Tenacity

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Frequently I wonder why God would ask me to do anything at all. This week a former student told me that I don't give myself enough credit. I told her that evidence suggests that I'm a poor choice for most things. Most of my sturies that even have endings have sad ones. When it came up with my hiking buddy on the trail this week, he credited me with a single word that makes me a special choice- tenacity. From its earliest introduction in our lexicon, tenacity referred to a firmness and persistence even to obstinacy, a cohesion and an adhesion that leads a man to stick with something until the end. He said that's what makes my faith noble- to continue on even when I'm not sure I have heard the message correctly, to continue on even when nothing seems to happen when I act.

I have several talents that contribute to this status, talents I received from God that I have nurtured for when and if He decides to ask something of me:

1. I am available. For all the greater capacity others may possess, if they are disinclined to acquiesce to God's request or if they are distracted by the devil's dissonance, they are of no use. I remember as a missionary when my first District Leader read us a letter from his mother. His mother detailed a dream to him in which she saw God talking with his angels and saying, "We'll wait until he's finished, and then we'll whisper him these important instructions." That elder told us he resolved to be available. I don't know whether or not he reached the expectations of himself he set that day, but I have.

2. I am easy to be entreated. God doesn't have to appear in a cloud or yell loudly or strike me with a disease in order to get my attention. When I run or bike or walk, and when I do my Daily Download, I actively seek out His correction and direction. Sometimes I do check to make sure I heard it correctly or to ask if He's sure, but then I go and act. I know that many of the things I said needed to be said and many of the things I did waited many years to be done. While none of this actually benefited me directly, it was part of His work, and maybe that's the only reason I'm in Vegas- God needed someone to do things here that other people were unwilling or unable to do.

3. I rise and rise again. Even when things don't work out as I like, because of my experiences, I continue to trust, to be loyal, to be faithful to what I know. Although I know no way of judging the future but by the past, I know that your future is not the same as their past. In other words, just because others rejected me does not mean that you necessarily must as well. I know that past performance is no guarantee of future results. Anyone who insists otherwise denies the Atonement and the Christ. Christ can change people who allow His Atonement to affect them.

When I thought about my friend's affirmations, I thought about the words Christ told to Doubting Thomas. "Blessed are they who have not seen and believe." I have never seen a divine manifestation or heard a literal voice. Most of what I experience is simply impressions or promptings to get up and get moving. Maybe I mess things up and utter something inarticulate or show up a few minutes late or fail to follow up. I feel sorry if I am the best God has, because I know my weaknesses. However, the few talents I have mean that sometimes I have been the poor vessel He chose. Sometimes God needs a cracked pot.

I try very hard to be a disciple of Christ. I portend to it, and that's really what drives me to be on my best behavior all the time. I really do believe, and that disappoints a lot of people, including me, because it's neither common nor popular to actually follow Christ. I'm committed, and I practice what I preach. Maybe I'm not very good at it, but I'm still learning, still being trained, and still able to recognize that there are no graduates of the Lord's University, only students. My best friend told me years ago after my first visit to Philadelphia that "Your discipline is your strength." I hope it's of use to the Master. I hope it's of use to you.