Make the Case For It

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Over the last several days, I have been reminded of a pet peeve. Many people defend or define things by telling me what they are not. "What is cold?" "It's not hot". "What is rich?" "It's not poor". "Why do you like so-and-so?" "Because he's not like my ex." Tell us why you like it by making the case for it.

Unless you can tout the virtues and qualities of something, I am not sure you really understand or value it. I like my house because it's close enough to work, has enough yard, has a really cool loft I converted to a library, and was cheap enough that I can afford it working at Del Taco. I like my car because it's fuel efficient, paid for, cheap to operate, and gets me reliably from A to B. It would be silly to say that I like my house because it's not a mobile home or not in a different neighborhood, because that's true of MANY homes. Likewise, it would be silly to say I like my car because it's not a Fiat or a rusted out hulk. These comparisons are not sufficient.

Frequently when people try to sell me something, a product or an idea or a person, they do so by telling me that it's not what I currently have. Yes, I know that. Your argument is invalid. Tell me why I would want to acquire it or support it because otherwise what reason have I to change my mind? It is not really a quality to 'not be something'; that's a LACK of a quality. My ex employer, former wife, or old house are no longer mine anymore, and I do not necessarily need or value them or else I might still have them, in which case I wouldn't need your product, service or politician, because I'd already have something that wasn't like the car or house or job I currently have.

I have never heard anyone say they knew their wife was right for them because she wasn't like their ex. That might be true, but they usually list a group of character traits that equate to what they value in the person. If it was about what a thing is not, then it would be equally valuable to date and marry a pencil, a can of orange juice, (or a pillow). This kind of thinking sabotages thought, sabotages people, places, and things, to make them scapegoats. They are trying to hide the flaws in what they want to sell you, and they know it, which is why they cannot show how it is better.

Red Herrings were created to distract us from where we should place our attention. It's never that what people want us to buy or believe has any problems; those things are perfect. What we have or desire or believe is flawed, and they have something better. Of course it's flawed; everything created by man, who is flawed, will be flawed. Show me how it's better. It must be a win-win, or no deal.

Ask people to make the case for why they support with three fundamental legs of argument that define what a thing is. People will foment this year about how particular politicians or policies are good because Romney is not Santorum, Gingrich, or Obama, but we must ask what he really is. People will argue that the policies of the GOP are bad because they will hurt seniors or the poor or the unemployed. Ask how the policies of the DEMs will help those people. Doing no harm is different from doing good. Not being a bad person is different from being a good one. Do not get caught up in 'good' when we can upgrade to 'better' or 'best'.

When people sell you something, remember that they're not necessarily doing it because it's in your best interest. All of these work at home ideas like Mary Kay or Service Merchandise or Tahitian Noni directly benefit the seller more than they do you. Your friends come to sell you knives or vitamins or subscriptions, not because they know you need them, but because they desire to get paid. They have something to get from it, and it is usually far greater than the benefit you will receive. They are looking out for their interests, which is why it's all the more important to ask them to prove to you why it will help you, not just how it can.

Just because a thing can be good doesn't follow that it must be the case. However, the more data you have, the better decision you can make about whether or not an idea, a product, or a policy is right and best for you. To suggest that other people, especially if they do not know you or do not like you, really have your best interests in mind seems silly to me. Ask them to prove it.