were allowed to see the Promised Land. When Moses came down and saw the throng engaged in their riotous and raucous reverie, he cried out, "Who's on the Lord's side (exodus 32:26)" and then instructed the Levites who gathered to slay the offenders. Eventually, as punishment for persistent and constant complaints against God, Israel was punished to wander in Sinai for forty years and only Joshua and Caleb were allowed to go into the promised land (at least of the men of the camp) because they were true to their God. I find it paradoxical just how many people think that they can do whatever they like and still get everything God promises. The prodigal son was welcomed back, but the inheritance remains promised to the faithful son. At every juncture where they opined the loss of Egypt, where they were slaves, God provided for them. At every point where they assumed Moses was a raving lunatic, who had gained their release from Pharaoh, God backed him up. At every instance where they had a change to prove what God they truly wanted to follow, even when they made their own or forgot the cloud by day and pillar of fire by night, God still protected them and let them see the land of milk and honey he promised. Not everyone who calls out, "Lord, lord" will get his due, for how knoweth the man a master whom he has not served and who is a stranger to him? How can I expect God to bless me if I follow your advice and abandon Him? If I want to see the promised land, I must remain true to the end.
Paradoxically and contrary to logic, people like to complain about how I am treated because of my Faith and suggest I leave it. What I suffer doesn't compare at all to what Moses had to bear, and nobody suggests he was a raving lunatic. No, I'm the fool and he was a prophet, and yet our stories are not so different in their undergirding principle- it is strange for mortals to keep faith and normal for mortals to criticize those who do. I am not a prophet, but I know what they teach and how to recognize them. I will not fashion my own God because the one I have doesn't happen to validate my worth or follow MY commandments. I am not going to find something easier or better fitting or connoiseur churches, because it's not a question of what I like but what God commands. I know what I know, and I will not go with you on a path that doesn't lead where I want to go just for company. The exodus is a pattern for our lives once we start living what God asks. Sure, it's difficult, demanding, draining, drudgery, but the only way to get from Egypt to the Promised Land on foot is to cross the Sinai Desert. There are no other options. No other roads connect those two places (interestingly enough). No other Gods can redeem us from bondage. No other Way exists. This is where I know I ought to be, and I will not be moved. I might falter or fall, but I will do all that I can to at least see that promised land if not ultimately dwell there. I am following the prophet, following Moses, and listening to God and His Christ, and as much as I appreciate your concern, I trust that if I'm on the wrong path they will tell me directly.
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