27 February 2014

By Their Fruits

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I have been rejected all my life for my Faith. My close friend said last night that sadly that is probably something I can expect to get in the way of interpersonal relationships. It's unpopular because it asks people to examine themselves. In today's world, faith and virtue are no longer as attractive as they used to be, because people are acutely aware albeit sometimes clandestinely that they're not the people they ought to be. When they meet someone who really intends to live as he professes, it makes them uncomfortable, and so rather than changing to be better, they accuse me of being a pretender. I know most men who profess this are liars, and I am not perfect. I am unashamed of my past and unafraid for my future, because I really believe in something larger than myself.

When I was a young child, this rejection happened with regularity. Periodically friends would tell me they could not be my friend anymore because I was a member of a particular Faith. Nothing about me changed; the only change was that their parents became aware of my religious affiliation, which apparently was one with which they took exception. I was always a member of that Faith; it just wasn't something they knew. Even when it wasn't known it was never a secret.

Most of my friends growing up were of other Faiths. Naturally, in England my friends were Anglican mostly, but even in Idaho they were of other Christian denominations than my own. Partially this was due to the fact that we associated with other military families, but it also arose from the fact that extracurricular activities brought together people of disparate Faiths. This was common, but eventually at least one person in every place we lived came to me and told me that they could not be my friend anymore, not because of some moral stance, but because of a title others gave me. My good high school friend Jay was the last casualty of this phenomenon in my youth. We used to sit together during driver's ed and talk since we spent maybe 10 minutes per day in a car and the rest watching others drive. The rejection because of my Faith even came from people of my own Faith. In Vegas as a youth, I didn't belong to the congregational secret club known only as "BC". I still don't know what that meant. I was always invited to service projects or official church activities, but I happened upon a fair few BC events where I was excluded by people with whom I allegedly shared beliefs.

When I reached adulthood, I thought this would stop, but instead it grew worse. As a missionary of course, most of the people with whom I spoke rejected me. Elder Young pointed out that they didn't really know me and hence it wasn't personal, but it didn't really make me feel better to go home from my missionary service with nothing to show for it except for worn clothing and memories of people I used to know. One afternoon in Vienna, a man physically assaulted me just because he irrationally hated members of my Faith. He stopped because the gendarmerie came to my assistance. A colleague in graduate school hosted us at her house for a study session for a difficult core course. After about an hour sitting there listening to her and her husband go on and on about how much they hated members of my Faith, I rose to leave. When she asked what was wrong, I told her I was leaving because I was obviously not welcome there, but it took at least another minute for her to realize why. Finally, there is my ex-wife. She converted to my faith at 16, years before I met her and in another state. Her family I think believed it to be a phase she would outgrow, but when she married a stalwart member of my Faith, they knew it might be permanent and moved to undermine it. Since then, I dated another member of my Faith seriously who decided to reject me at least in part because she knew that I really meant it. I really think she wanted to go through the motions and look the part without really meaning it, which is pointless in my opinion.

Recently, these rejections came with more frequency. One of my students last fall came to visit me several times for extra help. After we finished our discussion of the course material, the discussion turned elsewhere, and she ended up telling me every time we met how much she detested members of my Faith. Eventually, I revealed my affiliation, and I never saw her again in my office. Another former student wrote me a kind note in which she expressed confusion as to why my faith and my Faith caused so many problems because it should create admirers. She opined the fact that people write me off easily because it's difficult to find a person with such a connection to God or who is a man of Faith. Without her permission, I quote a portion of her remarks here: "They are fools if they do not realize the loss of such a great man as you." I will be humble, for I know my weakness, but I am no longer convinced that most of the people who claim to be looking for a great guy really are. Or at least, my Faith is what gets in the way.

Any of you who read anything I write here know better. For the better part of the past six months, the veritable majority of posts deal with faith and the Faith. I don't parade my actual affiliation around, because that's between me and my Maker. However, for all of those who persecute me and say mean things about me, they will eventually know that they subjected me to a most unchristian treatment. If I really were in error, what would Christ ask them to do? Would He ask them to spitefully use me and persecute me? Would He have them cast me off? Would He endorse their campaign to slander me and paint me as a miscreant? Would he berate me? He would try to reclaim me, to persuade me to repent and realign myself with His will. The Master Physician goes to those who are spiritually sick. In other words, He certainly wouldn't cut off someone like me. Even if I'm wrong, I'm at least looking for Him.

In some cases, I know I am paying for the sins of other members of my Faith. I don't know who offended these people, but I know that some members of my Faith are Jack Mormons and others are Jacket Mormons. The former know better and don't care; the latter put on a show when it's convenient and then take off the tenants like a jacket when they get home. One woman I tried to date had been sexually mistreated by a member of my Faith. One city in Austria was forbidden because of inappropriate behavior by a missionary years before I arrived. If I had done something unworthy or that needed correction, the righteous thing to do would be to call me to repent. Every Faith suffers under the burden of miscreants and malcontents who claim to be members. Far too many people however do not apparently recognize that they are members of their own Faiths only when it's convenient and reject those who mean their Faiths because it makes them uncomfortable.

