Response to Comments of Late

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For a great long while now, I have mostly written without much in the way of feedback. For the most part, the feedback I do receive now about what I write on this blog falls in the negative category. People seem upset about what I write, about what I do, and about who I am. Well, they don't have to live with me, listen to me, or look here at all. I do this mostly as a public service and secondly as an outlet.

Nobody forces you to read what I write. I don't send out links to this on social media or pay to move my scribblings up the seach engine result lists. I don't twist your arm or pay you or punish you if you ignore this. In fact, most people ignore me all the time. You have many options of how to spend your time and from which sources to glean information. If you find yourself coming here more often that you'd like, well, I can't change your choices. All I can do is change how I regard them.

Remember that part of the reason I write and share my thoughts is to teach you. After all else is said and done, I am a teacher. Maybe the lesson is just "do something different from Doug", and if it turns out better for you, then thank God that you learned to be wiser than I. Most people don't write down all their thoughts, ideas, feelings, experiences. I know that nobody makes me do this, but if it's not valuable, then perhaps I will cease and then you can find something else about which to complain.

People tend to find what they seek. You will notice and register things you are trying to find. When people do not want to see things or hear things or experience things, they tend to cut themselves off and practice selectivity in their experiences. If you are reading my blog and not finding anything of relevance to you, perhaps it is because you do not wish to find it or are not open to it when you do.

It is no secret that I struggled greatly as a missionary. While still out, my father invited me to consider how, despite my struggles, all the men with whom I served constituted a blessing in my life. Even fifteen years later, some of them have short lists next to their names, but each of them served as an opportunity for me to turn to Christ, and so in that way whatever else they did they could be blessings to me. Sometimes I feel much like Polyanna, trying desperately to find something good about an otherwise arduous situation, and sometimes there isn't much that's good about Sundays. That doesn't mean there isn't anything good.

All the members of my Faith were required in college to take a series of three core courses that took us through books and topics that seemed designed to assault our faith and question our resolve. We referred to these courses as "Wicked Traditions", and everyone loathed having to sit through them. At length when my time came, I entered the courses determined to find something worthwhile to take from the classes, the readings, and the discussions. Although I found the courses difficult and challenging in ways other than the scholastic, I managed to find myriad good things from what I was forced to endure.

I write this blog mostly to myself. Unlike many of you, I lack a spouse, children, a significant other, or a roommate with whom to discuss things. Usually when something ends up here, it's because it's been on my mind powerfully for days or weeks. It bothers me, and writing it here gets it off my chest and out of my mind. In some ways this is a journal, not about the things I do but about the lessons I learn from the things I do and see and experience. It is my perspective on life. They say that smart people learn from their experiences and that wise people learn from the experiences of others.

When I post something here, I'm thinking aloud. You will notice if you go back far enough that I have changed my mind and my perspective on a few things. You will also see I hope how I evolved in my thinking from what I thought first to what I thought now. Most people will change because it's expedient for them to do so for some personal gain. I learned from my ex wife that if I was going to be damned anyway, I was going to be damned for being who I really am. This is who I am; this is how I feel. I will not be moved unless I see the wisdom or unless God commands it of me.

For better or for worse, I am me, and this accurately reflects how I feel, what I think, and what I do at least in the moment that I wrote it. If you're not finding anything worthwhile in my blog, that could be for several reasons. Perhaps you are not the intended audience. Perhaps you are not looking to learn. Perhaps this is not the time. Perhaps this is an invitation to you to be wiser than I. Perhaps you already are. Perhaps this is an invitation to thank your Creator that you have different struggles than I do or that you know better how to handle mine than I. Whatever the reason, come when you feel inclined and stay as often as you like. I will continue to write this blog until the great Jehovah shall say the work is done.