About a year ago, a friend of mine paid me what I consider a great compliment and told me that she respected me because I do not change to please the jury. Many people in our society value acceptance over substance, popularity over respect, and fame over duty. So many in fact abide by those principles that on those frequent occasions when I stand on principle, I often stand alone, despite the presence of individuals in those assemblages who purport themselves as allies and advocates of the cause I endorse.
Last week, some of the girls in the class I teach Monday night told me that I should buy a new car. Why do they care if I do or not? It does not change our relationship as I remain their teacher whether I ride a bike or arrive in a Cessna. What we have does not change who we are unless we let it.
You’ve heard many times about the follies of keeping up with the Joneses, and before I forget, let me share with you an interesting video I found on another blog I follow. Cleverdude points out a line from the video:
Stop trying to keep up with the Joneses, cause they’re broke
I keep using in my posts, and I will continue to use it although I cannot remember where it comes from, the phrase:
Spending money we don’t have to buy things we don’t need to impress people we don’t like
And it’s on this that I’d like to focus my remarks.
Stop trying to impress other people. It really bothers me that people my age continue to put value in possessions instead of substance, on appearance instead of value. This is both my boon and bane, that I don’t do things to impress other people, because with all due respect, they don’t matter a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someone once said that your real friends know all about you and like you anyway. If you spend your substance trying to buy friends, love, promotions, and respect, then on some future “Life’s Yearbook Day”, you’ll find the pages of your soul filled with a lot of empty fluff. “Have a nice afterlife.” “Keep off the brimstone.”
What would you really want to have if no one was there to judge you? What would you want to be? How would you act? I can say with candid certainty that I’m okay with the person I am and so is God.
2 comments:
To reference a thought from the movie Fight Club, "You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet."
It is true that what you have does not represent who you are as a person. Most people fall into this line of thought, hoping that if they can just get the attention of the opposite sex, the chances of them getting to know each other on that deeper level will improve. Kinda like peacocks. Not entirely false, but our society puts too much weight into these outward appearances. This is what I believe to be a major factor in failed marriages: people falling in love with an illusion, instead of a friend they can trust.
Some people will like you no matter what, and some people won't like you no matter what.
I know about attention grabbers, and the people whose opinion matters to me encourage the changes so that I have a better shot. My ex used to complain that I was a different person, but I told her that I was always me, whatever it was she imagined me to be. People who really know me at all know that. I make no pretenses. It means I miss opportunities, but I also avoid coverups.
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