Yes, I am officially 30, and I am in a "destination" mood. When I took stock of my life thus far this week, I felt a bit dispondent due to disparaties between where I am and where I thought/wanted to be by this age. Granted, like Jessica in my Thursday PM section says, I have accomplished quite a bit in 29 years, they are not necessarily the things I wanted to accomplish in that time, nor are they things I recommend per se.
Much as I am excited for them, a recent slieu of wedding or birth announcements by my peers has me in a dejected state. By the time my parents were my age, they had two children and one on the way and my dad was about 4-5 years into his USAF career. Recently too some close acquaintences of mine have admonished me as before to abandon my lofty morals as a means to gain what they define as happiness.
Ask my best friend, and he'll tell you that I'm one of the happiest men he knows. Not that I'm a laughing, la-di-dah, happy-go-lucky type, but I have that bliss and contentment that comes from being true to oneself and following one's dreams. In that way, I am by far and away ahead of most people, whatever their age.
Today, after a long morning walk, I decided to take certain steps to take control of my destiny and make sure that what I control is under control. What this will do is open opportunities for me, whether they actually come my way or not, so that I can jump at good chances instead of just at shadows. Details follow:
- I will start my PhD program sometime this summer
- I will apply for promotion to Scientist III
- I will sign up for as many sections in the fall as they will allow
- I will set up and push forward a research project at the university
- I will buy a house, move in, and find a roommate if possible
- I will finally get down to learning Spanish
- I will finish all the rest of my books currently in production and get them published by end of year
- I will continue to read classics of literature, politics, and math/science to better myself
- I will eat better and continue exercising for health
- I will go to Boston in the Fall
These things I control. They will make me a better person. Then I will leave the rest up to God and bind him with chains of righteousness to bless me and wait for him so to do. Everything I control is under control, including, after some work, my mood and temperament. Life is good.
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