24 March 2008

Everybody Freeze

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Law enforcement officers generally issue this or a similar challenge to those suspected of crimes. I don't know why they bother. Criminals always run.

Of course it doesn't make much sense to ask them to run. Logical as that outcome might be, no policeman would invite a person to do wrong, or would they?

We've all seen on TV the putative ways by which policemen break the law. I watch them drive at excessive speeds, ignore traffic lights, and hold up traffic. If they were sitting behind me and not vice versa, I bet bottom dollar they'd issue me a ticket. They plant evidence, frame people, hide things, are "on the take", ad infinitum, and so they're not much different from us.

I've interviewed for law enforcement jobs. They basically rejected me offhand because I have a Biochemistry degree, not Criminal Justice, as if those classes on my transcript make me any more prepared than any other applicant. When the Nevada Highway Patrol rejected me, I finally figured out what was wrong: I wasn't a big enough ass hole.

I know a few people who were LVMPD here in Vegas but who quit because it was putting a drain on their lives as a whole. They resemble me in many ways: trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty and brave. Contrary to popular belief, many of the cops you might expect to meet at random are few of those things. They aren't boy scouts, and they don't want any. It's like the movie "Dave" where the Chief of Staff goes apoplectic at the prospect of the Vice President ascending. They can't have that "Boy Scout" be in charge.

Law enforcement is where bullies go when they finish high school. There, we pay them to do basically the only thing they're good at.

Most good people want to fight crime, but few of them can honestly deal with criminals. Their behavior and personalities differ so much that it makes them uncomfortable. Good people want the rules to work, and so when they don't, they fly to pieces like glass. Good people can't interact with the fallen mortal world.

Unfortunately, this leaves the world with less than optimal people in positions of authority. Good people don't want to be corrupted, and so they shy away in the end from everywhere we need them to be. When a good man arises, bad people cut him down. If he wins, his normality exposes their mediocrity.

That's the bottom line in the mortal realm- bad people want everyone to freeze where they are and stop progressing. It's a good thing nobody listens.

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