In the past week, three different people have almost run into my car due to their own inattention. Each time I drove away, I thanked God vocally for my car, for every place it has taken me, and for the fact that it still runs. Moreover, I thanked God that I drove away safely. I hurt myself waterskiing on Saturday morning, and I've had a hard time walking and standing and even sitting up from a prone position since then, and so I thank God for health.
They say that you don't know what you're missing until it's gone. You certainly don't know whether you appreciate it until it's taken from you. It is very easy to take things for granted if they have always been. We assume that status quo is not only desirable but also guaranteed to continue when we are blinded by unbroken successes. I have seen students who have never failed before who came to expect success without understanding what lead to it. These are the people who complain that I don't review "enough" when I am under no obligation to do review sessions whatsoever.
Last night, my students came to class wearing jackets for the first time this fall. It's not really that cold outside, but to some of them, it's cold enough. I think what we see when people in Vegas complain about the weather is that they really have short memories for what they have. They opine the lack of heat in the winter after they complain about the extreme temperatures in the summer. They are never happy because they do not learn to appreciate what they have.
I have found that our ability to appreciate and show gratitude depends on how we perceive our circumstances. I used to love road trips, but I hate the drive between here and Salt Lake City because there are no people between the towns for whom I have any feelings. It consists of empty miles and empty smiles, and I hate the road because I want to be with people I love. If they were with me in the car, the journey would be much more pleasant because the people I love would be with me on the road. I don't mind the summer heat because I know it's temporary and because the cost of that is that we don't have snow down in the valley usually in winter. I can drive into the snow at Mt. Charleston when I like, but because of our desert heat we don't have much precipitation to harass us like other parts of the nation. I have stopped riding my bicycle in the morning until we switch to Daylight Savings (thanks for delaying it, Mr. President) because it's not safe to ride in the dark even though I wear flourescent green because the drivers don't look for me. I miss the light when it becomes dangerous to do things without it.
Today I feel grateful because I finally got a good rest last night. My muscles aren't resisting every move I make, every step I take, and I have energy for the first time in a week. I know that we learn to appreciate the preferable state of things after we experience the contrary. We appreciate happiness because we know sadness; we like to win because we know the sting of loss; we prefer good health because we know the misery of influenza. I know dozens of people who use drugs to get a high because their lives are filled with lows. They choose to ignore that this just postpones the troubles, which are there waiting for them when they come down off their high.
At the end of the day, the things that matter most are the people in our lives. Over the past few months, I have lost almost all the people who meant something to me in my life who are not family. Some of them are dead; others have decided that our relationships are dead. Relationships with people come slow and seem to vanish in a flash at simple things. While they are there, we tell ourselves that we appreciate them, but sometimes that's a lie we tell ourselves. It has been said that jewels and gifts are not signs of love; they are excuses for not showing love. The only true gift is the gift of self.
Last night I sent my sister a text message reminding her of an inside joke from our family trip to the Tetons in September. I told her that I hoped it would make her smile to remember something pleasant, and she texted me back that it worked. We only show people that we appreciate them when we spend the only resource in our lives that we cannot recapture. Spend time, your life's only finite resource, with the people that you love. Maybe it won't be an investment that generates the harvest for which you seek, but they will know that you love them because you gave them something you could have given to other people.
I think one major test of life is to show that we appreciate it. We appreciate those who gave us life, who enhance our lives, and who accompany us during part of life's journey. One of the readers of this blog has been sharing emails with me back and forth about a personal issue with which this person knows I have some experience. This person wrote that it means a great deal to know on days when I write them back that I have taken some of my time to comfort or at least converse with someone I don't even know. Why do I do it? I care. Sometimes I hate that I care, because I'm not sure that anyone who isn't blood really cares about me, but dashitall, I mean it, and so I dare do all that may become a man. "For I was an hungered, and ye gave me meat, thirsty and ye gave me drink, naked and ye clothed me, sick and ye visited me." I endeavor with my life to prove that I mean what I live and that I appreciate what I have not just with words but by using what I cannot get back to enrich the lives of people for whom I care.
After that, I let them enrich their own lives by letting them live them. I reread many of the blog posts I have written in the past couple of years, and I realized that I mean it with the way I live. Sometimes I make mistakes. Always I treat others as agents. It's the only way I know how to show them that I really love them, by treating them like God treats me. He taught me correct principles, lets me govern myself, and provided a way to bring me back into His presence when I fail, through Christ. I think I'm learning to love people the way He does. I don't really understand it, and I cannot conceive of loving billions of rebellious or ignorant children, but I may finally be starting to understand how and why He loves me. He lets me go and do. He knows I may be the prodigal, but He lets me go anyway, knowing that if I come back, I will have learned to appreciate what I have, who I am, and the relationship between Him and myself.
Cars, healthy bodies, cash, jobs, and the like are not what makes life worthwhile. They make it easier. What makes life worthwhile is in appreciating what we have by caring for it, by caring for the people we love and who love us. For those of you who have someone in your life to love, consider your blessed state. When I spoke with the gal at the gym yesterday, she told me that she could tell I have changed since Spring when I had someone to love. When I told her to appreciate what she has, she told me that she knew I meant it, that she knows I mean what I say to all the folks who work there when I emphasize their blessings, and she tried to do it back to me. Appreciate what you have, particularly if it's another person who knows all about you and loves you anyway.
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