I'm sort of glad the so-called "dad body" is vogue, because I can definitely achieve that. As I often opine on this blog, the state of Nevada finds me overweight and gives me demerits on my annual health appraisal because my basic BMI (height to weight ratio) is too high. One year, I argued with the doctor, who told me that I needed to do more cardio, and told her that when she did more cardio than I did that she could tell me that. Ultimately, we are born with a body type. That's not an excuse for inaction, but it does determine the maximum possible results of your efforts to get fit.
Some people get the opposite of what they earn. I know a woman who walks maybe a mile a day total and eats like a garbage disposal who, at 46, looks better than most 20 year olds. I also know a guy who eats salads and avoids fried foods and can't get below 250lbs. When I turned 26 and my metabolism slowed, I learned quickly that I couldn't eat whatever I want and remain sessile and still look and feel healthy. I learned since then that I can be and feel healthy and still not look it, at least not at first glance. Every time I weighed in at MEPS, when they taped me, I was fine, but on the scale I was overweight. My blood work is amazing. I can hike over 20 miles in a day and still drive my stick shift Saturn home. My students last night were surprised that I can drive home after class at 10PM.
This morning, I got a small victory when I realized on my way into work that my shorts that I bought this spring are now loose. Sure, I'm not really losing any weight, but my waistline continues to get smaller, and when I looked into the mirror I felt like I looked good. Maybe I'm not good enough to be an underwear model or to go shirtless at the beach and feel macho, but I look just as good as Harrison Ford did when he was my age, and I feel accomplished. Besides, I'm not willing to go to the effort necessary in order to look any better. I work out seven days a week every morning at 6AM (I sleep in until 7AM on Sunday), play racquetball Monday and Friday, and hike almost every Saturday, and that's just to maintain how I look. I'm not sure I want to know what level of additional effort it would take to get a six pack, and I'm not sure my body would let me. My hiking buddy thinks based on my body type and genetics that I'd have to reach below 5% body fat to have ripped abs, and I don't think I'm into that.
Last Thursday in class, since this class missed the first eight weeks of my jokes and anecdotes, I told them my joke about how to get a woman- be rich, be ripped, or chloroform. Last night in class, one young lady told me she's laughed about it all week to herself, so I elaborated about why men get abs. Years ago, when I had facebook and one of my female friends opined the fact that guys with abs never picked her, I explained that any guy who goes to that amount of effort isn't doing it for one woman. He intends to get "attention" from as many women as possible. One of the geology professors confirmed this to me yesterday when she told me how that kind of guy was back on the hunt after the testosterone kicked back in. With that amount of muscle, you can't expect a man to not be a testosterone-laden hulk and do everything women complain men do when dating. A guy who gets ripped does so to get noticed, to "get lucky" and to get his way. He's doing it for himself.
Just a week ago, my suspicions about how most of the beautiful people achieve this physique was confirmed when I started reading news about it online. Essena O'Neil became infamous about a week ago when she blew the whistle on the perfect image that social media types like she create. Although I have zero inclination to support her or suggest that you do, I found her confessions and explanations interesting. She admits starving herself for a week as an example of the efforts taken in order to have a flat stomach. For years, I've contended that you achieve that perfect physique by starving and dehydrating yourself, and that's exactly what this 18 year old girl did in order to have the "perfect body". Additionally, she admits it sometimes takes hours to get that "perfect shot" and "suck it in" in order to look like she's perfect and living the perfect life. However, she realizes now that she's perhaps more miserable than she was when she started. It's all a sham. It's not healthy, it's not natural, and it's not something I'm willing to do. I like to eat, I like to live, and I don't want to spend any more time every day working out just to fit someone else's standard of how I should look.
Although women largely do not embrace my looks, I have for the most part. I show up to family gatherings and am greeted as the "skinny" one. I wore a suit last Sunday that I bought when I was 19 years old. I have endurance, conditioning, and tone. I also have that stupid stubborn belly fat, but one woman told me years ago "I love you and your stubborn belly fat" and so I know that a woman can see my efforts even if the results don't meet expectations and give me credit for doing the best I can with what I have. Another student told me that her father gets hit on all the time despite his beer belly because the "dad body" is in vogue, and so she thinks I shouldn't have any trouble (aside from the beard which makes me look about ten years older than I am). I will never be an underwear model or make the fireman calendar, and I still won't go shirtless at the beach. I look good, even for my age, and I'll do what I can to take care of this mortal coil. Sometimes I even thank God I didn't get a different body because if I didn't have to earn it I know I might not appreciate it. On days when I feel bad about how I look, I go to the grocery store and feel better immediately. I'm doing the best I can, and for one woman that was good enough. Maybe it will be again. We reap what we sow, and even though there may be nothing obvious to see, I know the Lord who seeth in secret will somehow reward me openly. My grandparents reached the age of 90. To live long and prosper would be a great reward too.
No comments:
Post a Comment