I don't post a lot of pictures on the internet, and when I do it's to share something with you. I don't do it to boast, and I don't do it to brag. Mostly, I actually travel and do strange things because I'm bored and because I'm desperately trying to give my life meaning and purpose. I reached the age of 30 having done everything I wanted to do with my life besides be a dad, and since that's not just up to me, I decided I needed to find other things to do with which to fill my life. The trouble was finding people to go with me.
When I first moved to Vegas, I spent a great deal of time, effort, and energy involving others in my activities. I put together Facebook groups, organized activities, and I paid the costs of time, treasure, and effort getting people there and back again. We took trips for which I paid (they weren't like my trip to AK, but they did cost me money), and I sucked it up when I ended up chaperoning couples on dates because I thought my efforts were providing me friends. After I moved, I found to my disappointment that I was wrong. Out of sight, out of mind, and out of area, I soon found myself alone and once more on my own, and all of my efforts seemed wasted.
There are a lot of things I would like to experience or experience again in the right company. I liked Alaska well enough, but it was so remote that I won't probably return unless it's with my family. I am eager to share my life with people, even if it's not romantic, and so I appreciate those who do ask me to do things I am inclined and likely to do. Inviting me to a pool party? Yeah, that's not going to work, because I'm not going to have guys who look better shirtless competing with me for your attention. There are so many cool things that I have seen or done or desire to see or do about which nobody knows. I take thousands of pictures, and I see amazing things, and for the most part they are shared by random strangers who happen to be there for only a few minutes concurrently.
A few years ago, a friend of mine, with whom I also sadly no longer communicate (her choice) shared with me a song. I'm not normally a country person, but I also love this guy's voice, so I share it with you.
Will you go with me? It seems like such a simple question, but it's really what I'm asking in these posts, with my life, and when we interact in any way. Come with me. Ok, so maybe I don't intend for it to be romantic, and if I have an ulterior motive, I'll tell you, but when I talk to people, I'm inviting them to share my life and enjoy some of the things that have enriched my life. Life is after all richer when you share it.
Over the labor day weekend, I saw a thunderstorm every day. I sat under the clouds as the rain and thunder fell around me. At one point Monday, someone asked me if I was afraid; I told him that if it was my day, it was my day, and truth be told I was ready to go if that's what God wanted. The smell of the desert, the clap of the thunder, and the cool of the rain are not things I can accurately share with words; you would have had to be there with me to really understand and appreciate it. That's what I ask- someone who will go with me and share in those things with me. For now, I'm not doing what I do to brag or boast or lord over you with it; I'm doing it to fill the time and because I'm bored. My house is not a home. It's a place where I store my quesquilia.
If I ask, come with me. Even those who no longer talk to me will probably admit it was worth it to go and see things they otherwise might never have chosen to experience. I have chosen them because I can, and those that remain unfinished remain unfinished because I'm looking to share. Go with me.
1 comment:
Your life has so much meaning -- I know you want the right people to share it with and it will happen.
Loved your thought about being afraid ('if it's my time, it's my time') -- just an hour ago I got a call telling me that my mom had moved on and it was her time tonight. I hated the thought of her being alone in the hospital when it happened but your thought comforts me.
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