I have often been asked to forgive things people do to me, purposed or accidental. Being sorry however doesn’t make it better. It just makes you feel better because you have assuaged your own guilt, but the fact that you are sorry changes nothing for me. How would it make it better for me that you feel better about having not done right by me? We spend too little effort on one facet of repentance: making things right.
For your benefit, I present the steps of repentance for your edification. I wish I knew from whence I drew them, but here they are:
Recognize
Remorse
Recount
Recant
Restitution
Repent
Rinse
Repeat
I will explain them all briefly.
Recognize: In order to fix a problem, you first have to know you have one and why and what you should have done. This is the only passive step, but it is often one of the hardest. Very few people take criticism well, even when they ask for it, because most people believe they are doing the best with what they have. What we really mean when we offer them advice is that we hope they will be better.
Remorse: This couples well with recognize, and is a constraint because many people think they did right. With different beliefs, values, norms, and environs, it is difficult to explain sometimes that an action is wrong. Nobody will act on the other steps until he decides to feel bad for what he did, and in order to do that, he must know what he should do.
Recount: Most of the time, you can simply recount your mistakes to God. He knows anyway, but he has impressed upon us the importance of actual verbal admission. In some cases, he asks us to recount it to someone who can absolve us on his behalf. This is designed to help make sure our repentance is complete and our conscience emerges clear. In the recounting, you specify exactly for what you realized you feel remorse and then can customize your own plan to make it right.
Recant: In order to move on, we must swear not to repeat the mistake. This is tricky, because we are prone to repeat things when we have long-entrenched habits. However, it is part of an earnest and honest effort to make things right to recant and deny ourselves opportunity to repeat the offense.
Restitution: Perhaps the most abused and overlooked step, full repentance requires that me make things right. Return what you steal, endeavor to repair reputation, etc. Some things cannot be restored. In that case, the person to whom we recount the error can give guidance on how to make it right in the eyes of the lord. Most people who are sorry make no effort to make it right. They expect me to just forgive them that they wronged me. God requires that things be set right as best they can.
Repent: You go before the Lord and ask him to forgive you. We often skip to this part. If you meet the requirements, he has promised that it will be done. You explain what you did to make it right, to make yourself better, and ask him to cover your sins through the merit of his son.
Rinse: As a first-time repenter, you get baptized by immersion as Christ for the remission of sins. Subsequently, we partake in the sacrament as at Passover in remembrance of Christ and ask him to take away the new blemishes with which our garments are stained. This is often skipped as well.
Repeat: Whenever you repeat a sin or begin a new one, as you inevitably will because you are imperfect as long as you live, it is a commandment to repent again. Christ promised that he will forgive his people as often as they repent. It is important to continually cleanse ourselves.
Be a better person. That's the real purpose of Christ's sacrifice- to give us the opportunity to overcome our shortcomings and become better people every day, people with whom God can be pleased and fellowship. The atonement of Christ, one man said, serves to make bad men good and good men better.
Don't be sorry. Be better.
*if I have offended you in any way, please let me know, and as much as lies in my power, I will endeavor to make it right.
For your benefit, I present the steps of repentance for your edification. I wish I knew from whence I drew them, but here they are:
Recognize
Remorse
Recount
Recant
Restitution
Repent
Rinse
Repeat
I will explain them all briefly.
Recognize: In order to fix a problem, you first have to know you have one and why and what you should have done. This is the only passive step, but it is often one of the hardest. Very few people take criticism well, even when they ask for it, because most people believe they are doing the best with what they have. What we really mean when we offer them advice is that we hope they will be better.
Remorse: This couples well with recognize, and is a constraint because many people think they did right. With different beliefs, values, norms, and environs, it is difficult to explain sometimes that an action is wrong. Nobody will act on the other steps until he decides to feel bad for what he did, and in order to do that, he must know what he should do.
Recount: Most of the time, you can simply recount your mistakes to God. He knows anyway, but he has impressed upon us the importance of actual verbal admission. In some cases, he asks us to recount it to someone who can absolve us on his behalf. This is designed to help make sure our repentance is complete and our conscience emerges clear. In the recounting, you specify exactly for what you realized you feel remorse and then can customize your own plan to make it right.
Recant: In order to move on, we must swear not to repeat the mistake. This is tricky, because we are prone to repeat things when we have long-entrenched habits. However, it is part of an earnest and honest effort to make things right to recant and deny ourselves opportunity to repeat the offense.
Restitution: Perhaps the most abused and overlooked step, full repentance requires that me make things right. Return what you steal, endeavor to repair reputation, etc. Some things cannot be restored. In that case, the person to whom we recount the error can give guidance on how to make it right in the eyes of the lord. Most people who are sorry make no effort to make it right. They expect me to just forgive them that they wronged me. God requires that things be set right as best they can.
Repent: You go before the Lord and ask him to forgive you. We often skip to this part. If you meet the requirements, he has promised that it will be done. You explain what you did to make it right, to make yourself better, and ask him to cover your sins through the merit of his son.
Rinse: As a first-time repenter, you get baptized by immersion as Christ for the remission of sins. Subsequently, we partake in the sacrament as at Passover in remembrance of Christ and ask him to take away the new blemishes with which our garments are stained. This is often skipped as well.
Repeat: Whenever you repeat a sin or begin a new one, as you inevitably will because you are imperfect as long as you live, it is a commandment to repent again. Christ promised that he will forgive his people as often as they repent. It is important to continually cleanse ourselves.
Be a better person. That's the real purpose of Christ's sacrifice- to give us the opportunity to overcome our shortcomings and become better people every day, people with whom God can be pleased and fellowship. The atonement of Christ, one man said, serves to make bad men good and good men better.
Don't be sorry. Be better.
*if I have offended you in any way, please let me know, and as much as lies in my power, I will endeavor to make it right.
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