Going to Wyoming this last week was good for me in so many ways. I got away from constant attentiveness to fiscal and political news and didn’t miss it one bit. Although I took my phone, nobody called, and only two emails in my inbox were really pressing and important. I noticed when I came back however a difference in my thought process as to priorities, which I wish to discuss.
Now that I’m suddenly a factor of some degree in the lives of people I know, I sense almost a reticence on their part to return that slice of their attention I previously occupied to me. Some of them admit it, having already made apology, but few looked forward to my return. It showed me how few friends I really have and made me glad of the opportunity to have spent time with family.
Since I’ve also been embroiled in conversations regarding relationships and read Dr. Laura’s book, I think about the role of prioritization from that point of view too. I read Cheaper By the Dozen as well this week, and the basic premise of that story is how the parents prioritize their careers and other activities over their families. Since I know so many people whose parents did that, whether inadvertent or blatant, it gave me reason to pause.
People make time for things that are important. I really wanted to go on a trip Fri-Sat to see a Dodger’s game in LA, not because I like the Dodgers, but because it’s on my Bucket List. Instead, I visited an uncle in the hospital who caught Staph and spent time with my sister, not that my friends or the associations that might be forged thereby weren’t important but because family comes first. Over the past month, several people in my locale came aware of the fact that I rise early to exercise and expressed an interest in accompanying me. Only one of them has ever availed themselves of my company, and that person has been sporadic. Not that I blame people; it’s hard to get up at 6AM and exercise (remember I arise at 5AM to read Scriptures before I exercise). I know that by the time I get home from work, I won’t want to do anything, so to do the things that are important (spiritual and physical health), I made decisions to make time for those things. Since time is limited, we do things that are best for us.
Herein lies the relationship codicil. I think so many problems in relationships arise because the relationships take a back seat to other things and people use the relationship as a rationale for those decisions, even if they do more harm than good. Like in Cheaper By the Dozen, the dad claims he took the job he always wanted to make a better life for his family, but he focuses on the job so much that his family suffers.
The order of operations in our day makes no sense either. In frontier times, my ancestors spent all day working with their families. They spent time when they were rested and in good spirits around those that they loved, in a spirit of community, then they went out in the evening to unwind with strangers at the barn dance, the bar, or a community roast. Nowadays, we go work all day with strangers and unwind on our families. Our coworkers benefit from our better mood earlier in the day, and we arrive home and dump on our families, knowing they will love us anyway. Our families get the short end of our short tempers and spend time with us only after we are physically, intellectually, and psychologically exhausted.
I envy in so many ways the pioneers who crossed the plains. I spent some real time as an adult walking in their footsteps this last week. They had a simpler time- not driven by the pursuit of wealth and power. Much as we may mock the 223 residents of Chugwater, WY, for their meager existence, I think I know why people love Wyoming so much. I long for the day when I can enjoy that existence they’ve known all along.
PS. I have nothing against Chugwater. Until this week, I didn’t even know it existed.
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