Out, Out Brief Candle

Share

The rumors were confirmed today that a terminally ill coworker is fast approaching the point where she will shuffle off her mortal coil. While she had been absent, unbeknownst to me, for several weeks, she is not expected to return or recover. I did not know this because she, like me, is also a supervisory scientist, and as such she reports to my boss not to me. As I considered her loss, even though I did not know her well, I feel like I have lost something. I really liked her, and she has a wealth of knowledge that will soon simply vanish.

Quite frankly, I am surprised that she worked up until she literally could not any more. Were I in her position, I think I would have used some of the time to enjoy my family. She leaves behind a husband, some children, and some grandchildren. Her disease is taking her earlier than the normal person normally leaves mortality, and the reports from my boss were that she wishes she had more time with her loved ones to actually do things.

While I understand you might want to work and keep busy, this has precipitated discussion with other of the staff. Our department tends towards the older side of the age spectrum. The next youngest is about four years my senior and then the next beyond that is almost ten years older than I. In five years, the entire face of the department could change completely and leave me as one of the old timers, my young age notwithstanding. One of the other supervisors was approached by her husband who requested she think about separation to spend time with her children and grandchild. She has been particularly stressed by events of late and has been considering quitting for several years.

As I consider the transitory nature of our mortal sojourn, of course I think of Shakespeare. Life is but a walking shadow, a poor player who struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more. Are our tales like his told by idiots, or do we do things with our time that matter? What matters to us? I venture that my coworker discovered as I, in my young and ignorant state, supposed that what really matters are the people who are close to us.

Last Sunday, I told my brother that I'd like to take him and his new wife out to dinner. I don't really know her very well, and we've kind of disconnected. Ok, so maybe it won't change the world or cure cancer or feed Ethiopians, but it might help them to feel like I am interested and care. A cousin of mine sent me an email Wednesday night very late (tsk tsk, you shouldn't be up that late!) with a line of great praise. I told him that while it didn't change what was true about me being a good person that he said it, sometimes it was nice to hear it.

It's nice to know, however briefly, that someone else cares about you. It's even more desirable to have someone who cares for you. If you are lucky enough to have someone in your life who loves and cares for you, tell them. Don't wait to tell someone you love how you feel until they are at death's door. Tell them you love them and respect them when you feel those things about them. Our significant others like to know that they are significant to us and why.

If, like I, you have nobody close per se, look for opportunities to serve other random folks. I am convinced that a large majority of aberrant and abhorrent behavior results because people crave attention and love. They will accept pyrite if they must, and so if you can do nice things for them without an ulterior motive, they will feel the energy and look for better and truer forms of attention.

Almost 12 years ago, I visited a town in Europe where stands a statue of Jesus Christ without hands. I know some of my readers have heard this story from someone else, but my sister can testify that she heard it from me before Dieter Uchtdorf told it. During World War II, the town was repeatedly bombed by allied planes trying to hit the steel factory located nearby. After the war ended, the villagers rebuilt the statue along with the rest of their town. Some parts were mangled, and the hands so much so that they held a meeting to see what should be done about it. They finally decided not to replace the hands but to set a plaque at the base of the statue that reads, "Jesus has no hands but our own." We are His hands. God hears us and He watches over us, but it is often through another person that He meets our needs.

We need not be nor allow others to feel they are poor players in this life. CS Lewis wrote that if you take away all that is good in man you are not left with a bad man. If you take away all that is good in him, you are left with nothing at all. Each of you are glorious, and wonderful, and amazing. You defy statistics and science and psychology that you live and breathe and have your being. You are miracles, and you can be the miracle in the lives of others around you. I challenge you to treat the people you meet as if they will be dead by midnight. I promise you that as you strive to do so, it will elevate their lives and bring back blessings on your own. I promise that you will be happier, more peaceful, and more productive, and the life you save might be your own.