As a scientist, I have used litmus paper for the better part of 10 years to determine the chemical nature of substances. As an adult, I have used other litmus tests to measure the disposition of people with whom I have had cause to interact. Some people say I should abandon them, and although I seem to have as a result few friends and few close relationships, I use them to protect myself from getting burned.
Just as acids and bases can burn sensitive parts of your body, associations with the wrong types of people can burn sensitive parts of your psyche. A few years ago, I made changes to my life, and I continue to do so, as a way to protect myself from people who would do me harm. Sometimes it works better than others.
Years ago, my paternal grandfather, who often recited poems, taught me this one:
Just as acids and bases can burn sensitive parts of your body, associations with the wrong types of people can burn sensitive parts of your psyche. A few years ago, I made changes to my life, and I continue to do so, as a way to protect myself from people who would do me harm. Sometimes it works better than others.
Years ago, my paternal grandfather, who often recited poems, taught me this one:
You Tell on Yourself
You tell on yourself by the friends you seek,
By the very manner in which you speak,
By the way you employ your leisure time,
By the use you make of dollar and dime.
You tell what you are by the things you wear,
By the spirit in which you burdens bear,
By the kind of things at which you laugh,
By the records you play on the phonograph.
You tell what you are by the way you walk,
By the things of which you delight to talk,
By the manner in which you bear defeat,
By so simple a thing as how you eat.
By the books you choose from the well-filled shelf:
In these ways and more, you tell on yourself.
—Author Unknown
So, I grew a beard, kept an old sedan, and adopted a mostly vegetarian diet.
People tell me that I am too critical of people. I can usually tell within about 10-20 minutes of conversation about how likely I am to get along with someone. Based on their interests, the topics about which they like to speak, and what priorities they set, I can tell that although they are nice people, we share very few values on which to build a lasting relationship.
Very few people ever evaluate the world. Some of them do pro/con lists or some sort of actuarial analysis, but they also think too much with their heads and too little with their hearts. Most people value very little the things that are of the highest value. I am very blessed in most aspects of life where others may envy me, but until they serve my highest choice of Home and Hearth, they are but a means to an end.
Where your treasure is, there shall your heart be. You'll be in my heart.
2 comments:
I shudder to think that someone might judge whether I am worthy to get to know better in a 20 minute period. I am often awkward and unsure when first meeting people and may not present my best self as a result. And, in the past, some of my best friends have turned out to be people with whom I would not have chosen at first meeting. Mom
I shudder to think that someone might judge whether or not they are interested in getting to know me further in a 20 minute period. I can frequently be tongue-tied or awkward when first meeting people and am not at my best. Some of my favorite people are not necessarily ones to which I was drawn originally. Further association allowed me to see them better and recognize their good qualities.
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