People divide themselves into groups and have for all time. Tribes are usually based around common beliefs, values and norms, and tribal conflict is a blueprint for most strife throughout history. However, in church we are admonished to come together in one people as part of God’s tribe and admonished to put away all other loyalties and associations. Seems nice in theory, but in practice it plays out rather differently. Last week at church I discovered that I am the only Androidite. All the rest of the congregational leadership belong to the iPhoneite tribe. I also realized that they are all former jocks/athletes at least from high school who still occupy most of the positions of import and visibility now in adulthood. Somehow I was invited to join their number even though I don’t belong. It balkanizes us in a strange but transformative way. Should it be that way or should there be no more “-ites”?
Both at church and in class, everyone seems to have an iPhone. My lecture class all prevailed upon me one evening to get an iPhone until they realized that I don’t need one or want one. All of the features they touted are things I know, by virtue of being GenX, how to do without a phone. My fellows at church all prevailed upon me to get an iPhone because they “refuse to respond to my messages unless it comes in the correct colour”.
Over the years, I’ve encountered several instances where people refused to interact with people who didn’t own an iPhone. The first time I remember was in 2014 when some woman on the radio insisted that she wouldn’t date a guy unless he had at least an iPhone3. Back then I had a Motorola RAZR V3 which I only replaced in 2019 because I broke it. I am fairsure there are other people who refuse to date me because my phone is an android. My Sunday school class in 2016 found it strange that I didn’t have one, and I know that they felt that way because they knew I could afford one but understood that I chose not to. Now, it’s church leadership at the congregational level that insists that, because I don’t have an iPhone, they refuse to work with me or at least send me messages.
It's not just phones. I was never popular because I wasn’t really inclined to athletics. Back before I turned 12 I was turned off to sports when, in the final inning of the championship, the coach swapped me for his son and his son struck out in my place. I played soccer after that, and despite attending all the practices and games, I was rarely put in and when I was, because I was the substitute goalie, I was blamed when we lost. When you’re always to blame but never celebrated, it becomes hard to enjoy sports. Consequently, by the time I reached high school I didn’t care for sports and subconsciously I didn’t respect athletes either. They had never treated me with respect, so I put myself to academics and became a Nerd/Dork. This just made me even more of a pariah. Nerds are not usually in charge, and they are never popular. So, I don’t understand how I got into congregational leadership.
Looking around the room at church, they are all jocks. Some of them have physiques so far from athlete that it’s hard to tell, but I have heard their stories. They are still living in the glory days and still probably see themselves as the popular desirable jocks they once were. They also still see me as the Nerd/Dork they apparently still regard me to be. They will praise my piety, but it’s largely backhanded compliments, because they are really at church sometimes I think to socialize or preen and not to worship or serve. They don’t initiate conversation with me, and even if I had an iPhone because I’m still not popular I doubt they would include or invite me. It was ever thus. Back in high school despite being in a congregation with 19 young men my age, I was invited when there was work to do (service projects and church activities) but not for fun. They even had a secret club called “BC”. I still don’t know what it stands for, and I don’t care. I guess the jocks keep me around because I am productive, and they probably tolerate me because I accomplish things and they can simply ignore my attempts to do the right things the right ways.
It's sad that in Christ’s kingdom we are not as one. I’m always going to be seen apparently as a Nerd. I’m not going to be respected unless I buy a particular brand of phone. What are we, six years old? I really thought, apparently naively, that when we grew up that brands and being cool would cease to matter. Maybe I grew up and they just grew old. The tribalism from sports and iphones is expressly contrary to the community of Christ and the brotherhood to which we ostensibly belong.
Perhaps that’s why some members of my congregation like and respect me. I don’t pay them special regard because of things they own or wear or do. I take care of them because the iPhone-ites ignore them. The iPhone-ites take care of each other, so I don’t worry about them, but other people are left out because they cannot afford iPhones or because they are not interested in or good at sports, and I minister to them regardless of their poverty or preferred recreational activity. I really don’t care what you do. I teach correct principles and let people govern themselves, and I think the youth I teach know that. They know they can ultimately ignore me, and since most of their parents are jocks who own iPhones I won’t be too bothered if they decide to ignore everything I ever teach them. I wonder sometimes which phone Christ would use and, if He owned an iPhone, if I would get one too or, perhaps more importantly, if He would even care which phone I used.
At the end of the day I have always been an outcast. I have never been an “ite”. I have never belonged. But Christ cared about those people, and I am trying to care for and about them too. Not everyone is included easily, and sometimes it’s hard to include some people. However, I know that even if Christ owned an iPhone He wouldn’t ignore me because I didn’t have one or belittle me because I wasn’t a jock. If those things were important, He would patiently prevail upon me to become such and also help me become such that I was inclined to and able to afford the price required to be an iPhone-ite and a jock. Christ empowered people.
This week ironically I returned two lost iPhones that I found. The people to whom they belonged did not judge me because I didn’t own an iPhone. In fact, I think they were shocked that I returned their phones. One was an iPhone XR; the other was an iPhone 12 Max. The latter costs like $800, and when I told him I didn’t want anything in return, I think he was shocked. He saw my Galaxy S5 and tried several times to offer me some compensation. I don’t know if he assumed I was poor because my phone is nine years old or if he was genuinely grateful. I refused all offers. I didn’t do it for the money. I don’t even want a smartphone, let alone an iPhone, so his phone is of no interest to me regardless of its potential market value or utility.
Your true identity is not in the things with which you festoon yourself but in how you treat others. God watched me spend Friday night returning two lost iPhones to their owners with no gain on my part. Fortunately, they drove to me, so I didn’t have to spend any money either. Christ admonished us to treat everyone with love. Ignoring my messages and leaving me out of activities is not treating me with love. Sometimes I’m not terribly loving in return. I turned to the bishop last Sunday and suggested he replace me with someone who owns an iPhone and plays sports. He won’t. He knows that despite the fact that I don’t get involved I will still go out and do the work of salvation. It might not be 100%, but I will give 100% on the part of the work about which people tell me. And God will be ok with that too, despite the fact that I don’t have an iPhone and hated sports. He knows I care about His people, whatever “ite” follows their name.
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