People give me a lot of advice, and sometimes when I follow it I discover that it leads somewhere other than where they promise. However, since there is some truth in the premise, I find the advice wise, because I appreciate who I am due to the decisions made. I am the only person who must live with me 24/7, and so if the advice leads to better enjoyment of my own company it has at least that value. For years, people suggested that I needed to become the kind of person with whom I desired to associate, particularly romantically. Unfortunately I discovered when I reached that point that either those kind of people don't actually exist or that they care for the companionship of other people.
Active
I meet people in this valley constantly who claim they love the outdoors. Then summer comes and they tell me how much they hate being anywhere outside besides the poolside. I'm active, but I'm unmotivated to the level of activity necessary to have washboard abs, and so I dont' like hanging by the pool all that much. I actually go places. My buddy and I noticed that most of the women we see hiking, particularly the pretty ones, do not go much further than 2 or 3 miles from the trailhead. So, we're not holding our breath to find anyone who actually calls us up to go along or who ends up going with us regularly except by chance. They told me to work out until someone loves me, and while I assumed that meant it would attract a woman, I like who I am, and so it worked. I love me.
Intelligent
One of my proudest possessions is my library. It's full of books I have read and annotated and made part of my repertoire. I take time to read regularly, daily from the scriptures, and to learn about things that interest me. Sometimes coworkers suggest books, and some are even books students commended to me, and even when I enjoy them less than I hope, I do now own that knowledge since I have partially didactic memory. You can't tell from my credentials however what I actually know. According to my transcript I'm actually illiterate. I never took an English course, and most of the things I have learned outside my major are things I learned after I moved away from my alma mater. Monday night in class, I brought in a recent article that was barely a day old, which showed them that I keep up with things even though I'm not required to by my employer.
Responsible
I live WAY below my means. For years, it served as a bone of contention with some that I drove my 1995 Saturn everywhere when I could afford something else. I bought a modest home in a normal part of town, and I spend my money on vacations and trips rather than on things I would have to insure. Most of my savings goes into retirement. I have opportunities to earn extra which I take in the absence of alternatives like romance or recreation since I don't really have any other plans at the moment. I stick to a schedule and a budget, and people know where I'll be and what I'm doing usually.
Good Company
My buddy's dad has alzheimers, and it surprises us all that he remembers me and knows who I am while he forgets his own children. Last weekend when I was there, he told me that he enjoys my visits because I'm a great guy. We have good conversations and visits, and I am often the instigator of activities with cousins and friends, particularly some who do not have many other friends. Although I talk about myself frequently here, when I'm with them, I ask them many questions. I am interested in them. If not, I wouldn't hang out with them. People make time for the things and people that matter to them.
Man of Faith
In case you can't tell from my writings, I am a man of great faith. My best friend once told me that I'm the only actual adherent of my Faith that he's actually ever met. I don't just go through the motions, and I don't wear a lot of external signs, so you might not know which Faith I practice, but you can tell that faith means a lot to me. I don't just go through the motions, and I don't do things when I don't want to, so even if I don't have all the t's crossed and i's dotted, you know where I stand.
In short, I became what I seek. I am an attractive, fiscally secure and fit male who is good company. I seek an eternal companion with a strong center in God who is actively trying to take care of herself. Since I am athletic, solvent and a self-actuated learner, she should be too. I don't care what degree she has or what her paycheck is; I care that she is improving her lot and using what she has well. I have earned the right to lay claim on an attractive, active woman of some means to come along and be my companion as we make life happen together. I became what I desired. Sometimes I found it difficult to convert what I have into what I desire, particularly since I'm fighting genetics, and I do not claim to get someone who is a supermodel or millionaire. I desire to be more equally yoked than that, and most of my friends agree that's a fair request. Unfortunately, none of us know anyone who qualifies, at least who would welcome my affectations.
They tell you that opposites attract, but I have found the opposite to be true. Like I tell my students, you notice that things that are similar tend to aggregate. Matter gathers near other matter. Birds of a feather flock together. Your friends are usually people with common interests, common haunts, other commonalities or common virtues (Aristotle). Opposites do not attract; they detract. Perhaps my problem is that I have no peers in my equivalency class. Perhaps I'm not finished yet becoming what I ought to be. However, I became someone I like, and so at least I have my own company even if I lack as yet the company of a geautiful birl with whom to make a life. The one piece of advice I keep I read in a book my sister gave me when I moved to Vegas. Paul Brandt wrote, "Spend your life doing what you love and it will bring people into your life who belong. Become the person you want to attract and let God bring your mate to you." I keep thinking He has. I hope He acts soon. I might not yet be ready for her or she for me. After all timing does matter. Then again, I might not have met her yet.
No comments:
Post a Comment