Over the past few years, I have been frequently disappointed by people. They have told me that they value or stand for such and such only to make choices that show the complete opposite. As I wrestled with an answer for this, I came to the conclusion that their words were declarations of things they value but not necessarily of values they already have. People are willing to stand for and go after a lot of things as long as it doesn't cost them anything.
When opposition mounts, the sunshine saints, fairweather friends and parade patriots shrink back into the shadows. It's easy to stand for what you 'believe' when you are surrounded by like-minded individuals. It is hard, when you face a Moreish trial and stand before Parliament, condemned to the block because you will not sign a document and let King Henry VIII do whatever he pleases.
What these people actually mean when they say they stand for something or appreciate or value it in me is that it is what they prefer. Given an ideal world, that is what they would like to have be true. However, there are powerful forces in this world arrayed contrary to what should be, and they pressure other people to prefer particular points of view rather than the ones they honestly mean. I am routinely criticised for being honest and telling people what I actually think. I learned years ago when I was married that if I am going to be in trouble no matter what that I might as well be honest up front, because then I am at least true to myself.
While preferences change with time or circumstance and break under pressure, convictions strengthen under pressure. I absolutely love Sir Thomas More. Besides the dramatization of his life in "A Man For All Seasons", I also bought the Last Letters of Thomas More and Statesman and Saint, both of which detail the facts upon which the former film is based. I would like to think that if we were peers, this man and I would have been contemporaries if not friends. Like Daniel of Israel under Nebuchadnezzar before him, he refused to worship the King's law as if it were divine.
Conviction is what you believe when there is nobody else to ask and everything to lose. Your convictions are the things you really believe, the things that matter most to you, and the things on which you are, like Daniel and Thomas, willing to bet your life. They are tested, tempered, and tried by the following phenomenon:
1. Family Pressure
Your family is often your closest confidence. They are those you have trusted and loved from the time of your first cognisance. You try very hard, especially if you are Christian, to please them and bring honor to them. However, as Abraham can tell you, not all parents or parental and familial wishes are good and brave and true. Abraham's father worshiped idols. Perhaps your parent breaks other laws of morality. When your family brings its weight to bear against you, it can be a difficult situation. While you love them and respect them, you also love yourself and value things that perhaps they do not, either because they are not willing to value or are unaware of things they should value. Family pressure has broken many wills of people I know and for whom I care, and it is a tragedy of the highest order to hurt someone while you tell them you love them.
2. Peer Pressure
For many youth, which is the primary age bracket with which I have thus far largely interacted, a major source of affirmation and confirmation comes from their friends. For adults, it comes from affiliations in employment, recreation, and religion. None of them know what is best for you, because none of them know you as well as you know yourself. Also, they frequently have things contrary to your actual happiness in mind, because if you join them in their decadence, they feel validated by a large group of like-minded individuals. Depending on age and the strength of other relationships, peer pressure can be incredibly strong and break what we might feel to be a conviction.
3. Government Penalties
Penal codes, threats, and military action have been tools of fear against men since the dawn of government. Like Thomas Paine so eloquently wrote, the origin and rise of government stems from an inability of moral virtue to govern the world. Men of morality infrequently desire to rule. Ergo, many of the edicts, penalties, and fines imposed by governments are harsh, punitive and feared. Ask anyone you like what they feel about the IRS. Most people will go to any length to avoid punishments by their governments.
4. Threat on Life
Sometimes you will find a John Hancock, Samuel Adams, Daniel of Israel or Thomas More who will resist wickedness in high places under threat of death. Most people, if they are intellectually honest with themselves, want to live and let live. The government holds power over life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, and it can easily and frequently succeeds at breaking convictions through threats on life. Aside from government, other forces threaten your life, which is why we fear guns, the mafia, pirates, gangs, car accidents, poison, global warming, and a slieu of other threats, both real and imagined that paralyze us against doing what we know we should and honestly choose otherwise.
Your convictions are not things that change with fads, friends, or informatics. Your convictions are a reflection of the things you really value. When everyone around you tells you that you are wrong and you stick to your principles anyway, then and only then do you know that the convictions are your own. It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies, but it takes a great deal more to stand up against your friends. You care about them and believe they care about you. If they really care, even if they disagree, true friends will love you and stand by you no matter what you do.
For my own part, issues of virtue and morality are not so ephemeral that they are subject to change as if parts of my wardrobe or vocabulary. They define who and what I am. Naturally, I also prefer them, but I have been willing to lose a lot for the things that I believe. It has been hard, and I wish that I could tell you that the rewards were obvious and plentiful. Sometimes, the only advantage is that, as I did last night, I get a good night's rest and get out of bed recharged for another day. At the end of the day, I have to live with myself. I am the only person with whom I spend twenty four hours per day, and if I am not true to myself, how can I be true to anyone else or live with myself?
I will be true, for there are those who trust me.
I will be pure, for there are those who care.
I will be strong, for there is much to suffer.
I will be brave, for there is much to dare.
I will be friend to all, the foe, the friendless.
I will be giving and forget the gift.
I will be humble, for I know my weakness.
I will look up and love and laugh and live.
