Neighborhood and Neighbors

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I live in a fairly quiet neighborhood. It's fairly representative of America in terms of demographics. Members of the HOA presidency even monitor the homes that are being rented or in various stages of foreclosure and keep tabs on the residents so we know what might be coming. They even remember my name.

Last night while walking back from the mailbox, Jim, who is the treasurer, approached me. We discussed his tree, his cars, and the neighborhood, in which he has lived since the house was built over a decade ago. He mentioned previous owners and current neighbors, and as we spoke, he attracted other people who came up to him to find out what was going on. Jim pointed out that my house numeral wasn't lighting up and that he knew why because he had just repaired his the previous month. He even offered to come over and help me get it back up to snuff. It was a pleasant experience.

The America of today is rather void of this type of neighbor and neighborhood. We don't really know the people who live next door sometimes or we don't care to know more than we happen to discover. Our neighbors are complete strangers and might as well be in another nation for all the good it does to have them. Heaven forbid our neighbors ask for our help!

Real neighborhood is about real community. While politicians and pundits talk of communal living, it's real relationships that allow for communities to arise. Many people want us to do it regardless for who is there or their circumstances. How many people, however, voluntarily help strangers? We usually help people we know, and usually only people for whom we care. In order to care, you must first get to know folks, which means that we need to confess that life isn't about us. So many people, particularly in my generation, have Center of the Universe Syndrome (CotUS) and think everything revolves around them. Trouble is that when trouble rises, folks with CotUS rarely have anyone revolve around them at all.

For some reason, my mind is drawn to Frank Capra's "Its a Wonderful Life". Look at the difference between how Potter's bank and the Savings and Loan handle their customers. For Potter, he cares little for their struggles because he doesn't know them. It's only really possible to mistreat other people when you do not know them, care about them, or see them. That's usually why burglars rob random strangers. They're not hurting anyone for or about whom they care, at least not directly. The Bailey's, by contrast, are willing to grant extensions and trade in bartered goods because the people with whom they deal are real people to them.

People desire to be real. It wasn't just Pinocchio who opined to cast off his wooden self to become a real boy. We look for politicians, leaders, coworkers, and particularly mates with whom we can be our real selves and who are ok with who we really are. Community relies on reality, and reality involves real people who teach other people how to make things real for themselves.

I'm still pretty independent, and so I am probably not going to ask Jim for his help. Still, it was nice to know that he first of all remembered my name and then second of all offered something of himself to make our small corner of the world a better place. For the first time since I moved in, this place kind of feels like a home.