That Others Might Live

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Last night, my good friend and I talked for hours on the phone. He reminded me that I can have my shed back now, as I've been storing things in it for our late friend for several years. I hadn't even thought about that yet, because aside from a few things that are in the way, I don't think a lot about them because they are out of sight. You see, I have been thinking about getting rid of many of the things that remind me of those I lost because they are painful. I have a box in the bottom of the closet marked "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past" in which I keep some meaningful scrimshaw from women I love. I do not look in the box often at all, because I know that some of the emotions that will arise will be painful as they were for me this morning. Every woman I have ever loved who isn't family is gone, and the things they leave behind are not material.

I believe that things that we have are of very little actual value. Most of the time, they mean something to us because of the memories we associate with them. I mentioned a while ago the scrimshaw I display on a bookcase in the front room. Some of the items have a meager market value, but all of them have a story, a symbolic worth, which is why they stay there. You see, what matters most in our life is not what we have or what we do with what we have, but it is really the people in our lives who mean something to us that give our lives meaning. Perhaps this is why I didn't enjoy Alaska, because I was there not only by myself, but I also spent most of the time away from anyone at all, including away from the denizens. Even Boston means more, even though it's only because I share the stories of the families who thought it sad that I was there by myself. At least for me, the things I treasure most are because I associate them with memories of people who mean something to me.

For a long time, I have maintained that life is richer when you share it. If we were all meant to be alone, God would have arranged for us to each be born on our own planets. As my friend and I sat watching a thunderstorm roll in over us in the mountains today, we talked about the things that we have and what to do about them. My friend says he'll live a good life for our late friend now that she died in the prime of her life. It was an interesting notion, and it was one that would actually show up later in the day.

This afternoon, I came across an article by Brad Wilcox. I remember seeing Brad as a teenager and somewhere I have one of his books or talks on tape. He recounts a story of a conversation he has with a woman on the meaning of Christ's sacrifice for us, because it's a huge misconception in my Faith that we have to earn our way into heaven. Although some people think that everything is finished when you "accept Christ", Brad points out in his article something that rang true with me. Yes, Christ already paid the price that we might all live again. Our obedience to His commandments is not to qualify for blessings but to show our appreciation for what He did. Enzio Busche has also said, "out of the depths of gratitude for Christ's suffering, you show your appreciation by diligently serving Him". It shows appreciation, and it shows what His life and gift means to us.

Many people today abide the misbegotten notion that "you only live once, so live it up" rather than "you only live once, so live well". In living a good life, we show that we appreciate the fact that they lived, that they were an important part of our life, and that they really meant something to us. Just as we keep mementos of people who mean something to us, we keep in remembrance by continuing to live well to show our appreciation for the good people in our lives and especially for Him who died that all might live. I frequently tell my students to show that it's worth the price someone else paid by doing well in the course, and it kind of struck me just now about what it means to keep things in remembrance.

People make time for the things and people that matter to them. When they exit our lives, sometimes we give time to them still because they really mattered to us. Some of the people I know judge me for "living in the past" when I reminisce about people who mean something to be but whom I no longer see, but these people contributed to my present, and insomuch as their contribution led to something good, they were also good things in my life. I keep things, particularly pictures, to remind me of things that have value to me, even if the scrimshaw itself is pretty worthless. You see, people photograph things they desire to remember. Sometimes I just wish I had someone with whom to share the memories.

I decided to commemorate the people I love, the family into which I was born, and the Master I serve by living well. I will do what I can to show them that they mean something to me, and that our time together meant something. I will remember the good about them and strive to be a better person, the person they thought I was when we knew one another. I will try to be the person my dog thinks I am, or even that my kat thinks I am. To any of you who may read this I once loved, know that I wouldn't trade our time together for anything. Our lives are about the people who are in them, and you are still important to me, because you played a part in who I am, and I like who I am. Thank you for being part of my life, for helping me have a life, and for, willingly or not, acting as catalyst for me to turn to the Source of all Life. As I grow closer to Him, I also have the chance to help others live.