Choosing to Follow

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Last night in our church conference, we rose as a group to sing as is customary the intermediate hymn. Normally, the chorister is not of the kind that he or she commands the attention of the organist or the congregation, and so the congregation follows the normal beat to which they are accustomed or they follow the musical instrument. This time was not the case. The organist followed the chorister who led the music in a way, at a cadence, and with a flair I have never seen and which the congregation seemed reticent to follow. Consequently, we were off key, off tempo, and sounded awful until finally at the end because I know how to follow a musical leader I sang loudly enough to get people to follow my lead as I followed the chorister.

My observations told me a few things that are consistent with some other thoughts I had of late. Despite all of what we know and are taught, we do not know how to be led. Despite all of our testimony to the contrary, we do not desire to be led. Despite our previous stumblings, we refuse to acknowledge when being led resulted in a better outcome than we otherwise might have expected. Let us consider each of these individually.

We do not know how to be led. Going back to last evening, it was evident then as it was when I was young that most people do not understand who leads the music. As a teenager, I had a mentor who taught me how to lead as well as how to command the attention of the accompaniment, because that’s how you get the congregation to follow. You take charge and you set the terms. Whenever you gather a group of diverse individuals united by a narrow sliver of common ground, you find that each among them follows his own way, partially because he does not know the rules of the road. We all have our own experiences, and I drive around my neighborhood differently now that I understand the timing and traffic and back roads than I did before I knew the area. Sometimes, when we find the best we for us, we act as if it’s the best way for everyone. In the row ahead and to the right of me was a certain pillar of the Faith who I know from experience views himself as more important than others. When I started changing the tempo loudly, he looked over with disgust to see who was throwing off his groove. The trouble is that in that instant, no matter his title, he was not the leader of the music. There was another subject matter expert present with a better plan. I read a story recently about people who got lost in Death Valley because their GPS gave them bad directions. It gives you the most direct route, which may not be advisable or passable, and taking bad roads remains the largest reason why people die in Death Valley.

We do not desire to be led. Along with “our way or the highway”, this particular officer in the Faith believes he is smarter and better than I am. Because he is learned and exalted in station, he is wise in his own mind and is unwilling at least betimes like some of us to be led by someone in a better position. We get wrapped up in our stations and don’t listen to people of lower rank or age or wealth or title or whatever. At other times, we get wrapped up in the traditions of our fathers and refuse another leader because “that’s just not the way it’s done” without asking if that’s the best way. The story is told of a woman whose husband asked her why she always cut the turkey in half on Thanksgiving before cooking it. The story unfolds after some inquiry that her grandmother did it because the oven was too small, but there’s no otherwise good reason to continue this tradition. We get into patterns sometimes that keep us from a more excellent way. Some of us don’t like patterns at all because we reject limitations and leadership. Years back, the TV Show “Home Improvement” made popular a line of t-shirts imprinted with the phrase “real men don’t need instructions” that implies that if you need to be led you are weak, and no real man wants to appear weak.

Being led is the best way to lasting happiness. If you ask me, I can give you specific examples of times where I thank God I did not get what I wanted at the time. How many of us really know what we want, let alone what’s best for us? Frank Luntz talks in his book “What Americans Really Want, Really” about how much of what we want is impressed upon us from outside sources rather than from internal desires. Furthermore, the example of scripture from Genesis on repeats the theme that if we obey, God will lead us to a land of promise. One chief key in this life is to realize that you can only really live when you choose to live your own adventure, not the one dictated or suggested by people who ostensibly love you. The highest way to love someone is to allow them to act as an agent, even if that means they will make mistakes, because that is what God does for us, and then provide a way for them to return after the prodigal realizes his error. That’s why Christ matters so much, because even the best of us is a sinner and needs intercession from the Savior to reenter the Father’s presence and receive what the Father hath. After you choose to live your own adventure, which is the easier of the two phases, the next challenge comes in embracing the life that God chooses for you and submitting your will to His. He knows what can come from the challenges He allows, and so His plan for your life will be better than any you can dream up on your own.

Years ago, I followed this pattern and learned this lesson. Today, I am reminded by God to keep on that way. A problem at work threatened my livelihood. My vocational prospects were dim, my legal status was in jeopardy, and I was allowed to be treated like a perpetrator when I was the victim of another person’s piss poor choices. Friends advised me to retain Counsel. Some suggested I quit my job and move away. Family members suggested I back down from a principled position and roll with the status quo. I prayed. I felt impressed to trust God and seek only that remedy that would remove the problem. As this person continued to escalate the situation, life grew more stressful. Eventually, someone in a position to act transferred me to a better location with more opportunity and other advantages without any ramifications, and I testify that I am in a land of promise.

Although I did not know how to be led when this began, I chose to be led by God. Sure, I wanted to feel like I was in control, but all I could do was choose what particular entropy I faced. I knew what was and it made better sense in hindsight to stick with what I knew rather than complicate it, but in the moment I could not see what might be best for me. Wrote the anonymous poet “We tangle up the plans the Lord hath wrought, and when we cry in pain, He says, "Be quiet, dear, while I untie the knot." Desiring to be led requires that we admit that we are not the subject matter expert in our own lives. It requires us to surrender our delusions of control and submit to the will and wisdom of our Creator in helping us find the best life for us. Knowing how to be led requires us to recognize that He can do more with our lives than we can. Choosing to turn our lives over to God will, like it did for Israel in Egypt, lead you to a land of promise. I testify that continuing to trust God to lead your life will lead you to a land of milk and honey. It has for me; it will for you too.