Especially now, people everywhere find themselves in need of help in various forms. They struggle with financial, physical, psychological, and spiritual burdens made all the more dire by the fact that the world itself is also up in arms, literally. Most people prefer to give money because it's easy, but what they need isn't usually money, even if money would temporarily help, because that's just a symptom of the larger problem.
I was a regular downtown Friday afternoons to feed the homeless for over a year. Eventually, the North Las Vegas Police kicked us off the property, after it grew so much that we looked like an eyesore on an important afternoon. People came from everywhere to help us dish out what was provided, and some even chipped in money or arranged for donations, but they were intimidated by the homeless. I was there, ironically enough, because the homeless were intimidated by me. I walked up and down the line, ostensibly to keep order, but mostly because I was talking with the people about their spiritual and psychological needs. I knew that the best thing I could really give them, even if I concurrently handed out socks, was my time and my attention.
Most people however satiate themselves caring for only the physical needs. They would rather feed a man for a day than teach him to fish. We tend to the physical needs of people for two reasons. First, it's easy to see it bear fruit and rarely costs us much. It works immediately, provides feedback immediately, and costs you cash, which is easy because it's not personal. Secondly, we can take credit. We have been trained to do things so we can put them on our resume or college applications or whatever. A direct link can be established between the recipient and the giver, and so we will go out and take credit for things unjustly ascribed to our actions.
We do not take care of the spiritual needs of people because it's harder work and harder to tell we made a difference. Besides that, ultimately, we don't do any of it, because the soul is healed by the Savior. Where there is sin or struggle or pain, ultimately there is little in our poor power to do. At best we, like I did down on the Strip, can only listen and show empathy, but ultimately the healing happens some other way.
Today I listened to members of my congregation thank other members of my congregation for their great help. While they do this to alleviate temporary albeit urgent needs of the people, they ignore the fact that others labor under guilt, shame, grief, and other burdens that cannot be solved by food baskets and cashier's cheques. I wondered if these members of my congregation did what they did to be seen of men- so that people would thank them publicly, so they can take credit. Even if they're helping others deal with other problems, we'll never know because those things should be secret, and if we do reveal them, it's a gross violation of confidence.
For the most part, I do what I do in silence. I prefer to fly under the radar and just do what I do because I ought. I don't like public recognition or awards. I like getting paid, but I don't publish or parade around my paycheck so all may note what great contribution I make to the school. While I keep a file of nice notes from students, I also keep it in a box under this desk, where I can read it when I feel down but where it otherwise remains anonymous. God knows what I did and those people know what I did, and that's where the accolades belong- between us.
When we act to be seen of men, our reward ends there. We have our praise, our plaques, or our paychecks, but our existence lasts far beyond retirement. I am laying up treasure in that other world knowing that lasting things last and immediate gratification rarely satisfies. I am perturbed by the focus on being seen on applications for college, programs, and such. I even hated having to read through resumes for an opening in our group because I had to rank people based on how well they lather themselves with accomplishments. Ultimately, all that we have and are comes from God. In Him we live and move and have our being. It is because of Him that anything we do or are is seen of any man, and I thank Him for His mercy giving me this day so that you can see this. All glory to Him. He's the source of all my good ideas, phraseology, and actions. I justly ascribe everything good you have through your association with me to Him. Give the glory to God.
1 comment:
Unfortunately, sometimes it’s very hard to help people by some other means besides money. I’m absolutely sure we need to try to talk people, give them good ideas, that’s all we can do, but it’ll up to them to listen or not. I believe in “change yourself change your life” approach.
When I used to send my mom some money because it’s hard to live in Russia, my younger sister would criticize me secretly telling my mom that she (mom) loves me more because I send her money and that I send her money to manipulate my mom (don’t know how?).
My sister is married, and on our extremely rare communications in the past she used to complain about her hard life. I wanted to teach her “to fish”, I know she has some talents and would be a great clothes designer, so I offered her to pay for her education at the very good university in our city where I used to go. It’s expensive to study there, especially with local salaries and absence of student loans. So I sent her money for the first study year. However, she gave it to her husband and they bought a cheap car (which broke after awhile). So she didn’t go to study anywhere, but had a great chance.
I would like to bring my closest relatives here, into the US, but nobody learns English. People want to live nicely, but they don’t want to do efforts that could bring them towards a better life.
My boyfriend recently broke up with me because he said that my opinions stress him out more and he doesn’t want my opinions. That’s because sometimes I’d try to push him to go to get any work and pay his child support, as I believe not paying child support and not fighting for visitations with your kid is the worst a guy can do (cannot call him a man).
So often people doesn’t really want to be taught to fish or look at life differently or helped mentally, but they will gladly take and spend your money.
About doing something for recognition. We didn’t have religion when I was growing up, but there was some sort of communism time during my first at least 10 years of life, and it has good ideas. In school they cared about teaching us morals, good values, collectivism was about contributing to society, helping people without looking for a reward for that. Even in later years our rich Russian literature and the heroes of the WWII were teaching us self-sacrifice for others, fighting for higher principles, loving with all your heart forever, never betraying your friend, being modest and not showing off, doing instead of talking, doing the right thing with no compromises, loving the internal beauty.
Because of my incorporated values which became inseparable part of me, sometimes it’s difficult for me to fit in better in the American culture of individualism and self marketing. I cannot market and praise myself well, so that’s one of the reasons I don’t want to be in business and sales. If somebody praises me, I also don’t feel very comfortable.
Like many other Russians, I assimilated a little, and now if somebody compliments me on appearance or anything else, I know I just need to accept it and say “thank you” ☺
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