At church yesterday, a woman recounted her child's adverse reaction to meeting Santa Clause this season, because he's not familiar to the child. In ways he understands, the child accepts Santa. Since his mother wears glasses and his father is fat, that's fine, but he isn't really sure how to react to a beard and red suit. It's the common reaction of people to eschew the unfamiliar and in some extreme cases to vilify it because they do not understand it. What's familiar is easier usually. Whether due to fear or to laziness, or to circumstances beyond our control, sometimes we must sacrifice the familiar. Sometimes, greater comfort comes when we surrender the familiar for the better.
Sometimes we stay with what's familiar because we fear the unknown. My father asked the woman serving continental breakfast if she was a local. She admitted having left but returning to this rural area because of discomfort with, fear about, and bad experiences in other places. I understand the tranquility of the familiar. Unfortunately and thankfully on occasion of my father's military service, we left his ancestral home, moved around constantly, and learned to cope with unfamiliar and uncomfortable circumstances. I know that not everyone has this kind of courage. I know that sometimes you find yourself swept up by exigent forces and taken from where you would like to be to where your family wants to take you. Not everyone has parents like mine, and not everyone who moves around like I did enjoys it. However, I have a coworker who remembers being persecuted by members of my Faith as a young teen, and my late friend Tracie told me the same. Even I am ostracized here by the community of the believers, but that's ok because I'm not sure I want to be familiar with their spoils and secret combinations.
Sometimes it takes time and effort to make the unknown familiar. My oldest niece thinks I'm the bees knees. I think it helped that I saw her so many times this year. Between the family funerals and my visit to my brother this summer, she knows me, trusts me, loves me, and involves me. She dragged me around all weekend wanting to show UNCLE her stuff. I'm not her only uncle, and I'm not the one who lives closest, but I don't have anyone else to whom to pay attention on our visits, and I'm a lot of fun. I think it helped that I stayed at their place this summer so that she got used to my being there each night and morning, and when we drove away Sunday afternoon, she asked if I could stay. I think I'm her favorite adult playmate. In church, she followed all of my instructions and then walked around holding my hand. Most of the other young ladies I meet don't like my beard, my job, my car, my address, my attitude, or whatever and find a reason to hang out with other people, but this young girl really thinks I'm an amazing guy. I am. I made her feel important. I made her feel safe. Most importantly, I made several visits, and so she recognizes me when I point at her and doesn't care that I have a beard.
Sometimes no matter how hard we try, the unknown or uncomfortable never becomes comfortable, safe or acceptable. I am very pleased that for over five years my ex wife has been completely silent. I am very sad that, almost a decade after our divorce, it's still not really any easier to live down, understand, or handle. I'm also sad that, only six months after the death of my grandparents that I'm mostly ok with it; I feel like I should miss them more. There are things I like about my neighborhood, but I have many neighbors I will never even really know, let alone like, because they speak Spanish incessantly and don't try to build a community with the rest of us. There are things I like about my exercise regimen, but I have hurt myself overdoing things because I don't know when to quit or have any reason to. As much as friends may care about me, they're not there when I really need them, and so I am left most evenings to take care of problems myself. Despite the many reminders, I am still not convinced of my state of grace, my worth, or my desirability. I know I'm fighting politics and preference, but I did sit in my brother's congregation and wonder as I do in mine why these men found mates and I have to buy a container of dates if I want one. It seems contradictory. I soldier on anyway.
I'm not convinced that life should be comfortable and familiar however because that prevents growth, adventure, experimentation and education. I've met several students who never left the city limits. I know many people who have the same friends since they were six. I know people who always hike the same trails, do the same activities, and go the same places. I understand that there is comfort in the familiar and measurement in repetition, but I also know that it is CHILDREN who thrive on repetition. My three year old niece likes the familiar, the repetitive, and the easy to understand. It's a childish notion and prevents our growth and progress as adults to stick only to the things and people we know we like. If I did that, I would have missed meeting wonderful people, seeing wondrous sites, tasting delicious food, and learning skills, habits, and activities that enlarged my world. Just as if you stay in your warm blanket on a cold winter's day you might miss the serene beauty of snow and lights of the Christmas season, burying yourself in what you know keeps you from discovery. Don't let what MIGHT happen keep you from discovering what will. Risk it. Try it. If you don't like it, the familiar will still be there.
In the end, no matter how comfortable the familiar might be, if it's not right, it's not something you should keep. The reverend mother asks Fraulein Maria in "The Sound of Music" what she thinks the most important lesson is she learned since deciding to become a nun. Maria answers: "To find the will of God and do it wholeheartedly." It is NOT familiar to leave Egypt and cross the Sinai; it is NOT familiar to worship God and abstain from what everyone else does; it is NOT familiar to store up grain for a famine when things seem to be profitable; it is NOT familiar to build an ark; it is NOT familiar to go tell people to repent. It is also NOT easy to follow God. It takes time and patience and practice before we, like my toddler niece, feel comfortable in His presence and trust Him enough to follow His commands and put our life in His hands. However, it is RIGHT to do what God asks. It is right that, after God visits us, we should love Him enough to ask Him to stay with us. I will confess I haven't really hashed out what His will for me seems to be, but I have done things He asks that were neither comfortable nor familiar and ended up in a better place. It IS right to follow Him; it IS right to go where He calls; it IS right to live as He advises and commands; it IS right to be right with Him even if He's the only one with whom we are right. The fullness of His gospel is to do the will of the God who sent Him. The fullness of His blessings are to enter into His rest where we will only be comfortable if the way He lives is familiar to us. At judgment, very few people will protest because they will be comfortable with what they are familiar. Only those who learn to live like God will be comfortable in His presence. Only those who follow Him will know Him, trust Him, and love Him. We will only find comfort in Christ when He is familiar to us.
No comments:
Post a Comment