My students noticed that I frequently rephrase things I already said so that they are grammatically correct. Last night when we went into class, there was a study group doing practice for the TEAS test, and since they didn’t vacate before we arrived, they left all sorts of grammar exercises on the board. I kind of laugh because when I speak to different groups of people I automatically change the vocabulary I use and the diction techniques by which I apply the words to fit the audience. In certain realms, I elevate my speech, and at other times I use more layman’s terms.
One of my students commented on the fact that she found the TEAS test difficult because of the grammar section specifically. All too frequently because we find ourselves surrounded by people who speak poorly, the correct answer sounds odd or incorrect. Everyone I know answers the question as to their identity with “It’s me” rather than “It’s I” because the latter sounds archaic. Last year, I had a student correct a note I left on the board from “save from erasure” to “don’t erase”; I left a note that erasure has been a word for over 200 years, and that note is still on the board to this day.
Some simple techniques can be applied to elevate the way we communicate with one another. From changing our vocabulary to changing our inflection to changing the arrangement and use of words, the way we say things makes a huge difference. It’s also important what we say and where and to whom, because words have greater and more lasting power than any other weapons, because the words wound and last for sometimes an entire lifetime.
Inflection makes a huge difference in how Americans emphasize their speech. One thing I have noticed that can be useful is to finish a sentence on an uptick, letting your voice rise in pitch or tempo or energy as you come to the end. President Obama does this at the end of every phrase, indicating that he has been taught to do it, but probably not when or how. The fact that he does it at the end of EVERY PHRASE is actually annoying. Moderation seems prescient in this case.
Finish what you say with the positive portion of your message. I notice that many great songs, great quotes and the like start with negative portions or negative words. “Don’t forget” or “Don’t Panic” seem great, but your mind frequently omits the negative portion at the beginning because it’s technically a double negative, and your mind hears “forget” and “panic” even when you were trying to give good advice. In class before the first exam, I write, “Be calm” on the board. It seems a better upgrade. Put the positive part at the end, because that's the part that echoes. At the end of presentations, we summarize the parts we hope people take with them, but we do not always do that with people that we know and love.
Emphasize things correctly. Far too many people use either the word “very” as a modifier or employ more colorful metaphors for emphasis. Years back, I gave a speech at a high school and the students noticed that I said “Saved My Bacon” and “Rassafrassin” in my Q&A section. I asked them if that made my expletives more effective than profanity because they actually registered it without my being crude. Don’t say “very tired”; say “exhausted”. Don’t say “very high”; say “exorbitant”. Don’t say “very fat”; say “rotund”. Our vocabulary is much smaller today than the average uneducated person as projected several centuries ago, yet we have more access to information than they did. So, we communicate poorly.
Scold in private while praising in public. When it is time to scold, that’s fine. Doing it privately keeps it a secret to the benefit of people who may be willing and able to reform themselves. When you scold publicly and make a scene, the people scolded may not be able to recover from the impression that leaves in the minds of casual observers who hold it against them. When coworkers praise me, I ask for it in writing; sometimes they laugh, and then I point out that negative feedback is more common and more likely to be written down, and when it comes time to decide on tenure, promotions, et. al, it is wise to have praise to countermand the complaints accumulated. Make sure that people know about the good. That will help us to believing the best about people. I like (I’m not in love with it) this quote from Jeffrey R Holland: “Think the best of each other, especially of those you say you love. Assume the good and doubt the bad. “ Why do you think I wish I could upgrade it? In fact, I frequently rephrase other people to a more positive way. I would have reversed the end to say “Doubt the bad and assume the good” because I want to leave that with you to echo and have you remember to assume the good.
Assume the good habits of good speech. It will help you communicate more effectively and transform those with whom you communicate. As with our acts, why and how we say a thing matters at least as much as what we say. Words offer a means to meaning, and as we learn to use them more wisely, we can have more power to affect people in positive ways and encourage them to reformation and growth. You can upgrade your speech, and you can upgrade others when you speak correctly and well.
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