As a chemistry professor, I frequently think about the purification of compounds and the processes and energy involved in such processes. In a recent email I received from a close associate, an allusion was made to the refiner's fire in purifying gold, and so I started thinking about this process. Paradoxically, the closer you get to pure ore, the more work it takes and the more impurities you find. This runs contrary to our expectations. We expect things to get easier and to give us a more obvious return, and as in ore, this process in people tends to reveal in us things deep down that we never realized were there in the first place. In fact, I have heard it said that the closer you come to being like God the further you will realize you are from Him. As you get closer, you realize just how much more there is to change.
In character as in chemistry, things of similar nature tend to aggregate. When I brought back ore from the river in Alaska last summer, the workers were excited to see some mercury ore in my tailings. You see, this meant that the vein was exposed and that they could go up where I was and glean even more than I could. They knew the telltale signs of compatible chemistry, that things of similar nature behave similarly. Where there is mercury, there is also gold or silver or other similar ores. The gold and silver make us rich; the mercury can kill us. As we are purified by the trials of life and the mercies of the Savior, we find more and more things about ourselves that are inconsistent with our hopes for our own nature. Truth is that we are fallen, we are weak, and we are corrupt. Truth is that along with the gold there is also poison like mercury hidden amongst the rudiments of our divine nature. As we are purified, it gives room and opportunity for other things to come forth that we didn't know were there. God's fires of adversity are there to bring forth all of the impurities in us, not to discourage us, but so that they can be confronted. You cannot fix a problem if you do not know it exists, and so disappointing as it might be to find a new weakness in yourself, at least now you can face and conquer your own Goliaths. Until and unless we are willing to give up the last rudiments of our rebellious selves, Christ cannot make us fit for the Father's kingdom.
Paradoxically then, the purer gold gets, the more it takes to rid us of the tiny bits that make us contaminated. When things are of similar nature, they take extra work to differentiate and separate. Some of the techniques I teach in lab and learned in school take lots of time or expensive chemicals or dangerous processes in order to separate things that are of similar nature. You see, gold shares in common certain qualities with other substances. Those other substances are not of value, and so we want to remove them because they mean we cannot sell ourselves for the right price, the best price, and make of ourselves the right people, the best people of which we are capable. As the process increases in difficulty, we confront demons or habits or patterns of behavior in ourselves that are not only contrary to happiness but also contrary to our hope to dwell in God's presence. It takes a great deal to be willing to let go of our favorite sins or to face things about ourselves of which we cannot be proud. When things share a great deal in common, it takes extra energy to separate them. It is for this reason that I maintain that it is impossible to save yourself without Christ. Only He has the power necessary for this kind of chemical change.
Do not be afraid to discover your weaknesses and impurities. We are all fallen. Our lives and our mistakes and our setbacks are not to show us that we are weak and fallen. God already knows that. That discourages us. These things exist because they show us how much we need the Savior. They show us that God loves us. Our weaknesses are so that we will come unto Him, be healed of Him, and return to His presence. They are a gift. They are invitations to rise up and rise above. Every single one of God's servants, no matter how many or great their shortcomings, needed the atoning blood of Christ. Through Him, they have a future. I recall a billboard on the highway in Florida that invited the reader to the following action: "When satan reminds you of your past, remind him of his future." Although you made mistakes and were not the person your dog or Kat thought you were, for the man who repents of his sins, the promise stands: "I the Lord remember them no more". If He cannot remember, then neither should anyone else.
Failures teach us two things. They show us where we need to focus our efforts. They also show that we are actively engaged in working out our salvation with our God. Although it is not true that everyone has a future, everyone CAN have a new future, a fresh start, a clean slate, thanks to the sacrifice and resurrection of the Savior. The closer you come to Him, the more you recognize the weaknesses in yourself and feel a desire to make them right. As your sight becomes clearer, you notice more things that need to be changed for the better. Although it might not look to you that you are becoming better, other people will notice. My students know that I correct my own grammar in class and that I use different "more colorful metaphors" than they do. You may not have reached the pinnacle, and it may be difficult for you to see the changes and the improvements because you live with yourself and you are intimately familiar with your weaknesses, but others will notice. Besides that, the Lord that seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.
It has been said that the only people who really fail are those who quit. We rise and rise again until lambs become lions. When in doubt, we look upward. When we fall, we seek mercy. When we discover our weaknesses, we turn to the Savior. The adversary wants you to quit and give up, admitting that it's useless to resist. He wants you to just go with the flow of your fallen nature and allow the impurities to dampen the brightness and the value of the gold in your soul. He wants you to think that since you can't change yourself that change isn't possible. Failure is not an option. You only fail when you quit. The work of purification is simple. You submit yourself to be saved by the Savior and then you do the best that you can. When He gave talents to His servants, He didn't ask them to meet a quota. He just wanted you to make something of what you had, not that He needs your help but that it shows whether you truly desire to be refined.
The refining process is not a short or easy one. It comes with some surprises. The greatest problem we have since we are the recipient of refining fire is that sometimes it doesn't look like we're getting better. As it continues, we notice things about ourselves we didn't know and sometimes do not like. We learn the truth about ourselves. We learn just how much longer the process would take than we thought or hoped. We learn just how much we need the Savior to finish us, because we cannot separate some things from us due to similarities between abhorrent behavior and our fallen nature. It's not about being fallen or being perfect. Our lives exist to show us how much we need Christ's help. He isn't satisfied with anything less than the real and purified us. No unclean thing can dwell in His presence, so when you turn to Him expect Him to put you through refining fire until you are ready. You can be pure ore or you can stay as you are. The latter is up to you; the former depends on you turning and submitting to Him.
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