Feel Good Cards

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So much of what people do seems to be more about saving face than making change. I think far too many of us like to hand out “feel good cards”, things that we do and say that are calculated to make us feel better about ourselves more than they are to help the people to whom we direct them. Whether in politics or religion, in love or in business, we do this because we seek recognition, and we know that there is no special recognition or reward for doing what you ought to do. Most humans mistake talking for doing, and so when someone like the president talks about things, they feel like he has accomplished something.  Well, most of it's speculative process language and leads to token efforts at best because people aren't willing to do what needs to be done.  We hack away at the leaves of evil while ignoring the root and pat ourselves on the back for the pile of rubbish we create.  We all want to matter, and so we do things that make us feel like we matter rather than living in a way that we forget ourselves and get to work.

Almost everyone I know who “cares about the planet” does so to feel better about themselves. I don’t know anyone who drives a Prius who gets the gas mileage estimated by the EPA. They usually get what I get in my Saturn because they don’t drive in a way to take advantage of the features a Prius offers. Driving a Prius is far too often more of an effort to say “I care more about the planet than you do” while those people go out and litter in national parks or on the street and don’t clean their clothes, their homes or their hair. You see, you get credit for caring about the planet but no special accolades for caring about your own hygiene.

We do things because we want other people to tell us how wonderful we are. I am related to a man who took a calling in another congregation than the one with his family and volunteered at a school other than where his children went. He did so because people don’t praise you for helping your own children, but at the end of every year the church goers and school administrators would pat him on the back and say “what a good boy are you!” I wrote about the woman in Austria who took clothing to Tibet and told the people that it was all from her! She didn’t do this because she cared about Tibetans; she did this so they would worship her. Meanwhile, back at home she probably ignored and neglected her own family and neighbors because that’s what we are supposed to do. Politicians seem to be the biggest offenders in this way in my book. Since their major goal is to get reelected, they will do things that make them feel better about themselves rather than doing what is good for the people they ostensibly serve. Of course, it's about recognition, but whenever they do something amazing, remember that's what we pay them to do.

Far too often, we are generous with other people’s money, time and talents. Today I read that Mayor Bloomberg was knighted for his philanthropic efforts. Bloomberg is rich; he didn’t waste and wear out his life giving his own money and time to help; he took donations and used that, and then he took the credit. It is a piss poor leader who takes credit for things that other people do. One of the federal contractors at Nellis collects humongous bonuses annually. Most of the money is gobbled up by the supervisors who pass on a paltry few hundreds to the people who actually get the work done. We are so wonderful because we picked the right people. Aren’t we grand? I have actually been uncomfortable for years writing off my charitable contributions on my taxes for two reasons. First of all, I don't think it's anyone's business how much I give and to whom. Secondly, I feel like if I get a tax reduction, that may be the end of my increase for them. Since you only get like 29 cents for every dollar, it just doesn't seem right. Yet, that's how we rack and stack each other and measure how "giving" other people are, but there are plenty of things I do that are not quantified there because I either can't or don't want them to be. When you help someone with yard work or a flat tire, they don't give you a receipt for the IRS. The IRS wouldn't accept it anyway, but God will.

This past weekend at General Conference, we were reminded that all of this is something that we ought to do. Christ commanded us to take care of the sick, the lame, the poor, and everyone littler than we are in any way whatsoever. Although we may not be our brother’s keeper, we are still our brother’s brother, and so we are supposed to divide all gifts from God with every brother that we see who has need of our help. Ultimately there is no special credit for taking care of God’s children; it is actually an imperative duty that we owe to all the rising generation. Especially aggravating, far too many people do this to be seen of men. Whatever reward there is, it ends there. The story is told of a man who did many mighty deeds to help people who was disappointed to find that his mansion in heaven was small because he took credit for things on earth before God was able to give him credit in the book of life. You can have your marshmallow now, or you can wait a few minutes and have even more.

We are blessed by God so that we can bless others and not to bless ourselves. The cards we like to play to make us feel good represent our misbegotten belief that we can take credit for things we did not do. It is in God that we live and move and have our being, and we are eternally indebted to Him for all that we have and are. Every move you make, every breath you take, He’s been blessing you. God doesn’t even need our help. He can give food or money or health to whomever He wishes; He invites us to join Him so that we can be part of the miracle and learn to be like Him, to love our neighbors as ourselves. When we take credit for our good deeds, we show that we do not love God because we do not obey Him, and then we break the first commandment. God blesses us to see if we will do with it what we ought. He wants us to get to the place where we rejoice at a good thing regardless of who did it. He wants us to look at great paintings, great service projects, great scientific endeavors and rejoice because they will bless other people regardless of who did it. I find it duplicitous how many people celebrate Tesla’s philanthropy who then demand to be recognized for doing their duty.

My annual review is due by Wednesday, and I expect it to be blasé. You work your keester off all year to meet sometimes unrealistic expectations and compensate for coworkers who do not pull their weight and then you get a raise (if you get one) that’s the same as everyone else. I have never really been comfortable with special rewards for what I ought to do; as a scout, I swore an oath to do my duty, and as an American who believes in Christ, I believe that I am honour-bound to lift where I stand. As much as I would like merit pay, I am not living for this world, and so there is nothing they can give me that is of eternal consequence. Let other people play their feel-good cards. The Lord who seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.