For some time now, my cousin has had a quote posted that I cannot get out of my mind. It says that people are desperately seeking someone to give them permission to do that which they want to do anyway.
A few weeks ago, an old URL acquaintance of mine came to me seeking my opinion on something. What it basically boiled down to is that she wanted me to tell her it was okay for her to smoke marijuana. She knew how I felt, but I think she figured that if I gave her license by minimizing the repercussions of what she proposed she wouldn't have to feel as bad. In the end however I disappointed her by staying true to form and putting the burden right back on her shoulders to choose her own way.
My ex wife came to me often for my "opinion" on matters of common interest. At length I discerned that what I actually thought mattered very little to her; she wanted me to validate her thoughts so that she could do what she wanted and then cast the blame on me later when it inevitably went belly up. Nobody likes to be wrong, but an independent confirmation helps us feel better about a choice when we're not sure.
From von Mises in Human Action and Smith's Moral Sentiments, I learned this past year that choices reflect valuations. People always find time and reason to do things they truly want to do. It's not necessarily like in these particular instances that the person intends something that will harm them or just not turn out to be useful; sometimes they choose something that's good, but it's just not the thing I would choose in that circumstance. Not that there way is wrong, but it's wrong for me.
Some things are wrong, but people like to do them anyway. In Politics, Aristotle teaches us that people trade the lower pleasures as a semblence of the higher, and in that exchange they trade away something of true value for one of apparent value. I try very hard to place my value in things that really matter- not that I don't want the niceties of life, but that aesthetics and perception mean less to me than substance and character.
Pandering to people who want license to do things that will ultimately undermine them hurts everyone. If there is law, follow it; if there is truth, stick to it; if there is value, treasure it. Otherwise, simply let it go.
A few weeks ago, an old URL acquaintance of mine came to me seeking my opinion on something. What it basically boiled down to is that she wanted me to tell her it was okay for her to smoke marijuana. She knew how I felt, but I think she figured that if I gave her license by minimizing the repercussions of what she proposed she wouldn't have to feel as bad. In the end however I disappointed her by staying true to form and putting the burden right back on her shoulders to choose her own way.
My ex wife came to me often for my "opinion" on matters of common interest. At length I discerned that what I actually thought mattered very little to her; she wanted me to validate her thoughts so that she could do what she wanted and then cast the blame on me later when it inevitably went belly up. Nobody likes to be wrong, but an independent confirmation helps us feel better about a choice when we're not sure.
From von Mises in Human Action and Smith's Moral Sentiments, I learned this past year that choices reflect valuations. People always find time and reason to do things they truly want to do. It's not necessarily like in these particular instances that the person intends something that will harm them or just not turn out to be useful; sometimes they choose something that's good, but it's just not the thing I would choose in that circumstance. Not that there way is wrong, but it's wrong for me.
Some things are wrong, but people like to do them anyway. In Politics, Aristotle teaches us that people trade the lower pleasures as a semblence of the higher, and in that exchange they trade away something of true value for one of apparent value. I try very hard to place my value in things that really matter- not that I don't want the niceties of life, but that aesthetics and perception mean less to me than substance and character.
Pandering to people who want license to do things that will ultimately undermine them hurts everyone. If there is law, follow it; if there is truth, stick to it; if there is value, treasure it. Otherwise, simply let it go.
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