Who Knoweth But That They Will Return

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Since I worked in a plant laboratory as a graduate student, I try to keep plants growing in my office and lab space. I feel it’s important to legitimize my work and because I enjoy watching living things grow. I have learned from this that the size of the seed is no indicator of how likely it is to grow and that sometimes the skill of the sower is not enough. Sometimes, the seedling does things you don’t expect even after germination and dies suddenly despite your efforts. Sow anyway.

One of my favorite things to grow are avocado trees. I eat a few of these every month, and so I take the seeds and shore them up and hope that they will germinate into trees so I can grow avocados some day in my own yard. The avocado pit is a rather large seed as seeds go, and it takes quite a bit of time to germinate, if they ever do. Many of them are contaminated by fungus which quickly kills the fledgling root, and sometimes even after the cotyledons and first true leaves emerge the trees die for no good reason. I have only been able to get three seedlings to grow large enough to make multiple leaves.

In one powerful way, growing avocados this way resembles our efforts to share our testimonies of Christ. It’s one of the most important things in this world and for our eternity, and yet sometimes we have no idea how to get started or why it fails after the cotyledons emerge from the seed. Even one seed I germinated, despite substantial root growth, never sent forth a shoot and never made leaves. I do not know what happened or why. I continue to water it anyway.

Ministering in the gospel has always been a sore point for me. Those who know me well know that I claim no fruit in this regard. Although I have shared my witness of Christ with folks who now follow the Master, none of them did so when I was around. I returned almost 13 years ago from my full time mission in Austria after having labored by what might be measured according to man’s metrics as an abject failure, having failed to my knowledge to help anyone repent and come to Christ of those I was called to rescue. One thing I remember from my interview at the time of my release was this quote that was originally given to Heber J Grant upon his return from Japan in similar circumstances : “His success was that he continued in the absence of success”.

I am not the first to feel as if his labors were without useful work. Elijah opined the wickedness of Israel when he petitioned God, “It is enough, Oh Lord, take thou my life, I pray thee”. Abinadi was executed by King Noah after calling the king to repentance without seeing that one of the priests had heard him and felt the call to repent. My own father taught a nice fellow named Guenther who finally allowed himself to be baptized almost a decade later. Like the avocado seeds I attempt to nurture, we water them and care for them and watch them and hope that they will leaf out and take on lives of their own. As God advised the people of Ancient America, “unto such shall ye continue to minister, for who knoweth but that they will return and repent and thou shalt be the means of saving some soul”.

Far too many of us are willing to act if and only if there is a guaranteed harvest for us. As much as I grow tired of feeling as if I’m the Johnny Appleseed of Christianity, spreading seed wherever I go without ever harvesting, I know that someone has to sow in order for there to be a harvest for anyone. I feel very strongly that God asks me to witness, to write this blog, to call friends, and to do all the things I do that seem silly, strange, or psychotic to people of no Faith whatsoever because I am willing to go and do. My best friend told me years ago that this is what made my faith noble- that I move forward without knowing if it’s right but without caring what happens to me. Neal A Maxwell wrote that God gives the picks and shovels to the chosen because they are willing to go out and get the work done. They may not be the most capable, but they are the most available.

Before I left for my mission, I heard a story. It does not matter if it was true, because it made what I did as a consequence something that was true. In the story, some missionaries elect for the first time in their service to travel to the gym dressed as missionaries, change clothes there, shower, and change back into their missionary dress before they go home. They did this, and a woman approached them at the bus stop looking for Christ’s help; although she had seen them many times before, she did not recognize them as servants of Christ because they looked like everyone else. Consequently, I resolved to be the kind of person that would be available and recognizable if and when, like Moses, God had a work for me to do.

A few nights ago, I felt impressed to call a friend of mine who I knew has been struggling. I did not know why, but I did not need to know. I called anyway. She wept as we spoke of Christ and His atonement and the hope of a better world to come. She asked me how I always knew when she needed help. I don’t. I act on impressions and trust that God will make useful work of my quick response to His promptings. I do not know what will happen, but I will continue to minister unto her, “for who knoweth but that she will return and repent and thou shalt be the means of saving some soul”.

I have seen many of the seeds I planted wither away and die. Some are cankered by the fungal contamination of continued defiance of commandments. Some grow roots but never put out any leaves to capture the light of truth, relying only on what I give them rather than seeking for God. Some of them grow leaves only to die inexplicably. Many of them never germinate at all. As with the avocado, I continue to plant and nurture seeds anyway because I know this isn’t about the sower; it’s about the seed. The fruit is not mine; it is God’s.

Every spring, farmers all over the globe venture into their fields and sow seeds. They have absolutely no guarantee that any of them will grow, let alone grow fruit. However they know that if they do not sow, then none of us will have aught to eat. They know that because of their diligent efforts those seeds may germinate, send forth tender shoots, and eventually bear fruit.

I sometimes think of the people I met as a missionary and those to whom I have witnessed of Christ in the intervening decade. Many of their faces and names remain clear to me to this day. I hope they decided to access the Atonement of Christ. I know that there is no way nor means by which man can find peace in this life and lasting happiness in the world to come except through the atonement of Christ. Unto such shall I as they allow me opportunity continue to minister, for who knoweth but that they shall turn unto Christ and repent and I shall be the means of saving some soul. I know God looks forward to that fruit. I hope I will continue to be able to continue in the absence of success until He calls me home and says, “Well done thou good and faithful servant. Your success was that you continued in the absence of success.” Sometimes the seeds don’t grow into what you hope or as fast as you might like. Sow anyway.