Most people are alive, but only those who stand by their convictions, even if it leads to their death truly live. Stand by your convictions. Although in the moment it may cost you friendships, romance, wealth, power, freedom, or security, in the end, it is he who acts with integrity of heart who wins a place in our hearts and history books.
When opposition mounts, the sunshine saints, fairweather friends and parade patriots shrink back into the shadows. It's easy to stand for what you 'believe' when you are surrounded by like-minded individuals. It is hard, when you face a Moreish trial and stand before Parliament, condemned to the block because you will not sign a document and let King Henry VIII do whatever he pleases.
What these people actually mean when they say they stand for something or appreciate or value it in me is that it is what they prefer. Given an ideal world, that is what they would like to have be true. However, there are powerful forces in this world arrayed contrary to what should be, and they pressure other people to prefer particular points of view rather than the ones they honestly mean. I am routinely criticised for being honest and telling people what I actually think. I learned years ago when I was married that if I am going to be in trouble no matter what that I might as well be honest up front, because then I am at least true to myself.
While preferences change with time or circumstance and break under pressure, convictions strengthen under pressure. I absolutely love Sir Thomas More. Besides the dramatization of his life in "A Man For All Seasons", I also bought the Last Letters of Thomas More and Statesman and Saint, both of which detail the facts upon which the former film is based. I would like to think that if we were peers, this man and I would have been contemporaries if not friends. Like Daniel of Israel under Nebuchadnezzar before him, he refused to worship the King's law as if it were divine.
Conviction is what you believe when there is nobody else to ask and everything to lose. Your convictions are the things you really believe, the things that matter most to you, and the things on which you are, like Daniel and Thomas, willing to bet your life. They are tested, tempered, and tried by the following phenomenon:
1. Family Pressure
Your family is often your closest confidence. They are those you have trusted and loved from the time of your first cognisance. You try very hard, especially if you are Christian, to please them and bring honor to them. However, as Abraham can tell you, not all parents or parental and familial wishes are good and brave and true. Abraham's father worshiped idols. Perhaps your parent breaks other laws of morality. When your family brings its weight to bear against you, it can be a difficult situation. While you love them and respect them, you also love yourself and value things that perhaps they do not, either because they are not willing to value or are unaware of things they should value. Family pressure has broken many wills of people I know and for whom I care, and it is a tragedy of the highest order to hurt someone while you tell them you love them.
2. Peer Pressure
For many youth, which is the primary age bracket with which I have thus far largely interacted, a major source of affirmation and confirmation comes from their friends. For adults, it comes from affiliations in employment, recreation, and religion. None of them know what is best for you, because none of them know you as well as you know yourself. Also, they frequently have things contrary to your actual happiness in mind, because if you join them in their decadence, they feel validated by a large group of like-minded individuals. Depending on age and the strength of other relationships, peer pressure can be incredibly strong and break what we might feel to be a conviction.
3. Government Penalties
Penal codes, threats, and military action have been tools of fear against men since the dawn of government. Like Thomas Paine so eloquently wrote, the origin and rise of government stems from an inability of moral virtue to govern the world. Men of morality infrequently desire to rule. Ergo, many of the edicts, penalties, and fines imposed by governments are harsh, punitive and feared. Ask anyone you like what they feel about the IRS. Most people will go to any length to avoid punishments by their governments.
4. Threat on Life
Sometimes you will find a John Hancock, Samuel Adams, Daniel of Israel or Thomas More who will resist wickedness in high places under threat of death. Most people, if they are intellectually honest with themselves, want to live and let live. The government holds power over life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, and it can easily and frequently succeeds at breaking convictions through threats on life. Aside from government, other forces threaten your life, which is why we fear guns, the mafia, pirates, gangs, car accidents, poison, global warming, and a slieu of other threats, both real and imagined that paralyze us against doing what we know we should and honestly choose otherwise.
Your convictions are not things that change with fads, friends, or informatics. Your convictions are a reflection of the things you really value. When everyone around you tells you that you are wrong and you stick to your principles anyway, then and only then do you know that the convictions are your own. It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies, but it takes a great deal more to stand up against your friends. You care about them and believe they care about you. If they really care, even if they disagree, true friends will love you and stand by you no matter what you do.
For my own part, issues of virtue and morality are not so ephemeral that they are subject to change as if parts of my wardrobe or vocabulary. They define who and what I am. Naturally, I also prefer them, but I have been willing to lose a lot for the things that I believe. It has been hard, and I wish that I could tell you that the rewards were obvious and plentiful. Sometimes, the only advantage is that, as I did last night, I get a good night's rest and get out of bed recharged for another day. At the end of the day, I have to live with myself. I am the only person with whom I spend twenty four hours per day, and if I am not true to myself, how can I be true to anyone else or live with myself?
I will be true, for there are those who trust me.
I will be pure, for there are those who care.
I will be strong, for there is much to suffer.
I will be brave, for there is much to dare.
I will be friend to all, the foe, the friendless.
I will be giving and forget the gift.
I will be humble, for I know my weakness.
I will look up and love and laugh and live.
Most people are alive, but only those who stand by their convictions, even if it leads to their death truly live. Stand by your convictions. Although in the moment it may cost you friendships, romance, wealth, power, freedom, or security, in the end, it is he who acts with integrity of heart who wins a place in our hearts and history books.
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