In my role as a member of the ward bishopric, I take the occassion to visit as many families as I can. I have NOT visited EVERYONE, but last week I managed to finally make it into a home of some members who were reticent to let ANYONE from the ward into their house. While there, they spilled the beans about their feelings and misgivings and experiences, and it opened my eyes. In particular, one issue was mentioned that prompted this post. The wife reported that, when reporting on her ministering visits, the Relief Society President asked if a particular woman should be added to the list of "never coming back to church". She was disturbed. I was enraged. I mentioned it to the Bishop last Sunday, but he dismissed my concerns and experiences. After all, this family won't let HIM in their house. I found it contrary to experience, to doctrine and to the happiness of both the minister and the person to be visited.
First off, this attitude runs contrary to experience. We have members of our congregation who were absent for protracted periods of time who are now stalwart, faithful and RESPECT ME, and I didn't even have anything to do with their return. An elderly couple returned to the temple this last year after 40 years of not having recommends. An older gentleman was inactive after joining the Navy until his daughter was born, and he has been active and valiant for the 26 years since then. A husband walked away for a time, and his wife thought they were going to be apart forever, but he decided to read the scriptures and, after reading everything in a year, returned unexpectedly to church one week. Even his wife didn't know. We have no idea who will return to the fold. We have no idea what the Lord is doing to reach out and influence people. If we assume they are never coming back, we will not be available to help them return, and even if they do we rob ourselves of the blessings that come from helping people change their lives for the better.
Secondly, this attitude runs contrary to doctrine. In the Book of Mormon, we read Christ teaching his disciples in the Americas:
Nevertheless, ye shall not cast him out of your synagogues, or your places of worship, for unto such shall ye continue to minister; for ye know not but what they will return and repent, and come unto me with full purpose of heart, and I shall heal them; and ye shall be the means of bringing salvation unto them. -3NE 18:32
We have been commanded to continue not only to continue to minister but to allow and encourage them to come and worship with us. Christ himself taught us to continue to reach out, as He does, to everyone. We have no idea who will return and repent. We cannot see the heart of a person, and we cannot predict whom Christ will elect to heal. Many Christians assume they know the final disposition of a soul, but with rare exception anyone can be helped and rescued and redeemed. One of the youth reported seeing a sticker that read "Christ loves those you hate". He died and rose again for them too.
Finally, creating a list of people who will "never return" is contrary to happiness and denies the Christ. We are not the final arbiter, and the disposition of a man in this world is not the final state of a man. No man can see the future. Many that die deserve life; many who live deserve death. Many who are happy deserve suffering; many who suffer deserve ease. Sometimes the path to heaven is not that straight and narrow, not because the criteria vary but because the route we walk and the experiences we endure lead us to wander far from where we intended. As a boy, my dad liked to draw mazes to entertain us at church, and I quickly learned that My Father liked to draw a circuitous route from start to finish. Likewise, our Father God does the same in order to make sure we get the experiences and opportunities and have a chance to influence the lives He sends us to touch and participate as much as we can in His work so we can share the blessings. Even Jesus wandered in the wilderness alone for a time; even Jesus felt like His father abandoned him in Gethsemane. At baptism we promise to be with those in need of help, to mourn with those that mourn and comfort those in need of comfort. At no point are we told to eschew, reject or bar the "wicked" from our midst, because we are all wicked too. CS Lewis wrote that, as far as temptations go, "Murder is no better than cards if cards will do the trick" leading a man away from God.
Anyone can return to Christ. I had a friend in High School who, up until my Freshman year, was a drug dealer. Initially members of my ward worried about me hanging out with "Richard" because they saw only his past. Christ saw his future. THere was no reason to expect Richard to ever come back to church, but he did, and he served a mission, and I hope he is well, because we lost contact when I moved away. He would discuss the scriptures with me at school, acknowledge I exist, and give me a ride when my father was not available, and I bet members put him on the "never coming back to church" list in their hearts. I don't see men change often, but I saw Richard change, and I know what goes through MY heart, and so if God can find me acceptable and inspire me, then surely He can and will work through whomever He deems worthy, and I am not there to judge. I left my visit last Thursday promising them that I was not there to judge them. I was there to love them, and SO ARE WE ALL. We have only two commandments to live: love God, and love your neighbor. I shall continue to minister, because although nobody from church visits me, Christ ministers to me and is patient with me and forgives me. How can I do anything but?
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