In most of the animal kingdom, the male of the species is festooned with fastidious and fanciful plumage in order to help him attract a mate. For humans, whose genetic phenotype is obfuscated by vestements of cloth or the skin of other animals, most men of lesser attractiveness find other ways to curry favor. For some, there is money; for others, like myself, we offer fabulous companionship. What this is really all about or at least ought to be is to convince the woman that she is valuable to and valued by the man.
Enter the cow. In certain cultures of polynesia/micronesia, the trade came in the form of cows to the family of the bride. Unfortunately, it came to stratify the women in their culture rather than simply indicate how their husbands felt about them. It came to be what they felt about each other. On our stage comes the probably fictitious tale of Johnny Lingo, who would famously pay eight cows for a woman that nobody wanted, that everyone on the island felt was so worthless that her father should pay Johnny to take his worthless daughter. Johnny loved the woman and made sure to pay more than anyone ever had to convince his wife that she was special to him.
A few years ago, I met such a woman. Even her own parents insisted that nobody would want her, that she should hide behind her skirt and take whatever arranged marriage her stepfather could arrange. However, the fact of the matter is that she is worth much, not because of what she has done but because of who she is. I tried to convince her of that, to convince her to follow a man who loved her, to convince her that I would pay any price, even ten cows, if she chose me. Despite all talk of new beginnings, she disappeared, and unlike Johnny Lingo’s story, I went back to my work and she remained with her parents.
Not a day goes by that I don’t think about her and talk with God about her. About two months ago, another professor came to me upset that her ex husband was remarrying and she is single. We went for a brisk walk. I have done so almost every day since then, sometimes for two hours. This fervent and feverish activity burns an additional 1000 calories per day. I’m doing it to exhaust myself completely so I can get some sleep. She’s always on my mind, and I feel like part of me is missing. She would have made everything, every privation, every struggle, every frustration, every disappointment worth it. I’d pay twenty cows for her, and I know what the market value of that is. I hope it’s nice where she is, that she’s happy, and that her relationship with God is strong. I would like to think that He tells her of my love and that He encourages her to act on that. What I do know is that whatever He does tell her, if she follows that she will find happiness and peace, and that’s what I wish for her because I love her.
Several of my friends are married to Ten Cow Women. They are so perfect for each other that it almost makes me sick. It also gives me hope, hope that because I have seen it I will see it again for people I love. I love to see wonderful women, and I love to see the men they choose show that they are WOW (worthy of wonder). I meet people all the time, and each time, although I no longer carry a picture of my Ten Cow Woman with me, I think, “Yes, but they are not as good as she”. She was awesome. Every time I thought things might drive us apart, she liked me more. She checked boxes I didn't even know existed. When I had to let her go, that was the hardest thing God ever asked of me, and He knows that while I pray that she goes where it’s best I also yearn for her return.
People used to tell me that when you met the right person you’d know. I know that there are people for whom I’m not willing to risk my life, my fortune, or anything else. For her, I would give whatever it took if she asks me. Ten Cow Women are worth a great deal, because they are rare. If you have a Ten Cow Woman, I hope she knows it. If you are a Ten Cow Woman, I hope you chose/choose someone who understands what that means. My Ten Cow Woman was the most amazing woman I have ever met, and I miss her. The more I learn about other women, the more I miss her, and the more willing I am to pay any price for her. She will always be the standard to which I compare women. She was practically perfect in every way.
Time for my run...
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