It's been so long since I took a sick day that I can't actually remember calling in sick to work since I moved to Vegas. Usually I use my sick leave to visit the doctor, but I'm in generally good health and don't have any reason to play hooky as it were even if I were out of personal leave days. Every time I teach Microbiology, however, I do catch something, and although I thought going into finals week that I'd skirted the danger this year, I learned that Murphy's Law does apply and fell ill again. I am glad I have sick days and that I infrequently need to use them. There are many reasons to rejoice at being healthy. I hate being sick because I feel like an entire day is wasted, like I achieved nothing with my time. I hate being sick because I hate the feeling of being sick. I hate being sick because it reminds me that I am not omnipotent and that I am alone. It's as if the day didn't actually happen. At least I didn't screw up anything. At least there was a way by which I could be made whole again.
I could never be bulimic. If, in order to lose weight, I had to vomit, I would just accept my physique. Fortunately for me, since I hate vomiting so much, I don't vomit much as an adult. Most of the time when I do, it's because, like happened to me Monday night, I caught Norvovirus, a stomach bug that makes you vomit for 24H and then leaves you alone. A few times, it's because I swallowed something poisonous, and my stomach made sure I got rid of it. Each time you get sick, you feel miserable. You feel sometimes like you will die even though you were sick before and survived, but it's a miserable way to feel, particularly since usually you must wait for it to run its course and hope that your immune system is still competent enough to clear it. You try to stay positive, like Charlie Sheen, but you don't feel very good. What bothers me most about sickness is when coworkers and students come to work, obviously sick, and put me at risk to share in their misery! I'm sure they brought enough for everyone.
The work of a sick day is to rest, recover, and return. As much as I would have liked to do other things Tuesday, every time I got up, I felt lousy. By afternoon, when I was able to sleep for more than 2 hours without an interruption to vomit or something, I finally felt like I'd made progress against the disease. It was also around 4PM, getting dark, and late enough that I knew the day was shot. When I called in that morning, I had every intention of going in at noon and soldiering through, but when I awoke from my nap, I knew there was no point. The day was shot. When you get sick, it's difficult if not impossible to do anything terribly productive. I cancelled class, emailed students about the alternative assignment, emailed the secretary to ask her to put a note on the door, but aside from that I can't recall achieving a single thing aside from planning for Wednesday.
When I was younger, there was someone to administer to my relief. By evening, I finally had the wherewithal to get up and make some "sick soup" like mom used to make when I was sick. It's sort of bland, made with chicken bouillon, and not very filling, but I didn't want to risk much else in my dilapidated state of health. As fit as I am, being in better shape, at a lower weight, and in good health doesn't mean I won't or can't catch a pathogen. As amazing as my life is, it reminded me that when I am low, most people don't know unless I tell them, and nobody gets involved unless I explicitly ask. Several people contacted me, the youngest was 46 and the eldest is 62, and they all seemed concerned, but they have their own lives and their own struggles, and we're not that friendly. I guess it's nice I don't have to take care of someone else who is sick, and I suppose it was nice to be able to sleep without distractions. My dog knew, and he checked in on me and slept near me (except when I was downstairs on the couch which for a while was the only comfortable place).
Since I survived, I guess I can chock up the day as a victory. I didn't make anything worse, and I didn't get worse. I broke even aside from being a day older. You probably get sick with some kind of periodicity anyway, so having a sick day or two every year isn't that bad of a deal I guess. I didn't commit any sins, but I didn't do anything virtuous. I didn't get any work done, but all the new work I created was laundry, which I would do anyway eventually. I may have even lost weight since my pants feel more loose and since I didn't eat for a day. Most of all, I got rid of what ailed me. You see, we are all sick in a way, and sometimes the price of healing is a painful one. There are things in us that we wish were not, things that affect us that we wish would not, and things about us that we wish were otherwise. Like I tell my nursing students, most patients hope there's a magic pill that will make things go away without any real effort, when in reality sometimes as a course of the way we live we create our own suffering.
In this Christmas season, consider the ways in which you can alleviate the plight of the sick. If you find someone who needs your help, and as you recognize your own need for help, be the agent of healing. After you tend to the mortal and transitory needs of the afflicted, turn those who are spiritually, psychologically, and emotionally sick to the Healer of our Souls, the Christ. For Jesus Christ our Savior was born on Christmas Day to save us from the woes of sin when we had gone astray. This Christmas, you can be the tidings of comfort and joy. You can rest, recover, and return the lost. You can administer to their relief and care for those who are ill. You can help them understand that the misery can end and that healing will leave them in a better place. Sickness helps us appreciate wellness, and you can do small things to help people around you become whole again. Since I continue to face Christmas alone, I found a family this year to rescue as well. After Thanksgiving when a family near me was evicted, I stepped in to stop that for a family I actually know, and Tuesday night when another family near me had to move out because of a fire in their house I offered them a bed in mine. I don't do this to toot my horn; I say this so that you know I practice what I preach. "For inasmuch as ye have done it unto the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me". I have no other gift to bring parumpapumpum that's fit to give a king. These are the gifts Christ would have us give. For Christ came not to save them that are whole but they that are sick, and He asks us to do the same.
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