I have found in the last year a great deal of confusion between these two terms. I meet girls who tell me I need more confidence who now think I'm arrogant. One of my most faithful readers sent me this message last week that kind of explains it. She said, "we've all been taught that if we do that {think we're wonderful], we're arrogant". It's a fine line to walk, and it's a fine line to talk.
The difference between arrogance and confidence seems to be a function of your point of view. As long as you validate the worth of others and agree with them, they call it confidence. As soon as your self worth rises enough to question them and their motives or if you don't meet their expectations, they perceive it as arrogance.
I keep a blog and post on Facebook for a simple reason. I do it, although I share some of the same concerns as you about what people may learn about me, because I feel I ought to. About a year ago, I considered deleting my Facebook account but kept it because of the people I might be able to influence if I kept it. Arrogance and confidence depend on your motivation. I don't do it to be famous. I do it because I hope it will help others. Moreover, I don't even care if I get credit. The ideas I express are not new- they are just new ways of expressing things we already know.
Assaults on you from people who used to love and respect you probably arise from jealousy. Instead of admitting that they are wrong or chose incorrectly, they will attack those who chose wisely. People who are unhappy with their own lives often mistake security and confidence for pride and arrogance. When we label people as "arrogant" or "selfish" or even "good" or "loyal", we actually do them a disservice. People are none of those things and all of them at the same time. What they do might be arrogant, selfish, good or even loyal, but we are the sum of our deeds, not a single act in and of itself, and if you label someone based on an event or your perception of an event, you do them and yourself a disservice. Much of how we spin what we say depends upon our point of view, and most people want to be validated.
External validation isn't really valid. If a man receives little praise for his work, does it make him a lesser man? If more, a better one? Greatness is not a function of accolades and rewards but rather a reflection of how true he lives to his virtues, principles and promises. It's ok to think you're wonderful if and only if other people tell us it is true but not if we inherently believe it of ourselves.
My confidence comes from being true to myself and my principles. At the end of the day, I am the only person who spends 24/7 with myself, and I have to live with myself every minute of every hour of every day. I do what I do, say what I say, believe what I believe, and am what I am because that is the only way for me to find peace in this life. Sometimes it sucks to be lonely, but I'd rather be lonely and at peace than be surrounded by people who play parts to appease others.
In an interview with a member of my Faith a few weeks back, we brought up the subject of honesty. I told him that sometimes I am honest to a fault, even when it might not go so well for me. My friends know that if they really want to know the truth, they can come to me and that if they don't I'll just spin around in a circle on my chair.
Just keep spinning, just keep spinning, just keep spinning, spinning, spinning…
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