30 April 2008

Buccaneer Theory of Economics

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As I listen to critiques of Senator Clinton's (D-NY) economic plan to fund all of her programs, I realize it all boils down to them stealing money from some and giving it to others. In a quote back in a February 19th running of the Mark Levin Show, she said she would "take back" money from certain companies as a means to alleviate program costs. How can she take back what was never hers? I used to think that Liberal economic policy followed the Robin Hood Theory of Economics, but now I realize they want us to think that's how it is: robbing from an evil rich prince to give to the noble poor. When they dress it up like Robin Hood, it gives a wicked idea a pallatable and amenable facelift.

Weighing the subject further this morning, I determined that Liberal economic policy follows more the persuasion of the buccaneer. As with Robin Hood, the buccaneer takes treasure that does not belong to him, either under veiled threats of vandalism or at the point of a sword backed up with the smoke of powder and shot. As opposed to Robin Hood, the buccaneer does not live in squalor and target only the ignoble rich; he treats his victims with complete equity, killing men, women and children alike, unlike Robin Hood who in many retellings permitted men of the cloth and some nobles to retain their wares. Nobles feared Robin Hood for how his actions threatened their station; everyone feared buccaneers for their savage barbarism. The buccaneer theory practized by Liberals relies on certain principles that I will now enumerate using illustrations from the Pirates of the Caribbean movie.

1: They intend to leave everyone bereft
When they break into the prison and find Jack behind bars, two pirates comment on how when last they saw him, he was "all alone on a God-forsaken island shrinkin' into the distance. His fortunes aren't improved much". Liberal promises to help elevate your station mean very little. Like the pirates aboard ship, they're only interested in the accumulation of swag as quickly as possible that they can divvy among themselves. They don't, like Robin Hood, travel throughout the Caribbean slums spreading their spoils to those who need it. "Ten years of hoarding swag, and we finally get to spend it!" resounds in their holds. They intend to spend and frit away all that glitter to satisfy their own lusts. They may gain a letter of marque from the powers that be to prey upon ships ostensibly in the name of king and country, but in the end, during the 1600s everyone who came to America in the name of God, Glory and Gold, cared exclusively for Gold. Liberals may invoke the other two concepts, but in the end, they have always been behind efforts to extort goods from some for their personal benefit. If successful with her plans, the millions Senator Clinton mentions will primarily prop up large bureaucracies- with swarms of new officers tenured with retirement in their stations and unremovable by our wish, and very little residual if any will go toward the public good.

2. Their appetite for our money is insatiable
When telling Elizabeth about the cursed gold, Barbossa says that all the food, drink, and pleasureable company they could buy remained insufficient to "slake our lust". No matter how much they obtain, it's never enough. The federal budget currently stands at $1.4 Trillion- higher than any other nation and higher than ever before. Every portion of the budget includes increases over the previous budget (except perhaps Defense spending), but they complain when President Bush reduces the amount of increase from 11% to 5% and call it a cut. If your bank gave you a 5% return on your deposit, would YOU consider that a cut in your funds? They already control the mail, education, most of the public lands...they take up to 33% of your income as an individual and 45% if you're a corporation. When is enough enough?

3. Everything belongs to you if you can steal it
When meeting Gibbs on Tortuga, Jack toasts him before the venture with the phrases: "Take all you can. Give nothing back" tossed between the two. Furthermore, the pirates repeatedly steal each other's ships, like when Gibbs and company take back the Pearl while the other pirates attack the Dauntless. Liberals talk about windfall profits and greedy pharmaceutical companies taking your money. However, they're not interested in divvying it out to YOU if they manage to steal it. They don't aliquot back to those who buy gas the money taken by Evil Chevron. They are sending tax "rebates" to people who DIDN'T PAY A DIME IN TAXES! Many taxpayers get squat. No, in the end, if they get Chevron's profits, it will go into the paychecks of their friends at the new bureaucracies aforementioned or into some other project designed to buy votes for themselves in future elections.

4. Rules mean nothing
Complaining to the pirates after they retake the Pearl, Elizabeth tells them to "Hang the code, and hang the rules. They're more like guidelines anyway." We still wait for the Clinton tax returns to be made available despite promises from Senator Clinton to do so. Senator Obama by contrast (D-IL) released his. In that release, we find a grand sum of $3000 donated to charity of the $300,000 earned last year by his household. I give more than that to charity, and I hardly earn comparable wages. Moreover, he gave money to a racist and anti-American pastor. If I gave money to the Klu Klux Klan and then ran for office, would that be a big deal? You bet. Liberals can also make as much money as they wish, yet Michelle Obama tells black people they ought shun middle-classdom and remain poor. When a conservative makes money, he's evil.

5. When you lose utility, they abandon you
Asking Jack about orders he gave to Gibbs to "stick to the code", Jack tells Will, "He who falls behind gets left behind." Once Liberals suck dry an industry or individual of whatever capital they can accumulate, the move on like locusts to suck dry the next sector of the economy. If they can manage to initiate "universal healthcare", they will hang out to dry all the doctors and nurses whose jobs will become nationalized by reducing the amount of money they can make, thereby stringing out the time it takes to pay back medical school debt. Liberal economic policies remove the incentive to innovate and make money. They attack Big Pharma by advocating importation of Canadian drugs when Canadian companies invest zilch in research and development. Even more dastardly, I know from personal experience that Canadians engage in intellectual property theft. If they put caps on mortgage rates, banks will issue fewer loans and fewer people will get homes. If they put caps on agricultural commodities, fewer farmers will grow them, leading to food shortages. If they establish Grand Escalante National Monument-type programs over every natural resource or stricter environmental standards, our companies won't develop our own resources. Most of the companies mining gold in Nevada are owned by Canada.

Liberals prey upon everyone. They don't care how much swag you hold amidships; they only care that it's not currently in the hold of THEIR ship, and they, like the pirates of the Black Pearl will stop at nothing to get whatever they can. Remember the opening scene with the burning merchantmen left desolate and bereft of life as Barbossa and his crew of miscreants searched for that final coin to free them from their bondage. What of the bondage and misery their actions occassioned on others? Their single pursuit of their own aggrandizement left a wake of dead and dying. So too will any economic strategy put forth by a liberal, no matter how much they romanticize it in the garb of a Robin Hood.

Savvy?

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Codicle: The author of this article owns stock in many funds both singly as well as through a series of mutual funds, as do more likely than not every one of you.

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