Live Life to Its Fullest

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Last summer, a dear friend of mine gave me that advice but apparently it didn't sink in because she's still giving me the same admonition. I think that sometimes I'm afraid to be happy- like I feel it's not okay for me to do that when there's so much to be done and so many things I ought be doing to advance the cause of liberty. Focusing so much on duty, I don't enjoy the journey and as such render myself unable to live life to its fullest.

When I left for my mission in 1998, I remember that the last thing my father said to me face to face was to have a good time. What followed however were two of the most difficult years of my life- knocking on doors to have them slammed in my face, and making phone calls that went unanswered. Much of that was good preparation for dating.

So this morning, after I finished reading scriptures and psyched myself up to exercise, I took some time to reread that admonition. Can you be happy in times of trial? Do you have to LOOK happy to be happy? Am I living life to its fullest?

A few years back, when I started taking road trips, people I knew expressed interest in accompanying me. Without exception, when the time came, they all renigged on their interest or didn't return my calls at all, and so I left without them. Some things I've done I would never do alone again, and some things I might have done I didn't because if I'd hurt myself who would have helped me? I decided to go and do these things anyway because I didn't want to put off living waiting for other people.

However much fun I've had, I think life is more full when you have people with which to share your experiences. My students rightly point out the richness of experience I have, but they are interested because of the rapport we built during the semester. I am a real person, and their interest in me is real as well. Most people however don't care about what drives you as much as you do, so sometimes the experiences feel hollow.

I intend to go on straight on and do what it is that I want. I previously posted my plan of activities towards which I wish to work, and I plan to stick to that. They will give me satisfaction. They will give me opportunity. Those things will bring me happiness. By taking the reigns of my own life and sucking the marrow out of it, I can be happy. I know it will bring that.

These are wonderful days. These are my days. These are the days. I will make the most of them. Come with me if you like. If not, you can buy my book ;) and participate in that way.