I Won't Hold My Breath

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For some reason this morning I found myself opining previous relationships. The last relationship I had lasted 10 days and was over a year ago. Around that time, I really came to empathize with the song Hope- by Ryan Shupe and the Rubberband. Since I bought the song, I won't do them the disservice of posting their lyrics free, but basically it's about a guy who refuses to let his hopes get up on the chance for romance.

I have not thus far wondered enough about why girls dumped me to ask them. From time to time, I wonder "what's wrong with me", but then I remember that my tastes in and of themselves are fairly picky. For example, if you drank or smoke...ever...you're out. I'm not sure I want to deal with children that aren't mine, especially if they were born out of wedlock. I live a very strict moral guideline, and I don't think I'd feel comfortable with or communicate with someone who didn't or who on the auspices of marrying me pledged to adopt such a way of life.

This last girl before I met her went through a series of shall we say abusive relationships, although I would come to find out she did most of the dumping. When she and her guy finally parted ways, part of me got jittery, and part of me told me to watch my back because she was on the rebound. Several times, including once in my presence, her friends told her she should go out with me. Her response as aforetimes was that she wasn't ready for a relationship. Not one week later, she called me to ask me if I thought she should meet this guy she'd been chatting with at an online dating site. Within a few weeks, she had moved out of state to be with him, and they are now expecting their first child.

At one point, she defended this guy by saying he's a lot like me. I knew then that such a proposition constituted monstrosity, a position validated by his sexual promiscuity with her. They appear to be happy, and that's fine with me. I think things turned out best for all parties.

Prior to that, another girl simply stopped answering the phone without any justification and further added insult to injury by alleging I had cut ties to her.

Part of why I don't let this turn of events get me down is because I know how I stand with someone whose opinion matters more to me than any other. On several occasions, God himself has intimated to me that my status pleases him. If any of the reasons these girls might cite were of sufficient gravity to necessitate change, I think God would have mentioned it.

So how do I deal with their rejection? Some people tell me that confidence will attract girls in the aftermath. I know what I am and I know what I have to offer. It's their loss.