Look for the Good in Them

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I frequently think, truth be told, about the exchange between Polyanna and the Pastor in the movie Polyanna. I think it's also kind of funny that people choose to think I am haughty, arrogant, or judgmental, especially compared to them or other people they know. Frankly, I think I'm just as opinionated as other people; I just choose to share my opinions more frequently than you do. What it tells me about them might be that they don't know me as well as they think they do.

There are times in my life when my communiques sound harsh and times when they are lauditory. Depending on when you catch me and what you hear or read of my entire oratory may color your opinion of how I view people. Actually, I don't think people are arrogant or dumb or stupid. I think that things they do are that, but the people themselves are much more and usually made of better stuff. I think we did ourselves a disservice when we allowed our children to believe that little boys are made of frogs and snails and puppy-dog tails. Back in February, I said this in a chat conversation: "Other people manufacture labels to describe us quickly without having to get to know us. Each man is far too complicated in his facets to be so accurately distilled." Furthermore, in the preface of my copy of CS Lewis's 1963 edition of the Screwtape Letters, Lewis talks about how if you take away all that is good in man, you are not left with a bad man. You are left with nothing at all. I am quite confident I have written that on this blog before, because I BELIEVE IT.

Sometimes it takes more effort to see the good in folks. I will admit that it took me years to see the 'good' in the fact that I was divorced. As a consequence of that unfortunate chapter of my life, I drew closer to the Savior, and in that sense, it was a blessing disguised as a trial for which I am very grateful. Ironically as well, I have thanked the people who were my very greatest challenges in life in the forward to one of my books, because without them, I might be a different person, and I'm happy with who I am.

As the pastor tells Polyanna, "we looked for the good in them, and we found it". You have to want to find something in order to look for it. For that reason, it seems that seeing the good in mankind is nothing more than a matter of taking the time to look. We look for good things in people we want to get to know because we hope it's there. We look for rainbows after it rains because we hope the sun will come out. We look for milestones on journeys because we hope we're almost there. We look at our retirement portfolios and statements because we hope we will have enough money. We hope for good things at the end, even though we might know exactly what we deserve.

In December 2009, a woman I once knew spoke with me about what I 'deserve'. I think that's rather illuminating in light of the fact that other people are critical of me, for I am more cognizant than you all of my weaknesses. A few years back I put to memory the poem, "I will be true", and in that it reminds me "I will be humble, for I know my weakness." How we choose to spin what we say tells us much about how we are inside. Perhaps that's why Jesus was concerned about those who point out the mote in the eye of their brother and ignore the beam in their own eye. Maybe they're just attuned to see those things when other people see other things.

Nobody writes down everything he thinks, says, and feels. Rarely do people record their dreams, their secret desires, and their honest errors. Much of what is quoted is either misattributed or taken out of context. When someone tells you something, consider their motivation. Even the best compendiums of thought are produced by interested albeit disaffected individuals long after the speaker dies.

In his funeral oration, Marc Antony opines that "the evil that men do lives after them [while] the good is oft interred with their bones". What we point out and why tells us much about our true motivations. The conspirators were trying to justify their aberrant and abhorrent behavior- they had just murdered Caesar in cold blood! Marc Antony wanted justice for his friend and power for himself. Shakespeare wanted us to see the tragedy in the struggle for power.

Allow me, if you will, to close with the words of CS Lewis from "The Weight of Glory":

There are no 'ordinary' people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilisations -- these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub and exploit.

Just a few days ago perhaps, I wrote that each of you, even if I don't happen to like you very much, are amazing. As Shakespeare wrote:

What a piece of work is a man, how noble in reason, how infinite in faculties, in form and moving how express and admirable, in action how like an angel, in apprehension how like a god! the beauty of the world, the paragon of animals (Hamlet Act II Scene ii)

Each of you is a glorious and wonderful being. Sometimes you do dumb things. I know I have and probably still will. There is much more to you than that, and I hope you will believe that and know it as your Creator knows it about you. For that reason, He provided a Savior, so that all who will may return to His presence.

And that is a good thing indeed!