Just before the year ended, I watched Home Alone as part of my personal traditions. It is probably for this reason that I made the commend about how at the end of the year it wasn't Kevin McAlister but I who was Home Alone. I was thinking today about how long I have lived without a woman's direct influence in my life, and having just watched that movie, some parallels became clear. Home Alone, aside from the burglary part, depicts fairly accurately what it's like for a man who goes for a prolonged period without a female influence in his life.
Yesterday my hiking buddy came by for a visit. He mentioned that I needed a woman to clean up after me. True, it is fairly obvious that I live here alone, but some of that isn't my fault. In addition to the fact that I had the flu for two weeks and didn't clean much, some of the clutter downstairs amounts to brickabrak from my late friend that she left me when she died. I'm sorting through it, taking out the trash, and preparing the rest to either pass on to her kids or donate to goodwill. My decor is very masculine, and there is a layer of dust on most everything. My buddy and I both hate to dust, but he hires someone to do that kind of cleaning and I do it when I get around to it since nobody here appreciates what I do.
Parallels from the movie both inspire me as well as give me pause. I leave loose legos beneath the windows downstairs in case someone break in while I sleep. A year before I moved in, several homes were robbed by entry through a side living room window, and it might not deter the intruder, but it sure buys me time to respond, and I have a bowie knife ready at all times when I'm not on campus. Other things gave different impressions. Like Kevin, I go do what I want, spend my money on what I want, and do what I like in the rooms of my house. I eat what I like and dress as I like and decorate how I like. I have made my hopes at family all but disappear.
The movie also details a single male at Christmas. Like Kevin, I go alone around the neighborhood to look at lights and attend concerts. I chat up the old men in the neighborhood and shop for necessities and decorate the front room (although not as much as he does). I even ask God to give me a family. Each year, however, there's nobody there in the morning on Christmas Day, so I guess I must be naughty. I do what I like and don't have to answer to anyone, and as I made my annual video for my family Christmas gala I realized just how much cool stuff I did in 2013.
Many men bow to a woman in order to compromise and "be happy". I know that being Home Alone is no panacea. I didn't go into a field of study that my mother demanded or marry a woman my mother picked or buy a house my mother insisted I buy. I did however follow the principles my mother espoused and followed in footsteps of faith and family. For at least a little while longer, I live close to my parents and talk with them about things that matter and things that affect us. When I finish, I drive to my place and do what I like. It was nice to sleep there a few nights ago when I took them to the airport and be back in my mother's house. There's something nice about that, and I hope some day I get to enjoy a home, a hearth, and a family of my own. For now, I have my independence and answer to nobody.
I know that I know love and that I know how to compromise. I once knew a woman who didn't have to ask me to change. I voluntarily did so because I wanted to be the man she thought I was. When I meet the right woman, I know I will want to please her, not that I compromise myself, but that I am flexible enough to make us work. I also know that the right person will be someone with whom I am excited to have a family. Sure, I could make it work, but Kevin wasn't hoping that just anyone would be there Christmas morning. He asked Santa for his family.
For now, I make it work. I make plans for what might be with landscaping and decoration and defense, but I know that if I had children I would need different plans. You can't leave legos everywhere or leave a knife lying around if you have children. Thankfully, I haven't been robbed yet, but I haven't found anyone who was actually willing to follow through on changing my batchelor status. Both of my immediate neighbors and the guy across the street are single parents, so I guess I'm in the right neighborhood. Unlike Kevin, I don't plan on living alone forever. Then again, not everything else went according to plan either.
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