26 November 2015

Humbled to be a Hobbit

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When John McCain slandered and besmirched citizens and colleagues of a different political ideology as hobbits, the left cheered. Of course, they cheer anyone who supports them because it’s ideology or nothing. They enjoy the chance to mock and belittle people of other opinions because that’s what small minds do- they engage in character assassination. In truth however, John McCain couldn’t have picked a better exemplar in his verbal faux pas to which to compare his opponents. Apparently, he forgot that the hobbits won, that not a single one was lost, and that hobbits hold the fortunes of us all. 

Personally, I’m not offended to be a hobbit. I’m offended that small people and dubious characters such as John McCain found their way in as Stewards of western civilization.

Hobbits bow to nobody. In the fine tradition of the revolution, America was established as a free nation, where you were free to follow the opportunities of life regardless of station and to act on the dictates of your own conscience. Most other societies, even republican in nature, still kept their caste system. The Hobbits of 1776 bowed to nobody. They even refused to recognize their president as a monarch or the presidency as a hereditary institution as the leadership of most other societies ever was. At the end of the day, the Hobbits of Middle Earth didn’t have to answer to anyone. They were not beholden to kings. In fact, Kings bent over backwards to help the Hobbits in order to keep their nations free of the tyranny of Sauron.

Mordor combined to stop them from their quest. They say that if nobody hates you, if nobody attacks you, and if nobody resists you you’re not doing anything worthy. Well, from the Nazghul to the Orcs, from aberrant forces of men to the ring itself, it seemed that every evil power combined to stop the Hobbits, hedge them up, or kill them if they could. Only the Uruk-hai didn’t kill the Hobbits immediately after they found them, but only because a henchman of Sauran (Saruman) wanted to use the ring for himself. In other words, since every political party, including the GOP, and almost every reporter and newspaper hates conservatives as Hobbits, you can rest assured that they are viewed as a threat. Since they are a threat, they must be destroyed, diminished, discouraged, and demagogued. Krister Stendahl, late of the church in Sweden, reminded us that people see the best in themselves and paint their enemies in caricature. Every evil power, principality, and ruler of darkness in this world pulls out all the stops to mock, belittle, discourage, distract, rout, and destroy the Hobbits of politics- the Conservatives. They paint them as facists and compare them to Nazis by claiming they are “far right”; well, in relative terms, we are. However, you go far enough right, and you find the same kind of tyranny. Hobbits were never interested in ruling. They looked forward to Bilbo's next birthday.

Civilization depends on the Hobbits. The ability of Hobbits to move the ring without falling victim to its temptations determined the fate of the whole world. Only they could carry the ring without constantly falling victim to the temptation to usurp power. It is the sad disposition of almost all men as soon as they acquire the least scintilla of power and authority as it were to immediately begin to exercise unrighteous dominion. Even Galadriel, although she meant to rule well, realized that she would use it poorly, which is the same reason Gandalf refused to take it. Trust the ring to the Hobbits. Only they can be trusted with the requisite restraint to not immediately, irreversible, and irrevocably abuse the power of the ring. Sometimes they end up using it, and sometimes things go wrong, but they do not go alone, and they do not care about anything other than the peaceable life of the shire. So even if a Frodo falls victim standing besides the fires of Mt. Doom, you may count on Samwise to get him there and see to it that the ring never falls into the wrong hands.

People who parlance the image of Hobbits intend to belittle the people to whom they liken it when in reality it constitutes a gargantuan compliment. Consider the bravery, the faithfulness, the resolve, and the selflessness of the Hobbits in the Fellowship. They didn’t get a thing. They didn’t want anything. They weren’t tempted to use it for ill. Even Bilbo didn’t use it to take over anything, even his own village! Every mistake they made was because they believed in goodness in the world and assumed people of Middle Earth actually valued civilization. We know from the choices made by liberals that they care about themselves. They would never offer to make you toast, tomatoes, and nice crispy bacon. They would never move their horsemen between Minas Tirith and the Orcish horde to vouchsafe the city. Most people are willing to do whatever it takes as long as it doesn't cost them anything. The Hobbits were willing to give anything regardless of what it gained them. When they won, they smoked, ate, danced, and laughed, and then they went back to their hovels, fields, and families. If Conservatives are Hobbits, then only Conservatives can be trusted to take the ring to Mordor and keep power out of the hands of evil and conspiring me. I understand some people like Paul RINO claim to be conservative, but real conservatives will only take the ring in order to return it to its place. True conservative candidates will take authority only in order to return it to the hands of the people who created the government they serve. I am humbled to be a Hobbit and glad that I was born one.

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