We have been taught that by their fruits they shall be known. While I don't preach, teach, expound, exhort, and invite men to come to Christ in class because it's inappropriate during a chemistry lecture, I do reach out and encourage and uplift and inspire outside of class. Former students and coworkers and other associates, some of whom read this blog, can attest that in my free time I discuss the same things that I discuss here. I only wear one hat because I don't portend to be someone else in different company. Some people are perhaps surprised to learn my Faith because I know the Bible better than they do even though they think we don't use it or believe in it. Nothing could be further from the truth (as far as the Faith generally).
"Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles? Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit. A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire. Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them" (Matt 7:15-20).
Whether they want to admit it or not, my first religious outreach to most people is not to turn them to my Faith but to turn them to their God and His Christ. I have told people who since rejected me to listen to God because He is the only being without an ulterior motive. How could I be a false prophet if I turn them to God for advice? How could I preach of Christ, prophecy of Christ, rejoice in Christ, and write according to my prophecies if I was anti-Christ? When the Apostles faced this same opposition after Christ's ascension, Gamaliel warned the rest of the Pharisees:
"And now I say unto you, Refrain from these men, and let them alone: for if this counsel or this work be of men, it will come to nought: But if it be of God, ye cannot overthrow it; lest haply ye be found even to fight against God" (Acts 5:38-29).
If I were a corrupt tree, would God still leave me there to deceive you? Would my words still work and still echo? Hardly. If I were a corrupt tree, would I turn people to God and to Christ? Christ himself tells us that those good fruits must come from good trees. God has promised to cut down what runs contrary to Him like the examples Gamiliel gave immediately prior to the citation used. Instead, He has preserved my life several times and prospered me in every way that is not under the control of other men.

Instead of using persuasion, gentleness, meekness, and love unfeigned, those who hate me exercise power and authority unrighteously, reproving me with sharpness for my Faith and then abandoning me to the winds of fate. That isn't what Christ did to Peter; He had compassion on him. He continued to love him. He strove with him. He certainly didn't cut him off and treat him like someone He never knew. We have been commanded not to cut off from the midst of us those who err. "Nevertheless, ye shall not cast him out of your synagogues, or your places of worship, for unto such shall ye continue to minister; for ye know not but what they will return and repent, and come unto me with full purpose of heart, and I shall heal them; and ye shall be the means of bringing salvation unto them" (3 NE 18:42) Does that sound like the practice of a false Faith to you? We minister with the hope that men will turn to Christ, yet "christians" consider me anti-Christ.

I expect as a follower of Christ to be persecuted, yet somehow I'm surprised when it actually happens. I have met some of the most unchristian "Christians" who oppose what I do, not because they disagree with the principle, but because they disagree with the messenger. It's ok to believe and say and think as I do as long as I am any other Faith except the one to which I belong. The bigotry I encounter regularly because of my Faith astounds my friends, because they realize that it's who I am, that I really mean it. CS Lewis warned Screwtape of people like these. If he cannot tempt men to be connoisseurs of churches, then he drives them to party churches where the people draw near to God with their lips while their hearts are far from Him, to ones who teach for doctrines the commandments of men and deny the power of God. The people do not know they are being deceived or sometimes they don't care. Some people I have met are so convinced they are doing God's work that they assume His role and usurp His power (for a time at least) and then pat themselves on the back for their virtue. There is no virtue in using the adversary's method to achieve the Father's plan.

As for me, I do not believe in compelling anyone to do anything good against their will. If it is good, then they should decide to do it. The people with whom I get along well in this world are not people who are virtuous constantly but people who are consistent even when not virtuous. They are honest with me, and that means I know what to expect and what to avoid and how to associate with them. Eventually, some of those people reject me too, and I know why. Christ warned His disciples what to expect: "If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you" (John 15:19). My late friend once told me "You'd be perfect if not for your religion"; she wanted me to abandon my beliefs for her comfort, and I cannot leave my God who has never abandoned me. God has always had my back, even when He forces me to wait longer than I like for what I know I deserve.

One of the points of this blog was so that there would be zero doubt in the minds of the reader who I am and what I believe. I expect as I move forward to have people slander and libel me. They will "darken counsels by words without knowledge" (Job 38:3). In that day, I will turn them here and let them read for themselves what I say and compare that to how I live. I am not perfect. I am also not ashamed of my beliefs. They make me who I am. If I abandon them, I cease to be me. You may not like me, but at least you will know where I stand and what to expect when the time comes to choose because I really mean it. I have noticed lately that my posts are becoming redundant. It's because I really mean it. I really think it. I really am what I profess to be. By my fruits ye shall know me as God does- as one of His valiant sons.

1 comment:

Yulia Shmatkova said...

Please, don't change, I love your spirit. Wish you success in everything.
P.S. I never received your questions.