Although I do not think they mean it this way, I think I discovered the secret to how one can 'support the troops without supporting the mission'. In this post, I wish to clarify that this in no way unjustly ascribes this virtue to people who spout that line; they prove how they believe by how they treat other men. The ability to love a person without loving what they do comes when we learn to separate the behavior from the human being and love the human being irrespective of their behavior. As we come to understand and internalize that concept, that we can love a person without loving their behavior, it empowers us and frustrates their efforts to annoy us and have power over us.
When the mob brought the woman taken in adultery before Christ, he ignored their premise. I rather suspect that he was smiling inside the entire time he doodled in the dust, because this was a win-win scenario for everyone who was willing and able to learn. The woman would have mercy; the mob would learn wisdom; Jesus would change their lives by changing their hearts. Naturally, he loved them all. He loved the crowd for their zeal but because he loved them he also desired that things for them should be better, and so he looked forward to this teaching opportunity. As for the woman, he loved who she was, who she really could be, and consequently he condemned only her behavior and sent her on her way.
We talk all the time about how 'everyone's human'. When it comes to our mistakes, we excuse ourselves for our humanity; when people offend us, we take it personally. When someone cuts us off in traffic, we signal our intent with our hands. When we cut off someone in traffic, we act as if we have center of the universe syndrome- that everyone else exists to play a role as supporting cast. I have hanging just inside my front door a picture of Spock with the subtitle: "Remember- Humans are not logical". It has helped me several times in the week since I hung it up to digest the contumelies with which I am faced in life. We are human. We will make mistakes. What makes the difference is whether or not you let your mistakes make you.
I surprised the secretary in the office this week with a conversation while surprising myself. When she told me that she appreciated me because she could tell I really care, I told her that if I really care about someone, I desire that they should be somewhere other than here with someone other than me. You see, I know my weaknesses, and since I am ill-inclined to correct some of them, if I care about you I desire that you have as friend, fiancee, or whatever else someone who is inclined to and capable of and interested in being a better man than I. Also, if I care about you, I do not desire that you languish here in physical, emotional, or spiritual pain. That is selfish. If I really care about you, I hope for your quick death, not because I don't like you, but because that is the shortest path to your eternal, lasting, and full reward for your life. You see, I am not living for this world, and my reward is not here. When I arrive in that next life, I rather suspect I will be somewhat average if not someone with catching up to do.
One night this week, a friend of mine came by for a visit. He told me that he was surprised I am his friend given his past. You see, before that night I didn't really know about his past, but he was measuring his past against mine without considering the different circumstances that brought about our lives. I think he might have expected upon the telling of his tale that I would kick him out of my house and unfriend him. He should know me better than that.
Just as the beard is not the man, the sin is not the man. Human beings are amazing creatures. Now, many of us do justify our own improprieties based on our failings. In doing so, we candidly admit that the behavior is common but not something that necessarily changes our nature. Habits change our nature, and for every sinner who repents, there is more joy in heaven than over the ninety and nine just persons who need no repentance. Now, I don't know 99 people who need no repentance, so the heavens must be very joyous. Although my friend spoke as if I were the exemplar by which he defines a successful life, I told him that as he repents, he is the success story. Don't follow me; follow Christ, and if you end up like me, you'll be ok. There is a good reason why Christ taught the parable of the prodigal son. Our nature does not change by our behavior. The son was still the son of his father. When he contritely returned and sought the comfort and assistance of his father, he was welcomed home without question.
Learn to frankly forgive. Learn to love the sinner, not for what he does, but for who he is. As we gain understanding of the eternal nature of the soul, we understand why the prodigal was welcomed home and why a soldier can be loved and supported despite what he does. Like the prodigal, he is also someone's son, someone's brother, and sometimes someone's father. At his root, he is a human being, which is the most precious resource in the universe according to our Creator. I am sure that my goodness pleases my Father in Heaven. How much more pleasure then must it give Him when you love the sinner? "Nevertheless, ye shall not cast him out of your synagogues, or your places of worship, for unto such shall ye continue to minister; for ye know not but what they will return and repent, and come unto me with full purpose of heart, and I shall heal them; and ye shall be the means of bringing salvation unto them." We can be the means of saving some other soul.
The greatest work in which we can be engaged in this life is to save the souls of our fellow men. I challenge you to look for the good in mankind, in his nature, in his being, and in his potential. As you catch the vision of that, it will help them to see it as well, and perhaps some of them will be inspired to rise to the occasion and live their potential. I rather suspect that one reason why 'cheaters don't change' comes from the fact that nobody cares about them enough to help them change. When they come into our homes or lives and expose the truths about their past, we kick them out and unfriend them. If we cannot be allowed to leave the past in the past when we become new men, we in essence lose our hope for the future. I testify that change is possible. I testify that Christ makes new men with recycled exterior facades. I have learned how to love the sinner, because I know that his sin is never really against me. God sometimes asks things of men so they can prove their worth; they might not do as well as I would like or expect, but He knows what He's doing, and I can salute the office without saluting how the man officiating therein acts. Sin is not our nature, or at least it must not be so, and that is the good news of the gospel- that we can become something other than we are today through Christ.
1 comment:
Agreed. I also think I might add that we ought to love the sinner (not the sin) -- for who he is but also for who he (and we) can become.
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