We are actually subconsciously taught and encouraged to go it alone. Despite all the talk about group work, shared sacrifice, and how we progress as a community, all of the models we see actually set us up and encourage us to do the opposite. We are taught to do things on our own, encouraged to be lone wolves, and rewarded as individuals which dissuades us from cooperation and coordination.
When I was younger, I hated the fact that we were always treated as a unit. During my early schooling in England, when anyone in the class did something inappropriate, we all sat there with our heads down in silence. I hated suffering for the foolishness and immaturity of others. Consequently, I learned very quickly the truth of the adage that if it is to be it is up to me. Quickly thereafter, my classmates tried to pull me back and manage my expectations and lower the bar for my achievements. I have had group members actively try to hurt my grade, fellow students steal my work and publish it as their own, and even had an ex-wife claim I owed her for schooling she acquired after we were divorced. Their problems have always been my fault; their successes have always been their own victories.
I suppose it's common to men to ascribe unjustly the credit. When things go well, they like to take credit; when they go poorly, they pass the buck to others. We continue to do this because the most visible of our leaders always "Blame Bush" for things in which they had a part and take credit for things that happen in spite of them rather than because of them. Very soon in their lives, people who are conscientious take control of their destiny where they can in order to avoid being brought down by others.
Even recently at work, one of my coworkers was out unexpectedly on a Friday. Since Friday is our busiest day of the week, and since I am her backup, I knew that, although no arrangements or notification had been made, that if nothing happened my neck was on the line. After trying to find the Dean to appraise her of the situation, I left her voicemail and took the initiative to provide a solution. You see, the onus is on me for not thinking for everyone else, and it would be my fault. We are taught to do things ourselves. They can talk about teamwork and all that rotgut at our group meetings all they like, but if the team members don't act like part of a team, the work will get done by those on whom we can rely to get the work done.
Individual achievement is the only kind that seems to be rewarded. Our grades are our own. Our annual evaluations are our own. Despite the fact that they have actually added "Teamwork" as 10% of my evaluation, if someone else creates a problem, I lose the points, even if I am minding my own business. We are guilty by association, and so we dissociate and go it alone whenever and wherever possible. It comes from the misbegotten notion that we are the "captains of our soul" when there is an entire world and universe out there compared to which we are actually insignificant.
People close to me have realized this about me. When they ask me how I am, I report that "everything I control is under control" although very little is under control. Although I try to be proactive, I am often forced to be reactive by virtue of people who work best in crisis mode or according to a 'just-in-time' business philosophy. You can do hard things. In spite of the things that people have tried to do to me personally, professionally, and philosophically, I continue to advance, achieve, and excel in every facet of life I control. You can too.
When we decide to act, our attitude influences our own expectations. Although I do not believe that attitude or 'energy' alone determines our altitude, it can only help. One of my students came to me after class this week trying to manage his own expectations. He believes that he comes at Chemistry with some kind of disadvantage because of something about him about which I do not wish to know. Even as he told me he expected just to pass at best, I pointed out that Steven Hawking, despite what happened to him, has gone and done great things. "Don't let us," I told him, "decide how far you can go. You decide what price you are willing to pay to accomplish what you desire. I do not subscribe to the notion of "if"; the question for me is 'how?'" Sometimes I amaze even myself.
It is possible and scientifically likely that despite your attitude and best efforts you might fall short of your hopes and expectations. There are so many other competing energy sources, attitudes, and efforts out there that might counter and negate your efforts. Sometimes things just don't work out. Sometimes, the things in which we engage require the participation of another agent who may decide to do something else with someone else for some other end. Even if you play all your cards correctly, there is always a slim chance that someone can be dealt a better hand by chance and beat you out.
Maybe that's why I like Don Quixote so much. Cervantes' character talks in the play version about how the end is not important. What really matters is to be true to the quest. To be willing to go it alone when everyone else is complicit and somnambulent, to be willing to stand up, stand up, and stand forth at the risk of being unhorsed. Sometimes, the shepherd must be willing to give his life to save the sheep, even if giving his life means to slug away at it every day every year for a lifetime. The French say "plus cha change, plus c'est la meme chose" which means that the more things change the more they become the same. As people try to be more different, they actually become more like each other, a bunch of shrupshire sheep as it were, all going through the motions in search of meaning and unique identity. They abandon what they know because they want to be themselves, only to not notice everyone else abandoning what they knew, until very few hold the line like Don Quixote. Very few hold to the old truths, because they are 'outdated' or 'puritanical'. Few regard whether they are true.
Have courage to go it alone when you are striving for right. That's when it really matters, and that's the kind of individual effort that should be fostered, encouraged, recognized, and ultimately rewarded. That's my quest, anyway, and I welcome your company.
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