A few weeks ago, after expressing a few opinions on some matters of varied theme, an observer turned to me and asked me if I hate women. Except for the fact that I value the opinion of that individual, I might have dismissed the question offhandedly as completely absurd. However, in thi instance I realized he had a point.
For some inexplicable reason, I felt inspired to watch My Fair Lady, and I was struck to writing this article based on something Henry Higgins says in the film. "Have you ever met a man of good character where women are concerned? ... Well, I haven't. I find the moment I let a woman make friends with me she becomes jealous, exacting, suspicious and a damn nuisance. And I find the moment I make friends with a woman, I become selfish and tyrannical. So here I am, a confirmed old bachelor, and likely to remain so." Odd as it struck me, I found myself in complete agreement with this fictitious character, which I will enumerate.
After a myriad of experiences with women where they automatically assume me to be a person of questionable character and ulterior motives, I expect women to conform to the lowest common denominator. I try to prove myself a man of high morale fiber and women suspect me of ulterior motives. Having had negative experiences with other men, they expect me to live down to their expectations. Sadly now so do I.
Even women who choose to speak with me fall into the categories suggested by Higgins. Even my sister and I had a spat not a few hours hence on a difference of opinion regarding morals and behavior. She begrudges me when I secure a date because she didn't. I'm not sure why; none of them have obviously led anywhere, my marital status considered.
Several years ago, I came out of a bad relationship with a woman. She also exhibited all of those traits. When people liked my company or asked my advice (particularly her parents) over hers, she exhibited an unparalleled jealousy. When I graduated with my BS and she had no degree, she resented it, notwithstanding I was older and she wasted time in school. As for her exacting demands, where first I made accommodations to show affection, she came to EXPECT certain favors and behaviors, and they were no longer considered marks of my favor. Although she said she catered to my beliefs, in the end she really only wanted me to validate hers through agreement and my condoning thereof.
My best friend was once surprised and put off when one night nature called and I left my instant messenger open and she accused him of being my secret girlfriend. One night we sat at a gas station and I stared at something she assumed it was the tramps adjacent. It took me quite a bit of persuasion to convince her that I honestly had simply been interested in the fact that the price on the station's large sign differed from the pump price. I even still have a wordpad document on this laptop I kept where she marked down some number that called my cell phone which she believed belonged to some other girl. Her suspicion knew no bounds.
As a result, I have grown cynical and bitter toward women. When I realized this, that same friend asked me not to let that women ruin every woman in my estimation. Where she once reigned over me in tyrannical fashion, I feel inclined to take charge and assert myself so as to not allow myself to be undermined later by an initial capitulation.
Since that relationship, which is the only committed relationship in which I've been that lasted longer than 10 days, I have largely focused on myself. I talk about what I want, do what I want, insist on my way, and stick to a litany of very picky criteria in women with whom I want to associate. I figure that if I'm going to get involved again, there are things I absolutely want and things I refuse to tolerate. I see myself slipping toward the patriarchal order in which the man is master, which is not really what I want. Even worse, until this month, I had resolved myself completely to a solitary celibacy given my dismal success with dating. I even chose a vocation that will practically vouchsafe me against the forging of any relationships with women.
I want a partner. I want someone who completes me, who elevates me, and who loves me for who I am at my core. I do not really want to be alone.
However I fear, since that's not up to me and since I have had such dismal luck in this regard, that my former predilections shall prove true in the end.
For some inexplicable reason, I felt inspired to watch My Fair Lady, and I was struck to writing this article based on something Henry Higgins says in the film. "Have you ever met a man of good character where women are concerned? ... Well, I haven't. I find the moment I let a woman make friends with me she becomes jealous, exacting, suspicious and a damn nuisance. And I find the moment I make friends with a woman, I become selfish and tyrannical. So here I am, a confirmed old bachelor, and likely to remain so." Odd as it struck me, I found myself in complete agreement with this fictitious character, which I will enumerate.
After a myriad of experiences with women where they automatically assume me to be a person of questionable character and ulterior motives, I expect women to conform to the lowest common denominator. I try to prove myself a man of high morale fiber and women suspect me of ulterior motives. Having had negative experiences with other men, they expect me to live down to their expectations. Sadly now so do I.
Even women who choose to speak with me fall into the categories suggested by Higgins. Even my sister and I had a spat not a few hours hence on a difference of opinion regarding morals and behavior. She begrudges me when I secure a date because she didn't. I'm not sure why; none of them have obviously led anywhere, my marital status considered.
Several years ago, I came out of a bad relationship with a woman. She also exhibited all of those traits. When people liked my company or asked my advice (particularly her parents) over hers, she exhibited an unparalleled jealousy. When I graduated with my BS and she had no degree, she resented it, notwithstanding I was older and she wasted time in school. As for her exacting demands, where first I made accommodations to show affection, she came to EXPECT certain favors and behaviors, and they were no longer considered marks of my favor. Although she said she catered to my beliefs, in the end she really only wanted me to validate hers through agreement and my condoning thereof.
My best friend was once surprised and put off when one night nature called and I left my instant messenger open and she accused him of being my secret girlfriend. One night we sat at a gas station and I stared at something she assumed it was the tramps adjacent. It took me quite a bit of persuasion to convince her that I honestly had simply been interested in the fact that the price on the station's large sign differed from the pump price. I even still have a wordpad document on this laptop I kept where she marked down some number that called my cell phone which she believed belonged to some other girl. Her suspicion knew no bounds.
As a result, I have grown cynical and bitter toward women. When I realized this, that same friend asked me not to let that women ruin every woman in my estimation. Where she once reigned over me in tyrannical fashion, I feel inclined to take charge and assert myself so as to not allow myself to be undermined later by an initial capitulation.
Since that relationship, which is the only committed relationship in which I've been that lasted longer than 10 days, I have largely focused on myself. I talk about what I want, do what I want, insist on my way, and stick to a litany of very picky criteria in women with whom I want to associate. I figure that if I'm going to get involved again, there are things I absolutely want and things I refuse to tolerate. I see myself slipping toward the patriarchal order in which the man is master, which is not really what I want. Even worse, until this month, I had resolved myself completely to a solitary celibacy given my dismal success with dating. I even chose a vocation that will practically vouchsafe me against the forging of any relationships with women.
I want a partner. I want someone who completes me, who elevates me, and who loves me for who I am at my core. I do not really want to be alone.
However I fear, since that's not up to me and since I have had such dismal luck in this regard, that my former predilections shall prove true in the end.
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