The rising generation continues to confuse me in many ways, not the least of which is their sense of self-importance. They seem convinced of the notion that each of them is the center of the universe and that everyone else ought play a supporting role to their own. Consequently, any effort to control them, manage expectations, or instruct them is met with resistance. I know that when I was young I was also convinced that I knew everything, but today they find allies in other places willing to coddle them whenever they feel their omniscience, omnipotence, and omniportence threatened by any other authority that does not validate their worth.
Young people reject the advice of the experienced and try to prove their own superiority. I know this isn't technically new, but in this age, they don't seem willing to admit that they were wrong and patch up breaches in relationships, just leaving them in tatters after they cut off people they claim to care about. The twin sister of a girl I once dated disinvited me from a camping trip after I questioned significant details missing from the planning of our wilderness adventure. She didn't like the fact that I brought up concerns about things she hadn't considered (because she was only 21) and took it as personal criticism. Sure enough, those things all interfered with the trip, but I didn't have to worry, and soon thereafter the family cut all ties. A woman I know who married someone her parents told her was a bad choice who is now raising three girls alone. She doesn't turn to her parents for help. She cut them off, and she is so desperate to prove her worth that she's drowning in debt trying to make her way with this baggage without anyone's help. I'm the only old friend from ten years ago with whom she still talks, but I think it's because I made a significant financial gift to help her children's medical issues. One of the volunteers on the mountain injured herself this summer in a physical activity which requires someone else to keep an eye on you. Even when I suggested she see someone, she insisted on waiting until she went home the next opportunity to see "her" doctor. By then, the damage is entrenched. She knows better than I do.
Teachers have been denuded of authority in the classroom. My student who wrote my very first negative review blamed me for her lack of success. She claimed to be an "A" student, but her work at the collegiate level wasn't sufficient to earn that score. Even compared to her classmates, she was simply above average, but she didn't wait until term ended to voice her malcontent, and it got so bad her classmates complained to me. I have a current student who is upset with me for pointing out the obvious and apparent that she is absent except when there are exams. When I made a comment one evening about the relationship between attendance and performance, although I do not require attendance, and pointed out that I knew the person who was chronically absent, someone told her, and she sent me an email attesting to how she took that personally. Maybe I'm old school, but I think that if you don't come and you're the only one absent every class, you shouldn't be surprised when people notice. Even her two lab partners were dissatisfied with this, but apparently she's not angry with them. Students blame professors for their grades. Rather than take credit in many instances, the younger students go and complain. My first semester teaching, I had a student claim I failed her because she was black. She left half of the questions on the test blank. I can't give credit for questions you don't attempt. In this recent cartoon, it shows the shift in accountability from the student to the teacher, and it frustrates me that I have to continually defend myself against these people, as if they have any idea how to do my job.
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People pick partners based on shared interests rather than shared values. I worked for a young lady on the mountain this summer who probably blew me off as a potential companion for any reason after I tried to coach her. She probably realized I could not be manipulated. Although I genuinely attempted to help her become successful and express genuine concern, she kept me at arms' length and then hung out with other people. She even refused to hike with me although she did agree to go with "1MPH Bob". Likewise, my ex wife couldn't be taught anything. I would disagree with her and take the verbal lashing. Then, when the truth validated me, I would suffer again while she sulked and gave me the silent treatment. Afterwards, she often took credit for the learning experience herself, as if she realized it all on her own and I had never mentioned anything contrary to her original error. The last member of my own Faith that seriously considered me moved on when she realized she wouldn't wear the pants in the family. Once, she tried to lay down the law, and I told her when she had her own place, a real job, and any inkling I would sit down and discuss the terms with her. Why should she boss me around? What were her accomplishments to set her up as subject matter expert? Instead, she found a guy who was willing to be a boot licking toady, and they are living a life of mediocrity on the opposite ocean.
I think about myself when I make these observations in other people, and I admit that I sometimes disobey not only earthly but also heavenly guidance and authority. However, I am past the place where I would do it defiantly, willingly, and obstinately when some external authority comes at me for the sake of resisting. Come to me with a reasonable rational or with a loving countenance, and I will move heaven and earth to do what I can. I don't know how to get through to the rising generation. They do not seem to recognize any authority besides their own, anyone's worth besides their own, anyone's opinions besides their own, and it gets in the way. It stops relationships and progress. It's also a sign of the times. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, and I add by way of editorialization, unteachable. I don't know how to get through to these people, and soon if it hasn't already the opportunity will end and I will be sorry that it is so.
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